The 10 Types of People You Meet in College

Philosophers

You don't prefer the term "philosophy major." We're sure your parents appreciate that you're pissing away $30,000 a year on an education you could've surely gained by entering and never leaving a public library. You read an excerpt of Volatire's Candide once, and now you're convinced that all humanity is a plague upon the earth. You emerge from four grueling years of intensive perusal still a hermit, but a learned hermit, a description that will be sure to "wow" prospective employers everywhere but in real life.

Similarly, let's talk about English majors. We're sure your parents appreciate that you're pissing away $30,000 a year on an education you could've surely gained by entering and never leaving a public library. You read an excerpt of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian once, and now you're convinced that all humanity is a plague upon the earth. You emerge from four years of intensive perusal still a hermit, but a learned hermit, a description that will be sure to "wow" prospective employers everywhere but in real life.

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