#10: “Backyard BBQ” Kenny Segal f/ Aceyalone, Abstract Rude, Nocando, Busdriver, Dr. Oop
Leave it to the backpackers to make a song about an actual BBQ.

#9: “I’m A Thug” Trick Daddy
Trick Daddy has taught us a lot of things. One being a BBQ ain’t a BBQ unless there’s two or more girls at the pool. Silly us.

#8: “Country Grammar” Nelly
We would have loved to put the “Tip Drill” video on this list, but the grill was taken off set as it was taking up valuable ass-shaking space.

#7: “Thug Devotion” Mo Thugs
Who said thugs can’t let loose? They like to do all the things you like to do. They just do them with an ice grill and a heater nearby.

#6: “Slow Motion” Juvenile
Leave it to Juve to churn out a wholesome, feel good video for one of the best club songs of the past decade.

#5: “Fantastic Voyage” Coolio
We bet you $5 you’re going to hear this song at least once this weekend. If you don’t, please email: shitsandgiggles@complex.com

#4: “I Get Around” 2pac
For this Shock G assisted hit, Pac rocked with the simple formula: BBQ + Girls + Pool = Awesome.

#3: “Growing Pains” DTP f/ Scarface
There’s nothing like crew love. Back when Luda was fun to listen to and we actually thought the members of DTP would release good albums, they dropped this soulful summertime banger.

#2: “Summertime” DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Before he became Mr. Fourth of July and got jiggy, Will Smith created the quintessential summer anthem. (Jim Jones’ “Summer in Miami” notwithstanding, of course.)

#1: “Nothin’ But a G Thang” Dr. Dre f/ Snoop Doggy Dogg
Chronic and chicken go together like The Game and crying. A little sharkin’ here and there never hurt nobody, either.

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Check out how some of fashion’s heavyweights'like Yves Saint Laurent, Gucci, and Salvatore Ferragamo'are tackling the trend, and then vote on whether you HUMP or DUMP the style…

YVES SAINT LAURENT

GUCCI

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO

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But just because you’re bound to piss away two hours of your life that you’ll never see again doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to ease the pain. We’ve studied the five schlockiest flicks of this holiday season to help prepare you for the cinematic torture. Read on for our tips on surviving Marley & Me, Bedtime Stories, Doubt, Revolutionary Road and Seven Pounds…

MARLEY & ME
Jen Aniston+Owen Wilson+cute dog=Old Yeller x Mad About You (a.k.a. another argument for assisted suicide)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your girlfriend
SYNOPSIS: Milquetoast white couple adopts puppy as baby substitute; said pup is adorably destructive and hijinks ensue; couple has kids; pooch grows up with family then shuffles off to canine heaven and waterworks ensue
RUNNING TIME: 115 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Commence heavy petting each time Marley chews up a couch
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BEDTIME STORIES
Adam Sandler is a doofus everyman (typecasting alert!)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your niece and nephew
SYNOPSIS: Hotel janitor (Sandler) tells fanciful bedtime stories to his niece and nephew; stories start to come true; janitor uses this for his own sinister purposes (i.e. giving Keri Russell a wax and buff)
RUNNING TIME: 99 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Smoke weed. (note: NOT with your niece/nephew.)
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DOUBT
Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep realized they’d been in halfway interesting flicks lately (okay, just Hoffman) and decided to get back in touch with their boring movie base.

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your “touchy” uncle
SYNOPSIS: Nuns suspect a priest has molested the only black altar boy in a Catholic school & spend the rest of the flick trying to find out if he touched it or not
RUNNING TIME: 104 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Slap your uncle every time he reaches for the popcorn in your lap
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REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Titanic minus the near-nude Kate Winslet and the boat sinking (i.e. the two scenes that made that movie worth watching)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your older sister with the unfulfilled literary aspirations
SYNOPSIS: Suburban couple in 1950s Connecticut yearn for a more bohemian existence. Seriously, people spend 10 bucks to see this shit.
RUNNING TIME: 119 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Smoke Xanax.
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SEVEN POUNDS
Will Smith’s semi-annual tearjerker bid for an Academy Award. Can somebody please give homeboy a fucking Oscar so we can get Bad Boys III already?

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your mother
SYNOPSIS: IRS agent with a death wish (redundant?) looks for seven strangers to donate body parts/possessions to. Eff a spoiler alert.
RUNNING TIME: 118 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Tell moms the spoiler while you’re waiting in line and convince her to see The Wrestler instead

This Friday, the voluptuous Rosario “they should spell her name with DDs” Dawson returns to theaters in the ambiguous new Will Smith movie, Seven Pounds. (We’d give her seven pounds'eight, if we concentrated really hard and thought about Linda Tripp.) Millions of people will watch anything the Fresh Prince is in, but she’s the reason we’ll pay to see it (especially because we still have no idea what the hell the movie is about, even after repeat viewings of the extremely vague trailer).

Rosario has been killing it since she was 15 and launched her career in the Larry Clark filth film Kids. The Puerto Rican/Cuban/African-American/Irish/Native American dime is a natural fit for multi-culti Complex (we gots the slash on smash, y’dig), so it’s about time we asked: Is she wifey or is she trifey?

Click here to see the evidence and to cast your vote!

The rumored Oldboy project won’t be the first (or last) time that a Korean flick has gotten the ol’ Hollywood whitewash. Luckily for you, we at Complex are certified Korean cinema experts. Here’s a look at American remakes of Korean movies from the past, present and future.


