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Stephon Marbury’s 10 Craziest Moments

justinm — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:48:02 +0000

And starting at point guard for the NBA crazy all-stars…Stephon Marbury!

Assuming that anything posted on Stephon Marbury’s Twitter page is sane and to be believed, twinkle-twinkling Starbury is set to float off into the cosmos of retirement. Monday night, with a lot more ellipses, he posted, “Done. Forever. Blessings. Basketball is just a game. I will say it again. 14 years 250 million. Hold that. I’m good. Thank you jesus for the blessing. Thanks NBA.” The word is that he wants to pursue television and web opportunities, which means we probably haven’t seen the last of his him. Still, his special brand of lunacy won’t be coming to a court near you, so Complex puts ten of his craziest moments up to remember the weirdness that was.

Date: 2005
What Marbury did: Had sex with an MSG intern in the back seat of his SUV after meeting her at a Mount Vernon strip club, where she was celebrating her birthday with other interns.
Why it’s crazy: The pickup line “Are you going to get in the truck?” got his tip wet.

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Date: July 1, 2007
What Marbury did: While interviewing with Bruce Beck on Mike’d Up, he appeared drugged and/or mentally unstable, making completely incoherent statements, breaking out out into dance, answering his cell phone on air, and referring to his wife as his “better ho.”
Why it’s crazy: We were under the impression that when you put a ring on it a woman officially becomes your best ho.

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Date: July 17, 2007
What Marbury did: Told the New York Post he’d play in Italy when his NBA contract was up because his wife enjoyed visiting the country. He compared the move to international soccer icon David Beckham signing with the L.A. Galaxy so he and his wife Victoria “Posh Spice” could go Hollywood.
Why it’s crazy: Italy doesn’t grant work visas to loons from other countries who mistake themselves for global icons.

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Date: August 20, 2007
What Marbury did: Expressed support for admitted dog fighter Michael Vick, telling Albany TV station Capital News 9 that he thinks it’s hypocritical that hunters can kill other animals for sport and it’s OK but #7 gets prison time for participating in what Steph hears is a sport, “just behind closed doors.”
Why it’s crazy: Lunacy smells like raw meat to underfed dogs.

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Date: November 12, 2007
What Marbury did: When he learned that coach Isiah Thomas was benching him, Steph confronted him 30,000 feet in the air, then reportedly told teammates: “Isiah has to start me. I’ve got so much shit on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can fuck me. But I’ll fuck him first. You have no idea what I know.”
Why it’s crazy: You can’t blackmail someone after you’ve just publicly blown up their spot and lost a sexual harassment suit for them.

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Date: July 2008
What Marbury did: Tattooed the Starbury logo on the side of his head.
Why it’s crazy: Making affordable basketball sneakers was noble, so we understand his pride as a entrepreneur and spokesman, but putting the brand’s logo on his head right before the exclusive retailer files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy is a about 75 cents short of a dollar.

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Date: December 16, 2008
What Marbury did: Banned from attending Knicks practices and games until the team could get him to agree to a contract buyout and send his ass packing, Steph bought a courtside seat to see them play the Lakers in Los Angeles and make things uncomfortable.
Why it’s crazy: He paid waaay too much attention to the game to be sitting that close to the court in L.A.

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Year: July 24, 2009
What Marbury did: Began broadcasting his life 24/7 on the live stream website Justin.tv.
Why it’s crazy: A day in the life of Starbury involves stripper dancing topless (even if it wasn’t to “Barbie Girl”), crying to Kirk Franklin, and eating Vaseline (to help the crazy pills go down).

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Year: August 13, 2009
What Marbury did: After TMZ.com posted a video that appeared to show Steph smoking weed while being chauffeured, he told the site that he does indeed get high occasionally because he’s not under contract.
Why it’s crazy: He’s not under contract. Nor will he be until the Humboldt County Crazy Highs become an NBDL team.

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Winding Down: Jaime King Is the Jewel In the Crown

complex — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:30:43 +0000

Sin City’s Jamie King is a queen in our book. [Horny Oyster]

Stick to your thoughts with Message Tape. [Uncrate]

Stick on eyes let you doze off at work or on that late subway ride. [Neatorama]

Lipstick knife is sharp and sweet. [Nerd Approved]

Japanese Siphon Bar Brews Zen Coffee For $20K

sethk — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:30:58 +0000

Behold the one and only halogen-powered siphon bar in the United States. The owner of the Blue Bottle Cafe in San Francisco imported the device from Japan’s Ueshima Coffee Company at a cost of over $20 grand (no news on how much Blue Bottle charges per cup). Each globe brews one cup at a time and requires a brewmaster to carefully turn the coffee grounds with a bamboo paddle to create a siphon of water vapor into the pot. The true story here? If you ever feel like hunting coffee nerds for sport, you know where to start looking.

