4. Nobody Cares That It's Your Birthday
First and foremost, fuck your birthday. Seriously. The simple fact that it's the anniversary of the day you were born does not give you a license to be a brat, or try and run the bar. Don’t ask the bartender to “make you something special” or “buy you a shot." Asking for someone to buy you anything is like begging for a retweet—you’re playing yourself, and with an unforgiving audience.