We’ve never really thought of Sasha Grey as wifey material. Maybe it’s those 150-plus movies she’s made where guys with elephantitis of the dong degrade her for money. Yes, it’s difficult to imagine a porn star as our boo, but ever since we saw her in a real acting role, playing a prostitute in Steven Soderbergh’s art film The Girlfriend Experience, we’ve wondered if she might actually be someone worth showing the ring too (and we’re not even talking about the one that keeps us fully engorged).

Granted, playing a high class whore isn’t that big a stretch for Sasha, but at least she didn’t get choked out by any monster cocks. It’s a step in the right direction, so Complex is willing to give her a shot or two (and a chance to vie for the title of wifey!). Check out the arguments for both sides and help us decide if Sasha Grey deserves to walk the aisle in an off-white gown…


WIFEY?
Sasha is a serious actress. No really. Even before The Girlfriend Experience, she tackled important issues and put a mirror up to people’s faces. If not for her films, how would we know about the perils of smoking (Throat: A Cautionary Tale), the evils of corporate malfeasance (Face Fucking, Inc.) or the environmental impact of gas guzzling (Cum Fart Cocktails 5)?

TRIFEY?
We’ll accept that she can really act if she ever plays a character who doesn’t have sex for money. Unlike Sasha, when a dude is pinching her nose and making sweet love to her esophagus, we’re not holding our breath. Speaking of which, will Sasha ever be able to produce tears without a dog leash and something to gag on? Meryl Streep she’s not.

Until recently, there would have been no doubt in our minds that Natalie Portman is wifey material. She’s a smoking hot Harvard grad who makes good money acting and has both a sense of humor and a genuine concern about sociopolitical issues. Then we heard those trife-licious rumors that our Israeli dream girl is the reason Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright are getting divorced with two kids in the balance. Deep thinkers that we are here at Complex, we had to sit and reevaluate Natty P on some scholarly shit. Check out the evidence, then help us decide if she gets the ring or the fling…


WIFEY?
• Two wifey musts: She’ll shave if role playing calls for it, and she’s got that good skull.

TRIFEY?
• When we watched young Natalie looking for love with older men in The Professional and Beautiful Girls we were secretly turned on figured that was superb child acting. Now that the 27-year-old minx has allegedly broken up 48-year-old Penn’s marriage, it appears those “performances” may have their roots in real daddy issues. We’d give her a “timeout” and a stern talking to if we didn’t think she’d love it.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE EVIDENCE AND VOTE!

Two-time Complex cover model Cassie keeps it right and keeps it tight. We of course refer to the right side of her head, which she recently shaved for either self-expression or, according to rapper and celebrity hairstyle expert Fabolous, cheap publicity. The look isn’t for everyone, and neither is Cassie. Word on the gossiping-ass streets is that she and her boyfriend, entertainment mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs, are crazy in love and may soon marry.

Personally, Complex would hate to have her legally off the market, but if Puff makes her happy, damn him, er, so be it. But before dude pops the question, we had to put our homegirl to the wifey/trifey test to see if she really is marriage material. Here’s to hoping she’s not—until she realizes she’s meant to be with us, that is. Hit the jump to read the wife/trife evidence and to cast your vote…


WIFEY
We love a woman who’ll spontaneously shave. Especially if she’s willing to wear a schoolgirl outfit.

TRIFEY?
Her single “Official Girl” was about a “fictional” side piece who wants to be wifed up. It definitely had nothing to do with rumors that Cassie was mic-checking her current boyfriend Diddy while he was still married to Kim Porter.

CLICK NEXT SEE MORE EVIDENCE (AND MORE PICS OF CASSIE!)

Kelly Clarkson didn’t ask viewers if she looked fat in her outfit when she appeared on American Idol last week to sing “My Life Would Suck Without You,” but America was kind enough to answer yes. After the show, the Internets started a rumor that Clarkson is pregnant (on stage, she told Ryan Seacrest that she’s not currently dating anyone; a record label rep has since said that the rumor is false). Thanks for making a girl feel good about herself, America.