[Source]

Cubans Crazier Than Peruvians, But Not As Much As Saudi Arabians

complex — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:30:15 +0000

Last week we took a glimpse at the Bomberos of Peru and thought they were hardcore. But then this short clip surfaced of some crazy Cubans skitching in the rain with nothing more than their feet on wet roads, forcing us to reconsider the road warrior title. That was, until we remembered just how loony these guys were in their sandals. No contest!

Bomberos In Peru Take Skitching To All New Levels

complex — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:30:13 +0000

We’re sorry, but not even the fastest street luge or downhill longboard race has got anything on these road warriors:

In PerÃº, kids called Bomberos (firemen) hitch rides on homemade karts to the top of a 1,000 meter mountain, and then ride back down with the help of gravity, delivering food, drinks, and spare parts to broken and stranded trucks.

[Source]

Winding Down: Letting It All Hang Out

complex — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 23:30:09 +0000

Pam Anderson doing what she does best: showing her breasts in Vegas. [Hollywood Tuna]

A truly puzzling but retro cool subwoofer. [Gearfuse]

Being able to pop one of these limited edition white gold bottles of Dom without flinching is our New Year’s resolution. [Bornrich]

You sick of your dog chewing your prized possessions? Affix a cell phone on vibrate around its collar and call when naughty. [Afflicted Yard]

The Most Horrifying Movie Trailer of the Year For Men

complex — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 21:00:02 +0000

A couple months ago this trailer hit the YouTubes and sent every man running for the hills. At first we thought the Onion was getting into the business of movie making, but then read up and realized this was going to be an actual theatrical release in 2008. It’s called Teeth and it explores the worst collective nightmare of all MANkind: vagina dentata. If you didn’t have the great pleasure of viewing it then, we rehash it now for year ending purposes. Coming January 18!

Winding Down: Freakishly Titillating

complex — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:30:32 +0000

Abi Titmuss looks sexy no matter what, but what’s with the eerie child molester lookalike in the background? [Horny Oyster]

Further proof that the suburbs suck. [Core77]

Karl Lagerfeld eats? Cake? [Likecool]

Buffalo flash drive is perfect for backing up and storing all your porn. [Engadget]

Stuntman Flips His Lid, Hopefully Truck Too

complex — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 22:40:06 +0000

We don’t care what you have planned for New Year’s Eve, chances are it’s not as crazy as this. In an act of sheer lunacy that would even make Evel Knievel proud'God rest his soul'thrill seeker Rhys Millen plans on executing a backflip in his off-road racing truck. He’ll be driving off of a specially built jump that, assuming everything goes right, should send him into flip mode. Besides having balls made of solid steel, this jump will require perfect timing. This ‘Red Bull Experiment’ will be attempted during ESPN’s No Limits broadcast on New Year’s Eve. Although Red Bull has gotten us to do some crazy shit, at least we had a good excuse, ours had vodka in it.

[Source]

Power Up With Super Mario’s Energy Drink

complex — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:00:28 +0000

With Super Mario Bros. holding so much cultural cache for 80’s babies and older school hardcore gamers alike, it’s no wonder that everyone’s favorite fearless plumber got molested and tapped for an energy drink. Plus with gamers needing a substance to keep awake after spending ungodly hours in front of their LCD’s who better to rely on then a speed freak icon like Mario. The man who can singlehandedly whip King Koopa’s ass is now the face of a new “blue-raspberry” flavored energy drink. With mushroom in hand, the Red Bull sized can, carries the implicit warning “Product not intended for children,” but judging by the kid friendly graphics, they can’t be all that concerned. We ain’t! $2.95, www.gkworld.com

[Source]

On A Wing and A Prayer

complex — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:30:51 +0000

Yeah this dude looks freaking ridiculous! But what else can you expect from a guy who plans on jumping from a helicopter, rocking this tight fitted Batman-like perversion? This wing suit, that mimics the natural aeronautics of a flying squirrel, offers freakishly insane thrill seekers with an alternative to base jumping and boring ol’ free-falling. Instead of just dropping out of the sky and eventually pulling a rip cord, these guys attempt to ~~glide~~ fly back to a snowy mountainside runway. Sure it sounds absolutely insane, but we’ll have to admit, after watching this video of the “Flying Dude,” we’re thoroughly convinced this is about as ballsy as it gets, even when rocking a full length, skin tight skirt.

