The men whom women invariably settle down with all have one thing in common: they make her feel special. If you're failing to inspire this feeling in her, it's probably because you're more focused on your feelings than hers.
Sometimes men are so caught up in impressing their date, they come off as uninterested in the person in front of them. By the time the first date ends, they've rattled off their list of brag-worthy accomplishments, but never took the time to understand what she's about. Take a breather, and let the poor woman speak!
The easiest way to set yourself apart from the self-absorbed schmucks taking her out is to ask her questions and actually listen. She'll feel more connected to you, and you'll actually make it to date number two. It's a win-win situation.