Let's talk about sex
He says: "I can't concentrate today. I haven't had sex in, like, for-ev-er. The old lady is being sting-ay with the boo-hoo-tay!"
Your handbook calls it: Offensive jokes, pictures, graffiti, and/or comments
She calls it: ...did you just pronounce booty like R. Kelly circa 2000??
Why you're wrong: Talking about your sex life is always off-limits, but complaining about your lacking sex life turns your inappropriate over hare into an invitation. Play it safe and look for sympathy for your neglected penis elsewhere. Or better yet, nowhere.