He says: Anything followed by “That doesn’t count as sexual harassment, does it?” or “Don’t report me.”
Your handbook calls it: Too many entries to list
She calls it: Sexual harassment
Why you're wrong: Like a mean-spirited insult followed by "no offense", tacking this onto the end of your sentence immediately signals you've said something offensive. Likewise, prefacing "Your ass sends shock waves up my body" with "I totally don't mean this in a sexist way" does not nullify your offense; rather, it takes it to another echelon of douchtasticness.