Politics & Crime A Brief History of White Girl Drug Dealers

This past Tuesday, former mountain biking world champion Melissa “Missy” Giove was arrested when nearly 400 pounds of marijuana was seized from her truck and home outside of Saratoga Springs New York. We feel for you, Missy. But how did you get caught? White girl drug dealers are never supposed to get caught: the cops let you get past road blocks, you’re rarely suspected for more than accessory, and you kill it because everyone would rather buy drugs from a nice-smelling, soft woman than some sketchy dude in a back alley who sweats a lot. Well, on second thought, Missy doesn’t look so soft or particularly nice-smelling. Did we mention she’s a mountain biker?

But there are a bunch of white girl drug dealers who do look mad soft and nice smelling that we’ve got love for. Hit the jump for Our Five Favorite White Girl Drug Dealers, both real and imagined…