15 Reasons You Aren't Voting

You hate Mormons almost as much as you hate ethnic minorities.

Tough luck? Remember, there's always Virgil Goode, the Constitution Party candidate who exudes Southern charm and total whiteness as a Baptist gun-rights advocate from Virginia who says things like "a knife through hot buttah." Realize that nobody actually courts the vote of a racist anti-Mormon bigot, so it's best you throw it toward this hopeless third-party campaign.

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