19. Tommy Joe's
Address: 4714 Montgomery Ln., Bethesda, MD
The douchiness of a bar isn't bound by city limits. Located in the D.C. suburb of Bethesda, Tommy Joe's is the high school assistant coach of bars, and we ain't talkin' about an elite team either. It's in downtown Bethesda, which means a lot of office buildings, making it a prime (read: lazy) destination for company lunches and happy hours. If your boss takes you here, he doesn't like you.
Speaking of assistant coaches, they make the staff here dress up like assistant coaches, a very cruel joke. Imagine someone serving you a drink while the both of you know that the bartender hates their existence for having to parade around in such ridiculous attire.
You can make your way out to the deck and listen to the professionals in the area spin uninteresting tales to co-workers who are only there because some shallow prick with a deep wallet is footing the bill. Despite being outdoors, the deck smells like an ashtray, and the food is only good when someone else pays for it. If you're unlucky enough to visit this place on the weekend, it's the same losers, only they've traded work clothes for a more casual look. If you're lucky, you'll get to watch some dude try (and fail) to smash some girl he's been trying and failing with since the 12th grade. Ice Cube would be so disappointed.