Just like your colon, sports need an asshole. This weekend, mixed martial arts found its attention-grabbing, shit-popping sphincter when former WWE fake wrestler-turned-fighter Brock Lesnar managed to piss off everyone at UFC 100. Big Lez retained his heavyweight title by brutalizing Frank Mir, who’d beaten him 17 months earlier, then taunted his bloodied, defeated foe. The Mandalay Bay crowd turned on the gentleman champ and booed, at which point he middle finger-blasted them. As if he hadn’t been enough of a dick already, in a post-match interview, he squeezed out a stinky on sponsor Bud Light, saying he prefers Coors Light “because Bud Light won’t pay me.” Finally, he talked about mounting his wife later that night. Though UFC president Dana White claims he was incensed and tore his asshole champ a new one, we all know the organization is fortunate to have a hated star to market.

With Lesnar’s emergence as a bad boy, Complex got to thinking about the other athletes who stand out as the current villain of their sport. Check out our list and let us know if there’s somebody you think is a bigger bad boy. We can handle it. After all, we love the hate…

CYCLING: Lance Armstrong
• In his most recent Nike commercial, cancer survivor and suspected steroid user Armstrong implies that anyone who says he’s an arrogant doper hates cancer patients. Hey, you’d be a dick too if you had only one nut.

FOOTBALL: Michael Vick
• In Vick’s defense, the convicted dogfighter didn’t kill any human beings. Then again, convicted man-slaughterer Donte Stallworth never owned a “rape stand.”

BASKETBALL: Ron Artest
• Ron-Ron will always be notorious for the brawl in Detroit, but we don’t think he’s a bad guy because he punched some stupid drunk fans. Forcing us to listen to his god-awful rap songs though? That is some nefarious shit.

BASEBALL: Manny Ramirez
• Major League Baseball’s latest poster boy for steroids has barely apologized for taking juicing and attempting to mask it with a female fertility drug, but then when have you known a woman to admit she was wrong?

SOCCER: El Hadji Diouf
• It’s easy to hate a pretty boy like Christiano Ronaldo, but when it comes to villainy, he ain’t got spit on Senegalese Blackburn Rovers striker/right wing El Hadji Diouf, who’s been suspended and fined for all the fans and players he’s gotten spit on.

HOCKEY: Sean Avery
• When not agitating foes, fans, and refs on the ice, Avery is reminding other NHL players that they’re high sticking his sloppy seconds. Two-for-one digs at opponents and ex-girlfriends—the man is an ice beast!

GOLF: John Daly
• A lovable loser to many, Daly is known less and less for his golfing and increasingly for his bad boy addictions to cigarettes, gambling, dysfunctional marriages, and alcohol (he was once taken into protective custody in North Carolina when he got drunk and passed out in front of Hooters). Wait, did we say he’s a villain? We mean he’s our hero!

TENNIS: Lleyton Hewitt
• This Aussie-hole denies that he’s racist, but at the 2001 U.S. Open Hewitt implied that a line judge was making calls for his opponent, James Blake, because they’re both black. Black people, you got served!

In The Wrestler, Darren Aronofsky’s awesome new film, beat-up, has-been actor Mickey Rourke plays Randy “The Ram” Robinson, a beat-up, has-been wrestler who was big shit in the ’80s but now fights in school gyms and can barely manage to pay rent on his trailer home. At one point, Ram describes himself as “an old broken down piece of meat.”

Sadly, too many real-life fake wrestlers stick around the ring past their prime, when their meat has gone wrinkly and rancid. In honor of this award-worthy flick, check out five real old-ass fake wrestlers who should go down for the count and throw themselves wholeheartedly into retirement.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN

• Age: 54
• Wrestling Debut: 1979
• Reason He Should Tap Out: We will always remember and love Hacksaw, wrestling’s original American patriot who carried a big stick (…), but in 2008, dude is looking like Old Glory.

STING

• Age: 49
• Wrestling Debut: 1985
• Reason He Should Tap Out: He can hide his years behind face paint, but these days when old boy rolls under the ropes the only thing stinging is his arthritic joints.

KEVIN NASH

• Age: 49
• Wrestling Debut: 1990
• Reason He Should Tap Out: Known as Diesel back in his days man-groping for WWF/WWE, Nash is a few grey hairs away from pumping five-lb. weights in senior pool aerobics class.

FINLAY

• Age: 50
• Wrestling Debut: 1974
• Reason He Should Tap Out: His Irish act is as old as he is, but we forgive it because he’s actually from Northern Ireland. Still, his luck ran out around the time his balding dome couldn’t support a mullet anymore.

HORNSWOGGLE

• Age: 22
• Wrestling Debut: 2004
• Reason He Should Tap Out: Finlay’s Leprechaun-like “son” has only been on this earth 22 short years, but that’s like 78 in wee little people years. And yes, we’ll be wearing shin guards from now on in case he tries to see our ankles in the streets.