[Source]

Fake Superheroes Give Real Life Beat Down

complex — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 20:30:17 +0000

Just when we were talking about the Joker, we stumble upon this ‘Superhero’ clip. According to Wikipedia, a superhero is:

A fictional character “of unprecedented physical prowess dedicated to acts of derring-do in the public interest.”

And although these costume clad guys might be lacking in actual “super powers,” both the Dark Knight and the Web Slinger do a good job of giving this heckler a crowd encouraged thrashing. Watch and listen as the mob of mostly kids, gawks as the loud mouth gets slapped around prompting one mom to warn: “The police are on their way Batman.” Blam!

Bathroom Drunks Used To Discourage Drunk Driving

complex — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 17:45:13 +0000

At first glance this might look like a typical, drunken, Last Night’s Party-styled bathroom photo shoot but it’s not. This is actually part of an “I’m fine to drive” ad campaign that features various young-ins passed out, throwing up (with thong showing), and keeled over with t-shirt slogans like:

“I just need to get it out of my system.”
“I’ll sober up when I’m behind the wheel.”
“I’ve driven home like this hundreds of times.”

Whether or not these will actually thwart drunk driving is anybody’s guess, but it’s guaranteed to give those same life taking drunks a damn good laugh before they, god forbid, drive home drunk.

[Source]

Woman Pool Player Uses Unfair Method To Hustle

complex — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 21:30:51 +0000

We don’t know if we should excited or mortified by this girl’s freaky abilities.

Are Moby’s Group Emails A Barometer For His Insanity?

complex — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 20:37:30 +0000

This Moby spam was received today at around 11:30AM and in it we learn that “Mopey” doesn’t like snow that sticks, owns sneakers with no treads, attends Art Basel, and most importantly that he doesn’t ‘need’ to eat, but does so anyway.

is it going to snow?
i like nyc snow when it falls and doesn’t stick or when
it sticks for a minute and then melts by 10 a.m.
i might like snow more if my sneakers had treads.
this week i’m talking about myself endlessly to european journalists
and rehearsing and dj’ing thursday here in nyc and saturday in miami
and performing at the guggenheim friday, so i’m sorry
if i’ve been a slow email responder man.
i need to eat.
ok, maybe not ‘need’. but it would be nice to eat.
tell me what you’re doing this week?
mopey.

No punchline needed!

Zany Photographer Takes Us ‘Behind the Fetish’

complex — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:40:46 +0000

Being that we’ve been on a bit of an art kick today, might as well keep the momentum going. We stumbled upon the website, Behind the Fetish, featuring the work of Keith Allen Phillips and it’s kept us thoroughly entertained. The dirty minded photographer who loves to play with girls, Barbie dolls, and little army men has some pretty bizarre fantasies that we’ll happily indulge. Plus anyone who promises to “hunt you down and stab you in the neck with a rusty spork!” should you steal his images is A-ok in our book. Check out some of the photos he’s done and the behind the scenes, sometimes that’s where the real action is.

[Source]

Winding Down: Drive You Crazy!

complex — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:30:35 +0000

Paparazzo gets what he deserves from Britney Spears. [IDLYINW]

Here’s a great way to entertain annoying co-workers. [Techeblog]

Scotland frowns upon men having sex with their bicycles. [Dlisted]

Concept boat looks like an X-Wing fighter or a flying fish, you decide. [Techdigest]

Winding Down: Pole Position

complex — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:30:17 +0000

Paris Hilton is back to her slutty old self again. [Egotastic]

Never worry about drinking warm beer again with this device. [Gizmodo]

Robotic suitcase stalks you, purposefully. [The Raw Feed]

Montana is so boring they argue about “urban chickens.” [Boingboing]

Asian Girl Dances To Her Own Tune

complex — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:28:51 +0000

Although the dip shit who uploaded this video claims “this is a good example of why you shouldnt use drugs like ecstasy,” we disagree. This is exactly why you should use drugs like ecstasy. Not to mention coke, meth, and any other stimulant inducing drug that will cause women to dance like freaks in the street. We just can’t see the downside.

Throw Your Moneygami Around

complex — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 22:33:50 +0000

Just when you thought that folding U.S. currency was just for 9/11 conspiracy buffs and Loose Changers, these people take it a whole new level. But don’t expect burning buildings and fortune telling, this is just “superb dollar bill origami.” In addition to making familiar characters, the actual imagery on the bill was also utilized to create faces and other features. And although this might be a bit of a stretch, doesn’t this image above kind of resemble Futura’s famed Unkle character?

[Source, via]