Now it seems Pharrell wants to do the same with N.E.R.D. Recently, a PYT has been seen accompanying P, Chad and Shay on stage at various tour stops, leaving people wondering who she was. Then Star Trak rapper Fam-Lay was kind enough to clear up the confusion via Twitter, letting the world know that the girl in question was named Rhea and that she was the newest member of N.E.R.D. Oh yeah, and that she’s dope! But just how dope is she? Is she good enough to make N.E.R.D. sell a milli and get Pharrell on MSNBC as a talking head? In other words, is she as good as Fergie? Keep reading for our comparison, then vote for your favorite token female…

SINGING
Fergie: Calling Fergie a singer would be akin to calling Sean Kingston a reggae artist. It’s a bit of a stretch. Maybe the crystal meth left her vocal chords burnt out or something, who knows. All we know is that she has the vocal range of a Mack Truck.

Rhea: We haven’t heard too much from this Berklee College of Music grad yet, but judging from her cover of Robin Thicke’s “Lost Without U” and “Choreographer”, the first single from her Clumanati Records debut , we’re gonna say she’s got Fergie beat.

WINNER: RHEA
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DANCING
Fergie: We can’t front, Fergie can get down. She’s no Shakira, but homegirl can move her hips something viscous. Too bad she’s wasting all that on Josh Douchemel.

Rhea: To be fair, we haven’t seen Rhea do much on stage besides jump around and look pretty. But she’s Guyanese, so we’re sure she can at least wine a likkle bit.

WINNER: FERGIE
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SEX APPEAL
Fergie: Despite having a face that, in the right (or wrong, rather) light, looks pretty haggard Fergie is somehow, undoubtedly sexy. Maybe it’s her style, her perfectly fit body, or her two’s. Or maybe it’s the fact that she gives off that “savage me” look. We can’t call it.

Rhea: Rhea is decidedly more attractive in the face, and has a sexy downtown chic steez—which is probably why Pharrell took a liking to her. But when she dresses up, it’s a wrap. No contest. Where as Fergie puts her freakiness on front street, Rhea has that lady in the streets, freak in the bed look going on. We like.

WINNER: RHEA
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POP POTENTIAL
Fergie: Seeing as how she’s already had three #1 singles and a triple platinum debut solo album, we think her pop potential has already been realized. It’s yet to be seen if she can recreate the success of The Dutchess, but we’re gonna go ahead and bet on white with this one.

Rhea: As talented as she is, there are two things working against her road to stardom. 1. She’s signed to DJ Clue’s Cluemanti label and 2. Pharrell’s track record when it comes to launching the careers of new artists is pretty damn horrible. She’d have an equal chance coming out on Tru Warrior records.

WINNER:TIE
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VALUE TO THE GROUP
Fergie: Being that we don’t know anyone in the group besides her and will.i.am, we’re gonna have to go out on a limb here and say she’s indispensable. Seriously, when was the last time you saw apl.de.ap or Taboo in the news? If one of them walked past you on the street would you know who they were? Didn’t think so.

Rhea: Since she just joined, it’s hard to say how important to the group she will be. But since Chad’s a mute, Pharrell can’t really sing (or rap) and we’re not sure what it is that Shay really does, it couldn’t hurt to have a talented vocalist in the group.

WINNER: TIE
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Interview by Grace Efuwape

CLIP #1: “NOBODY IN THE U.S. GOT A BLACKBERRY BOLD”
Kingston says: Yo, look how many views that got. That’s crazy. Yeah, that was a big issue. My chain didn’t get robbed. I had sent my assistant to send a package to my jeweler in New York. The jeweler even showed the security cameras to prove he never received the package. The assistant isn’t around anymore; I fired him. Like, why would you put $500 insurance on something worth $500,000? What part of the game is that? [Laughs.]

CLIP #2: “I’M A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUT OF HERE” SPENCER PRATT’S RAP DEBUT
Kingston says: Being on The Hills was great ’cause I had a blast with Audrina. We shot the scene when she was interning at the record label, Epic. I never ran into Spencer though. Oh, he’s rapping now? Look at this. His swag is…nah. He’s probably a cool dude but I don’t know about this. [Laughs] Spencer Pratt? Sounds like Kyla Pratt. I mean, Kyla Pratt can do a better job than him.

CLIP #3: “THE E.N.D. OF DAYS” BY IT’S THE REAL
Kingston says: Yeah I heard about the fight between Will.I.Am and Perez Hilton. [Laughs]. You saw the Spectacular video? [Laughs]. He did another video. Why would you do that? That makes people talk about it even longer. As soon as I saw it, I hit him up about it. He’s not gay. I know for a fact that he’s not gay ’cause he has a girlfriend. You ever been to a preview of his show before? They grind on the floor with their pants off like that all the time; nobody ever says nothing about that. On their last single on Late Night Special, they grinded with the same panties he had on. No homo. They grind on the floor and don’t nobody never talk about it but he does it on World Star and people wanna talk. That’s what he does [Laughs]. I mean, it’s not my direction but to each his own. I know he’s not gay though, I’ll tell you that. I don’t know about the Will.I.Am and Perez Hilton incident. I don’t really think that Will.I.Am’s manager did that and now Will.I.Am is saying it’s a fan.

