You Want to Know Everything About Your Meat
Listen, the less you know about how your food is prepared, the better. Trust us. Stop asking your server dumb questions. They couldn't care less about your altruism. They make, like, $4 an hour. You're not charming anyone.
You might feel better knowing that your entree was a "humanely raised, certified organic, grass fed, free roamer." But, ultimately, that cow was Tased in the face and bled to death upside down so that you could try the dry-aged burger on an Orwasher's bun at, say, the Dutch. Stop acting so concerned. And If you're going to put your server through the trauma of explaining everything, tip generously. A 25 percent tip is the only thing that can save you.