Does Sasha Grey get the ring or just the pearl necklace?
We’ve never really thought of Sasha Grey as wifey material. Maybe it’s those 150-plus movies she’s made where guys with elephantitis of the dong degrade her for money. Yes, it’s difficult to imagine a porn star as our boo, but ever since we saw her in a real acting role, playing a prostitute in Steven Soderbergh’s art film The Girlfriend Experience, we’ve wondered if she might actually be someone worth showing the ring too (and we’re not even talking about the one that keeps us fully engorged).
Granted, playing a high class whore isn’t that big a stretch for Sasha, but at least she didn’t get choked out by any monster cocks. It’s a step in the right direction, so Complex is willing to give her a shot or two (and a chance to vie for the title of wifey!). Check out the arguments for both sides and help us decide if Sasha Grey deserves to walk the aisle in an off-white gown…
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Natalie Portman—homemaker or home-wrecker?
Until recently, there would have been no doubt in our minds that Natalie Portman is wifey material. She’s a smoking hot Harvard grad who makes good money acting and has both a sense of humor and a genuine concern about sociopolitical issues. Then we heard those trife-licious rumors that our Israeli dream girl is the reason Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright are getting divorced with two kids in the balance. Deep thinkers that we are here at Complex, we had to sit and reevaluate Natty P on some scholarly shit. Check out the evidence, then help us decide if she gets the ring or the fling…
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Should we wife Cassie or not? Can we sleep on her it?
Two-time Complex cover model Cassie keeps it right and keeps it tight. We of course refer to the right side of her head, which she recently shaved for either self-expression or, according to rapper and celebrity hairstyle expert Fabolous, cheap publicity. The look isn’t for everyone, and neither is Cassie. Word on the gossiping-ass streets is that she and her boyfriend, entertainment mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs, are crazy in love and may soon marry.
Personally, Complex would hate to have her legally off the market, but if Puff makes her happy, damn him, er, so be it. But before dude pops the question, we had to put our homegirl to the wifey/trifey test to see if she really is marriage material. Here’s to hoping she’s not—until she realizes she’s meant to be with us, that is. Hit the jump to read the wife/trife evidence and to cast your vote…
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Kelly Clarkson isn’t pregnant, but she thanks you for noticing she’s put on some pounds.
Kelly Clarkson didn’t ask viewers if she looked fat in her outfit when she appeared on American Idol last week to sing “My Life Would Suck Without You,” but America was kind enough to answer yes. After the show, the Internets started a rumor that Clarkson is pregnant (on stage, she told Ryan Seacrest that she’s not currently dating anyone; a record label rep has since said that the rumor is false). Thanks for making a girl feel good about herself, America.
Still, the thought of Clarkson knocked up got us to wondering if she’d make a good wife’assuming you’re one of those saps who marries the woman he impregnates (if we lived by that code, we’d have to move to Utah and buy a bigger house). Check out the cases for Kelly Clarkson being a wifey and a trifey and cast your vote to determine which she is…
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Katie Holmes can be wifed, as long as Xenu is present to watch over the ceremony.
High Priestess of the Church of Scientology Katie Holmes is shedding pounds, and sadly they’re not the 115 pounds that are her tiny lunatic husband, Tom Cruise. Holmes has appeared gaunt recently, as noted by the highly respected physician gossipmongers at Fox News here. The exact cause of her dramatic weight loss is not known. Is she crying out for help, having realized she’s trapped in a cult and married to a cult leader? Is she attempting to flush evil thetans out of her bodily temple? Is she getting set to star in The Machinist II: The Regurgitation?
Holmes is one half of the craziest couple in Hollywood but that doesn’t necessarily mean her coconut is cracked. Perhaps Cruise is just so crazy he makes her look 7:30 too? Maybe there’s still a workable wifey underneath all the insanity? Read the arguments as Complex puts Holmes to the wifey/trifey test and vote to decide if she’s a lost cause or a prize find…
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Is Penélope Cruz una esposa or una trifey-osa?
