6. Macy's Herald Square, Basement
Neighborhood: Garment District
Address: 151 West 34th St.
Date Visited: 12/9/2012
Smelled Like: Sadness
Most Heinous Feature: The longest bathroom line in human history.
While we picked a relatively good time, all things considered, to use the Central Park bathrooms, we descended into Macy's at the worst possible time. Truly, we're not ready to talk about what we witnessed. If you're ever assigned a paper for lit class about "Man's Inhumanity to Man," begin your research here, because this is on some Lord of the Flies shit. Customers balancing Cuisinarts and bags of clothing jostled each other for position in line for these tiny-ass bathrooms. Fathers and brothers moped sadly on the nearby steps, glumly waiting for female family members to emerge from the never-ending women's room line. Sure, the facilities are pretty okay by cleanliness standards, but that's like saying the waiting room for hell has comfy chairs.