CLIP #4: “VIDEO MODEL CALLS SEAN KINGSTON A GROUPIE”
Kingston says: Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it. Nah, there’s no side to the story. She’s a stalker. She’s the stalker. Her story is right but it’s the other way around. On the real though, I don’t wanna talk about that. I had a crazy stalker though. I had a girl that drove behind my tour bus on the Chris Brown tour. She was just crazy, just trying to get my autograph. Then I come back here to New York, this is about two years ago after going on 106 & Park to drop “Take You There” and I come back and she’s standing in front of my hotel. I don’t know how she knew where I was staying at. It tripped me up. I really don’t mess with groupies; I’m really focused. I guess [Chyna] is a groupie. Call her a groupie. [Laughs].

CLIP #5: “PASS THE DUTCHIE” MUSIC VIDEO FROM MUSICAL YOUTH
Kingston says: I love this. I wasn’t even born when this came out. These kids are how old? They look mad young and they singing about the Dutchie. I can understand if they were like 13, 14, or 15 years old but they were young.

CLIP #6: “BEAUTIFUL GIRLS” BY JOJO
Kingston says: I like it. Her version didn’t go nowhere. She’s beautiful though; I’d go out with her. I remember the rumor that I was going out with Paula Deanda but I only worked with her and that was it. I dig Jordin Sparks but she’s linked up already. I think Meagan Good is on a whole ‘nother level than Megan Fox. That girl is gorgeous from head to toe. I idolize her every time I see her. There is nothing wrong about that girl. That girl is B-E-A-U-TI-FUL, toes and everything. [Laughs.]

CLIP #7: ELEPHANT MAN AND BUJU BANTON FREESTYLE WITH TIGGA
Kingston says: I like Elephant Man. Tigga can rap; he’s dope. [Laughs.] He was killing it when he used to freestyle in the Bassment at Rap City. Yeah, that was tight. Tigga did his thing. Elephant Man took it. He killed it though. He switched it up; sped it up. I like that. That was real nice.

No, we’re not linking to any of this, because it’s fucking stupid. And then this morning, will.i.am’s manager Polo Molina apparently turned himself in to police. All of which is to say, since we have the only legitimate take on this story, we’re gonna do you the solid of relaying the entire post-brawl imbroglio as it went down**. Technology: at first you think it’s awesome, then it goes and gives us something like this….

perezhilton oh my god you guys

perezhilton oh. muh. GUH. i’ve been BRUTALLY SAVAGED. by SAVAGES.

perezhilton will.i.am is a THUG and he HIT me. in my EYE.

perezhilton i can see the booboo right now in one of the many mirrors i carry around with me at all times to make sure that the shaved lines and/or highlights in my hair remain subtle and artful and don’t have the effect of making me look like an angry fat woman who scrapbooks to distract herself from her sad life!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton man, stfu. i just followed you out of the club to see if you’d want some of these Target coupons we got. 20% off smedium t-shirts and innocuous hooks! boom boom pow!

perezhilton GET AWAY FROM ME WILL.I.AM! YOU’RE A THUG AND YOU DREW BLOOD FROM MY FACE WITH YOUR MANAGER’S HAND!
perezhilton in all my years of doing this, drawing semen dots on people’s faces has never resulted in my catching an eye jammie!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton that’s not an eye jammie, man. what is this, Wreckx-N-Effect and Q-Tip in ’92? My manager was just swatting a fly away.

fergilicious @iamtherealwill awwwww snap! u told him maing!

fergilicious @prerezhilton u got LUMPED UP, ni**a!

perezhilton @fergilicious …huh?

fergilcious LMBAO!

iamtherealwill @fergilcious quiet down, baby. remember what daddy said about being a good white girl.

fergilicious *roger rabbits*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton tell ‘em what you called me, man.

perezhilton @iamtherealwill what?! i called you a faggot. so? i can DO that! CEASELESSLY BAITING PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE LIBELOUS MATERIAL IS NOT GROUNDS FOR VIOLENCE. IT’S JUST SILLINESS! I’M HARMLESS AND CATTY AND SILLY AND HILARIOUS AND MY SCHTICK NEVER GETS OLD!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton you’re lucky my man Taboo ain’t jump in that ass. right, Taboo?

taboo …

perezhilton YOU SHUT UP TOO TABOO OR I’LL DRAW SEMEN DOTS ON YOUR FACE NEXT!

taboo *does Easter Island statue impression*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton Yeah son! Black Eyed Peas is too strong to be divided by your fuckery!

apldeap That’s right fam! Apl de Ap is in the building!

SteveJobs *sends apl de ap cease & desist letter*

apldeap Scratch that! Non-Trademarked Personal Computr de Comp is in the building!

perezhilton someone call the police! i don’t know what else to do or how to get in touch with them! sent from Twitterberry, which if you weren’t too busy overreacting to notice is only available on a PHONE