Korean Movie: Yeopgijeogin Geunyeo (2001) (a.k.a. “My Sassy Girl”),
dir. Kwak Jae-young
Plot: A hapless college student falls in love with a pretty psycho-bitch with a traumatic past.
Remake: My Sassy Girl (2008), dir. Yann Samuell
Starring: Jesse Bradford and Elisha Cuthbert
Verdict: The O.G. broke South Korean box office records; the American adaptation was a straight-to-DVD brick, apparently because U.S. audiences couldn’t buy the concept of a loser emasculating himself to win a girl’s heart. Maybe they should’ve kept the female lead as Korean?

Korean Movie: Siworae (2000) (a.k.a. “Il Mare”), dir. Lee Hyun-seung
Plot: Two would-be lovers communicate through a magical mailbox.
Remake: The Lake House (2006), dir. Alejandro Agresti
Starring: Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock
Verdict: Koreans are experts at melodrama and the carbon-copy U.S. remake is no more cheesy or manipulative than the O.G. Still, replacing sexy “Sassy Girl” starlet Jeon Ji-hyun with Sandra Bullock definitely kills the mood.

Korean Movie: Janghwa, Hongryeon (2003) (a.k.a. “A Tale of Two Sisters”),
dir. Kim Ji-woon
Plot: Two sisters rebel against their wicked stepmother in this ghost story.
Remake: The Uninvited (out 1/30/2009), dir. Charles and Thomas Guard
Starring: Emily Browning, Arielle Kebbel and Elizabeth Banks
Verdict: The trailer for the remake features none of the O.G.’s atmospheric horror and creepiness, instead looking like a straightforward scarefest. Boo.

Korean Movie: J.S.A: Joint Security Area (2000), dir. Park Chan-wook
Plot: When a South Korean patrol guard kills two North Korean soldiers in the DMZ, an international official is sent in to investigate.
Remake: Joint Security America (no release date), dir. David Franzoni
Starring: May we suggest: Gael Garcia Bernal, Tom Hanks and Natalie Portman
Verdict: The remake, which plans to substitute the U.S.-Mexico border for the DMZ zone, actually sounds like a pretty cool idea. But the fact that the script has been on ice for so long is not a good sign. The O.G., which is Oldboy director Park’s first major film, is definitely worth Netflixing.

Not sure how he figured that leap of logic out, but it did get us thinking: if Captain America was black, that would change his origin story in a bizarre way. Specifically, the Super Soldier program could be seen as some ill Tuskegee Experiment ish, politicizing the story in a whole new way. And if a black Cap fucks your head up, what if other Marvel characters changed races? Let’s examine the possibilities…

BLADE
New Race/Nationality: Puerto Rican
Possible Casting: John Leguizamo
Hilarious Stereotype: Knife-related skills

New Origin Story: Instead of being a whore’s son from 19th-century England, Enrique Brooks was just a juvenile delinquent from San Juan who derived his abilities after being caught in a nuclear test off the coast of Vieques. Though not half-vampire anymore, he does hold a black belt in Puerto Rican judo. Oh, judon’t know?

GAMBIT
New Race/Nationality: Chinese
Possible Casting: Jackie Chan
Hilarious Stereotype: Poker skills

New Origin Story: A childhood spent in the casinos of China’s Macau region gave Remy Li Bo superhuman card-throwing skills, and an early job as a restaurant delivery boy somehow gave him telekinetic abilities. His unexplainable Cajun accent still creeps people out, though.

MAGNETO
New Race/Nationality: Palestinian
Possible Casting: DJ Khaled
Hilarious Stereotype: Freedom fighting, extremist views

New Origin Story: Tariq al En-Shar discovered his abilities on the internet, after he clicked on a mystery link he found on 72coaleyedvirgins.org. Now, he’s issued a fatwa: Death to The Great Non-Mutant Satans! Also, he enjoys needlepoint and maintaining his “Cuddly Critters” stuffed animal collection.

BLACK PANTHER
New Race/Nationality: White
Possible Casting: Christian Bale
Hilarious Stereotype: Impotent rage, walking like there’s a ramrod up his ass

New Origin Story: Reading news accounts of John Walker Lind, the privileged-white-boy-turned-Al-Qaeda-member, made Stanley “T’Challa” Worthington IV realize there was more to live for than golf, sailing, and repressed sexual underperformance'so he turned to a life of vigilante justice. With just a few breaks for squash down at the country club.

SHE-HULK
New Race/Nationality: Dominican
Possible Casting: Dania Ramirez
Hilarious Stereotype: Green eyes, thunder thighs, def body

New Origin Story: A childhood diet of Similac in Washington Heights gave Jennifer Alvarez her curves, and years of dealing with philandering boyfriends gave her highly attuned senses of both rage and jealousy. Trust, you might not want to get her angry, but you’ll love the make-up sex.

ANT MAN
New Race/Nationality: Australian
Possible Casting: Russell Crowe
Hilarious Stereotype: Alcoholism, anger management, wife-beating

New Origin Story: After blacking out in the lab after too many tankards of Foster, Hank Pym wakes up to find that he’s discovered size-altering properties of Pym Particles. Now it’s jumbo shrimp on the barbie for him!

THE SKRULL
New Race/Nationality: Japanese
Possible Casting: The Teriyaki Boyz
Hilarious Stereotype: Endlessly mimicking other cultures

New Origin Story: After 20 years of freakishly emulating rappers, rockabilly musicians, and Jamaicans, the Skrull finally went after the subculture they’d been unable to crack: mutants. Next stop, laying waste to Gwen Stefani’s 2009 tour!

You’re probably wondering why we’re showing you this image of what looks like a burnt corpse on the streets of Manhattan. It's from a new vampire movie being filmed called “I Am Legend” starring, who else, but Will Smith. It won't be out for a bit, but then again who's in a rush to see anything Will Smith is starring in lately? Plus it’s a bit unrealistic since you’re chances of being bled by a NY’er far outweigh the threat of a vampire.