Act Crazy

If all else fails, just scare her off. Sit in the corner blinking uncontrollably while muttering lines from Big Momma's House 3. Ask for a drink menu and then read it upside down, commenting on how good everything looks. Do your best Norman Bates impression. Maybe wear a ski mask. Or a top hat. Or both, simultaneously. Have some fun with it. Get creative. Let your freak flag fly.