Pickin' Burgers: Five Guys

Every Tuesday, Complex.com's City Guide reviews a burger based on price, convenience, and taste.

When it comes to burgers, I tend to like it simple: cheese (lots), onions, tomatoes, and mustard (if you're gonna mess around and put some lettuce on it, go ahead and give me some pickles, too). I'm usually into a thin, flaky patty as well, so naturally I'm a fan of both Cali's In-N-Out and Manhattan's Shake Shack. Last week I finally hit up the much-hyped Five Guys (7th Avenue location in Brooklyn), and not only do I now believe the hype, I'm actually putting Five Guys ahead of the aforementioned West Coast and Madison Square Park institutions. Keeping reading for the review and the inaugural Pickin' Burgers Index...

By Jack Erwin

I occasionally go for a Double-Double at In-N-Out, but I generally stick to a single patty for cheeseburgers. At Five Guys, it turns out you don't really have a choice. It's technically a single patty, but c'mon fam, just look at that thing—if you've got burger neathage big enough for a glob of cheese to get caught on, that's a SPINO (single patty in name only). The cool thing is, it doesn't actually taste like a double patty either, though. It's juicy, but not the dripping-off-the-chin, this-is-how-the-Donner-Party-must've-felt juicy you get with the big patties at some fancy burger joints. My only complaint is that the bun could've been a little thicker to help cushion all that meat (ayooooooo!!!), but the tomato and onions were competent, and that's actually harder to pull off than it sounds. So, hefty in the hands and light on the palate, with the trimmings done well—not just for fetishists any more!

Five Guys: The Pickin' Burgers Index
• Price: 4 ($6.99).
• Convenience: 4 (725 locations in 40 states).
• Taste: 8. I'm going to reserve 9s for truly superior, out-of-this-world burgers, and 10s for ones that make a martini and dessert to go with themselves. So an 8 on my personal Pickin' Burgers Index is nothing to sneeze at. The high score's been set.
• Total: 16 (out of 20).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

***The Pickin' Burgers Index explained:

• Taste is ranked on a 10-point scale, and is entirely subjective, entirely at each individual reviewer's discretion.
• Price and Convenience are objective measurements on a 5-point scale. For Price, a "5" is given to burgers costing less than $2.50, a "4" to burgers costing $2.50 to $10, with a point drop for each subsequent $5 price increase (an "3" for $10-$15, a "2" for $15-$20, etc., to a "1" for $20+).
• For Convenience, a "5" is awarded to burgers served at over 1000 locations, a "4" to burgers served at 100-1000 locations in more than 30 states, a "3" to burgers served at 10-100 locations in more than one state, a "2" to burgers served at more than one location in a city or region, and a "1" to burgers served at one location.

Like burgers? Got one that you want to index? Hit Jack at @JackEComplex. If your review is published, we'll pick up the tab.