7. Mad Hatter
Address: 1319 Connecticut Ave. NW
The Alice in Wonderland-theme is fitting because this place is from another dimension. We assume you like having a good time; that's next to impossible here, unless you get off on cramped spaces. This place gets crowded on weekends, meaning you go from feeling like you're drinking in a packed classroom to feeling like you're drinking in an overcrowded prison in minutes. Drunken idiots aren't usually well-mannered, but most of these idiots don't know what "excuse me" means. The nerve of a motherfucker to look at you wrong for not wanting them in your way.
Here's a word to the wise: Go to this place on St. Patrick's Day at your own risk. It's like somebody chopped the roof off of a party bus and dumped the intoxicated contents inside. You might be thinking you could use a rude awakening, but save yourself the trouble. Seriously. We did that so hopefully you don't have to go through that.