Big B.O. plunked down millions and millions to buy up a half-hour of time on three of the four major networks (ABC said maybe, then they said yes, but then it was too late. Get on board, you waffling sad sacks!), hoping to close the deal with the American public. We can’t say we’re all that amped about watching what is essentially an Obama infomercial, but then, who are we to judge what makes for compelling political advertising? Scratch that: we’re exactly the people to judge what makes for compelling political advertising, which is why we scraped up some of the weirdest examples we could find…


POLITICIAN: Christy Minos (Independent candidate for governor of Massachusetts)
AD: “Heads Up”
PLOT: You know how you sometimes call people “asshat”? And you know how you like cartoons? This is like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for those two things.

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POLITICIAN: H. Ross Perot
AD: His 1992 infomercial
PLOT: Third-party upstart and batshit-crazy billionaire tycoon Perot bought a half-hour of network time to…show us some charts. Two good things came out of it: 1) he helped Clinton get elected; and 2) he says “A great young lady from Louisiana sent me this voodoo stick, and I’m going to use it as my pointer tonight.”

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POLITICIAN: Ralph Nader (third-party candidate for president…again)
AD: “To Be or Not to Be”
PLOT: Ralph Nader talks to a parrot. Polly wanna cracker? He must, since the dude did more than anyone to put Bush in office in the first place.

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POLITICIAN: Mike Huckabee
AD: “Chuck Norris Approved”
PLOT: When you’re the only remotely likable GOP presidential candidate, your only logical move is to time-travel back to 2006 for a web meme. “My plan to secure the border? Two words: Chuck. Norris.”

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