You're an Amateur MMA Fighter
Why you think it'll work: The easiest way to be the best at something is to do something that nobody else does. You want to be the best fencer in your high school? Take one fencing class. Done.
Ten years ago MMA was a fringe sport novelty. Anyone with a wrestling background, boxing trainer, and pretty incredible pain tolerance could compete. Or, at the very least, know enough about footwork and shifting body weight to scrap with a hobo on bath salts.
Why it won't: Now, nine-year-old kids spend their weekends in meat lockers, practicing guillotine holds and getting tribal tattoos around their belly buttons. Everybody is a trained fighter and even the pussies do Cross Fit. Starting a drunken bar fight these days is a potentially lethal display of machismo.
Having your face caved in by an Armenian guy in compression shorts is a tough way to make a living. Kimbo Slice was the baddest dude on the Internet until he spent 30 seconds in the cage. Now, he gets called out by every spray-tanned jack-off in an Affliction t-shirt and he's way more badass than you are.