Still, the thought of Clarkson knocked up got us to wondering if she’d make a good wife’assuming you’re one of those saps who marries the woman he impregnates (if we lived by that code, we’d have to move to Utah and buy a bigger house). Check out the cases for Kelly Clarkson being a wifey and a trifey and cast your vote to determine which she is…


WIFEY?
• Nobody wants an insecure chick who’s constantly complaining about how fat she is. Clarkson’s parents raised her to be proud of her curves, so she’s cool with being big boneded. Which is good, considering the enormity of our manhood.

TRIFEY?
• She’s already got that “I’ve been wifed up five years” thickness about her. And with her Greek genes, it won’t be long before we’re looking back on these as her petite years.

High Priestess of the Church of Scientology Katie Holmes is shedding pounds, and sadly they’re not the 115 pounds that are her tiny lunatic husband, Tom Cruise. Holmes has appeared gaunt recently, as noted by the highly respected physician gossipmongers at Fox News here. The exact cause of her dramatic weight loss is not known. Is she crying out for help, having realized she’s trapped in a cult and married to a cult leader? Is she attempting to flush evil thetans out of her bodily temple? Is she getting set to star in The Machinist II: The Regurgitation?

Holmes is one half of the craziest couple in Hollywood but that doesn’t necessarily mean her coconut is cracked. Perhaps Cruise is just so crazy he makes her look 7:30 too? Maybe there’s still a workable wifey underneath all the insanity? Read the arguments as Complex puts Holmes to the wifey/trifey test and vote to decide if she’s a lost cause or a prize find…


WIFEY?
Holmes never had “birthing hips,” but her body is capable of reproducing. OK, maybe not in it’s current skeletal state. It’s not like we’d actually want to make a fire with those sticks anyway.

TRIFEY?
Tom Cruise is 16 years older and several inches shorter than Holmes is. We’re not saying that his millions or his power in the alternate universe of Scientology seduced her, but hey, we’d bang him for that kind of security…What? Dude gets points on the back end!

Spanish stunner Penélope Cruz struck gold yesterday at the 81st Annual Academy Awards, taking home the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Vicky Christina Barcelona. In the Woody Allen film, she steals the show as María Elena, Javier Bardem’s suicidal and psychotic ex-wife.

It’s not the first time Cruz has played an unstable woman who causes problems for the man in her life, and since we at Complex find it difficult to separate cinema from real life, we’ve been wondering if Cruz might really be an unbalanced trifey type. The only way to know for sure is to put her to the Wifey/Trifey test. Check out the evidence on both sides and cast your vote to determine her fate…


WIFEY?
She’s currently dating her Vicky Christina Barcelona co-star Javier Bardem, who is a sophisticated Spanish gentleman (if you disregard the photo above). Clearly she has good taste in men. Not that we look at attractive, strapping dudes like that or anything…

TRIFEY?
Before Bardem, Cruz dated outspoken Scientologist Tom Cruise, her co-star in Vanilla Sky. Now, we might be able to shrug off a casual fling with a nut like him, but she was with him for a couple years, and after that much time she officially qualifies as a high priestess/concubine for Xenu, alien ruler of the Galactic Confederacy. We’re not sure we want to invade her space anymore.

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Shakira! The Colombian singer, who turns 32 today, has been working on her next album. Shots recently surfaced on the Internet of her in the studio with the Neptunes’ Pharrell Williams. Shots also appeared on our desktop of Shakira’s semi-nude hips gyrating. Soon after, shots also appeared on the inside of our trousers.

Though her music is hit or miss for us, we absolutely want to hit the Colombiana of Italian, Spanish and Lebanese descent. But there are some things about her that make us think we might just want to hit and quit. So, Complex decided to give Shakira the best gift she’ll get today'the privilege of possibly being rated official wifey material on our fine site. Check out the arguments for wife and trife status and cast your vote to determine her eternal fate!


WIFEY?
With a reported IQ of 140, Shakira has brains to match her buns. She’s a native Spanish speaker, is fluent in English, Portuguese and Italian and also speaks a little Arabic. Plus she enjoys reading about the history and culture of the places she travels to. It’s always nice to know that your junk will never be the smartest thing to come out of her mouth.