Spanish stunner Penélope Cruz struck gold yesterday at the 81st Annual Academy Awards, taking home the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Vicky Christina Barcelona. In the Woody Allen film, she steals the show as MarÃa Elena, Javier Bardem’s suicidal and psychotic ex-wife.
It’s not the first time Cruz has played an unstable woman who causes problems for the man in her life, and since we at Complex find it difficult to separate cinema from real life, we’ve been wondering if Cruz might really be an unbalanced trifey type. The only way to know for sure is to put her to the Wifey/Trifey test. Check out the evidence on both sides and cast your vote to determine her fate…
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Shakira is uncut Colombian dope.
¡Feliz cumpleaños, Shakira! The Colombian singer, who turns 32 today, has been working on her next album. Shots recently surfaced on the Internet of her in the studio with the Neptunes’ Pharrell Williams. Shots also appeared on our desktop of Shakira’s semi-nude hips gyrating. Soon after, shots also appeared on the inside of our trousers.
Though her music is hit or miss for us, we absolutely want to hit the Colombiana of Italian, Spanish and Lebanese descent. But there are some things about her that make us think we might just want to hit and quit. So, Complex decided to give Shakira the best gift she’ll get today'the privilege of possibly being rated official wifey material on our fine site. Check out the arguments for wife and trife status and cast your vote to determine her eternal fate!
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Assess Kate Winslet.
Though it was quite possibly the worst film ever thanks to boyish Leonardo DiCaprio and the vocal stylings of Celine Dion, Titanic gets a pass for introducing the world to young British actress Kate Winslet in 1997. An all-natural beauty who has eschewed Hollywood (big fake tits and bigger blockbusters) for actual acting cred and a relatively normal life, the 33-year-old mother of two is still floating our boat. Her tide is rising higher still in 2009, as she’s been winning awards left and right for her work in The Reader and Revolutionary Road.
Now Complex bestows upon her the even greater honor of being sized up in a Wifey or Trifey showdown. Check out the case for both and cast your vote to determine of she’s a do-right woman or just going down like she struck an iceberg.
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Kate Hudson is the naked truth.
Complex knows you’re counting down the days to Friday, when Kate Hudson’s latest romantic comedy Bride Wars opens. The estrogenic flick'which costars not-so-anal Anne Hathaway'is about…well, you don’t really give a fuck what it’s about, but your chick is gonna force you see it anyway. Even though the movie is guaranteed to cause several incidences of domestic violence, at least you can stare at Hudson’s sexy ass for 90 minutes or so (pray it’s only that long).
We could do without most of her movies, but we’ve had a thing for this sunny blonde California girl ever since she made it seem OK to be a groupie slore for a rock band in Almost Famous. There are many reasons why the daughter of Goldie Hawn should be absolutely trife, but Hudson has always seemed pretty damn cool, so Complex digs deep, so deep (so deep we put her ass to sleep) to determine if she actually is wifey material.
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Eva Mendes is the key ingredient to a Cuban sandwich.
This Christmas, the holiday spirit we’re trying to get into is Eva Mendes. Though we’re not particularly interested in The Spirit, her new comic adaptation directed by novice filmmaker and old comic coke head Frank Miller, we’ll go see her play Sand Saref on Jesus’ b-day just so we can spend the holiday with the Cuban-American queen. Mendes first reeled us in by going fully nude in Training Day, but other than that she’s been in some real trash (Exit Wounds, All About the Benjamins, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Ghost Rider, etc.).
Still, we can’t help but love her for being funny and naked so damn much (two things we really love in our ladies, and you can guess the third). Before The Spirit’s Christmas release, Complex unwraps Eva Mendes in Wifey or Trifey, so read on and decide if she qualifies as a chick to bring home for the holidays.
Click here to see the evidence and to cast your vote!
