Sports 5 Former Yankees Who Weren’t Built For The Big Apple

Note to CC: Sometimes Yankee pinstripes feel like prison bars.

If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. If you can’t, you’re just a c-suckin’ sonovabitch. Star pitcher CC Sabathia, who just signed with the Yankees for seven years and $161 million, will soon find out if he can deal with the stress of hurling in the Big Apple. A fat, fun-loving California dude, he wanted to sign with a National League team in the Golden State, where life and baseball are sunny, but he took the Evil Empire’s money and now he’ll have to contend with cold weather, frigid fans, high expectations, over-involved owners and media that gets up in that ass more than a prison sugar daddy.

We’ll have to wait and see if Bronx Bummers boo the smile off his face, but in the meantime, check out six players who signed with the Yanks for big money as free agents and found out they were definitely not built for New York…

Sports 5 Great Moments Of Thievery At Yankee Stadium

Bases aren’t being stolen at Yankee Stadium anymore, but that doesn’t mean the thievery is over. During the 85-year-old ballpark’s final game, police arrested 18 people for trying to swipe souvenirs rather than pay some rich assholes for the right to own a Yankee urinal.

A private security team is going to protect the stadium from other would-be thieves now (like that’ll stop us). In honor of the fans’ five finger discount, after the cut Complex looks back at five great Yankee Stadium rip-offs. We’re stealin’ on ya!