How to Be a Better Samaritan

Keep It Together on the Subway

Nobody's thrilled about having to take public transportation. It's a filthy, unreliable, and slow way to get from your hellish apartment to your thankless job. This humiliating hinge point of the rat race is made all the more painful by droves of parolees, lunatics, and peaking-on-bath-salts types who treat the subway like a mobile bed and breakfast. Treat the train or bus like a library, where the only acceptable behaviors are silent ones. Do use headphones. Do not try to stab anyone with a pen. You get the idea.

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