TRIFEY?
Her discography includes Oral Fixation, Vol. 1, Oral Fixation, Vol. 2 and live recordings from her Oral Fixation Tour. Chances are you’re the only person left on Earth who hasn’t experienced her oral.

CLICK NEXT SEE MORE EVIDENCE AND VOTE!

Though it was quite possibly the worst film ever thanks to boyish Leonardo DiCaprio and the vocal stylings of Celine Dion, Titanic gets a pass for introducing the world to young British actress Kate Winslet in 1997. An all-natural beauty who has eschewed Hollywood (big fake tits and bigger blockbusters) for actual acting cred and a relatively normal life, the 33-year-old mother of two is still floating our boat. Her tide is rising higher still in 2009, as she’s been winning awards left and right for her work in The Reader and Revolutionary Road.

Now Complex bestows upon her the even greater honor of being sized up in a Wifey or Trifey showdown. Check out the case for both and cast your vote to determine of she’s a do-right woman or just going down like she struck an iceberg.


WIFEY?
They are real. And they’ve got Oprah’s approval.

TRIFEY?
Winslet comes from a family of convincing liars actors. But sure, when she tells you that she didn’t enjoy kissing Leonardo DiCaprio and that she called you “Leo” in bed because, like a lion, you’re king of her jungle of love, you can definitely trust her.

Complex knows you’re counting down the days to Friday, when Kate Hudson’s latest romantic comedy Bride Wars opens. The estrogenic flick'which costars not-so-anal Anne Hathaway'is about…well, you don’t really give a fuck what it’s about, but your chick is gonna force you see it anyway. Even though the movie is guaranteed to cause several incidences of domestic violence, at least you can stare at Hudson’s sexy ass for 90 minutes or so (pray it’s only that long).

We could do without most of her movies, but we’ve had a thing for this sunny blonde California girl ever since she made it seem OK to be a groupie slore for a rock band in Almost Famous. There are many reasons why the daughter of Goldie Hawn should be absolutely trife, but Hudson has always seemed pretty damn cool, so Complex digs deep, so deep (so deep we put her ass to sleep) to determine if she actually is wifey material.

Click here to see the evidence and vote!

This Christmas, the holiday spirit we’re trying to get into is Eva Mendes. Though we’re not particularly interested in The Spirit, her new comic adaptation directed by novice filmmaker and old comic coke head Frank Miller, we’ll go see her play Sand Saref on Jesus’ b-day just so we can spend the holiday with the Cuban-American queen. Mendes first reeled us in by going fully nude in Training Day, but other than that she’s been in some real trash (Exit Wounds, All About the Benjamins, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Ghost Rider, etc.).

Still, we can’t help but love her for being funny and naked so damn much (two things we really love in our ladies, and you can guess the third). Before The Spirit’s Christmas release, Complex unwraps Eva Mendes in Wifey or Trifey, so read on and decide if she qualifies as a chick to bring home for the holidays.

Click here to see the evidence and to cast your vote!

This Friday, the voluptuous Rosario “they should spell her name with DDs” Dawson returns to theaters in the ambiguous new Will Smith movie, Seven Pounds. (We’d give her seven pounds'eight, if we concentrated really hard and thought about Linda Tripp.) Millions of people will watch anything the Fresh Prince is in, but she’s the reason we’ll pay to see it (especially because we still have no idea what the hell the movie is about, even after repeat viewings of the extremely vague trailer).

Rosario has been killing it since she was 15 and launched her career in the Larry Clark filth film Kids. The Puerto Rican/Cuban/African-American/Irish/Native American dime is a natural fit for multi-culti Complex (we gots the slash on smash, y’dig), so it’s about time we asked: Is she wifey or is she trifey?

Click here to see the evidence and to cast your vote!

Last year, we learned that the 25-year-old Ecuadorian/Puerto Rican lady was locked down by young Robert Kardashian, who the racy photos were apparently intended for. It’s a nice gesture for your man, but after seeing the tattoo on her culo, we can’t help but wonder if Adrienne really is more wife than trife.

Click Here to see the evidence and cast your vote…

And of course there’s a big question facing both Complex staffers and readers alike: is this chick a base-energizing wifey or a triflin’ hockey MILF?

Click here to see the evidence and cast your vote…