3. Mad River
Address: 126 Chestnut St.
For you non-Philadelphians, Manayunk—where Mad River lives and sweats and pukes—fills a space every metropolis needs. All major cities have that neighborhood where recently-graduated, upwardly-mobile college folks can be isolated from the grittiness of city life. Manayunk is the insulation from life and culture that these fragile climbers need to succeed. And when they need a break from networking, they get their kicks at Mad River. Glow dance parties are a great way to get much-needed kicks. The newly-instituted "Locals Only Tuesdays," the only way for "LEGIT INDUSTRY HEADS" to get "REAL DRINK SPECIALS," is another great kicks outlet. And us? We get our kicks at Mad River, too. We go there and kick as many shins as we can before the cops arrive.