Tell Her You're Broke
Strippers want your money (it's, like, their job). When a stripper goes in with the obligatory small talk, stress the fact that you’re broke. Tell her things about the recession. Talk about how company-wide layoffs may affect your position at Burger King. Hell, maybe even ask to borrow a few bucks. Say you’ll mow her lawn, and make sure she understands that was not intended as innuendo. Either way, let it be known that your wallet is as empty as her transparent stripper heels.