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Grand Theft Auto IV’s Aluminum Bat Is A Hit!

We had to laugh when we read a recent article about the recent Grand Theft Auto “Hot Coffee” lawsuit. Parents who were upset about an unlockable sex scene in San Andreas didn’t seem to mind that in the game itself, you could roam around and—among multitudes of other murderous acts—beat innocent bystanders senseless with baseball bats. Priorities, people.

Which brings us to the latest schwag sent from the Rockstar massive to promote Grand Theft Auto IV—that’s right, a real-life, aluminum bat. We’ve received all sorts of GTA IV-related goodies like T-shirts, stadium-style fan fingers, and a model of the Statue of Happiness, but nothing beats an actual weapon. As long as these kids don’t get a hold of it, that is. See some video of Niko swinging his bat (pause) in GTA IV below.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Video Games That Should Be Turned Into Porn Movies

Japan keeps on making it, we keep on taking it. Leave it to the Japanese to innovate the new dawn of adult film—the video-game-adapted porno. After reading on Kotaku about an X-rated movie version of the DS game Brain Age (emphasis on BRAIN), we got to thinking about what current video games would translate into skin flicks. See our porno video game list after the jump.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Tackle An Ogre In The Blood Bowl

Sure, we enjoy the realism and life-like graphics of today’s sports games, but sometimes you’ve got to think outside the boundaries. For a fresh take on the football genre, Blood Bowl lets you play a bone-crushing version of the game with ogres, elves, orcs, dragons and a slew of other fantastic characters.

Set in medieval times, Blood Bowl gives your teams the chance to battle it out—literally—in all different types of environments. It should be available on Xbox 360, PSP, and Nintendo DS late this year. Watch the new trailer after the jump.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Madden NFL Cover Stars Converge

Although the Madden Curse often leaves pro footballers on the injured list, past cover athletes like Daunte Culpepper, Marshall Faulk, Ray Lewis, Shaun Alexander and Vince Young were all smiles at Electronic Arts press conference-turned-party last night for Madden 09. To read a detailed run down of the event and see some flicks (including the roster of PlayStation models) click HERE.

[Das Gamer]

Popularity: 26% [?]

Alone In The Dark Takes Central Park

You might think that NYC’s Central Park is one of the happiest places in the city, but…you would be wrong. According to the new Alone In The Dark video game, an evil is lurking beneath the Manhattan park, and it’s ready to turn all of us into blood-thirsty maniacs.

Before it took over New York, Alone In The Dark was one of the first horror survival titles, producing four haunted house-related games between 1992 and 2001, along with a truly terrible movie adaptation in 2005 (we’re still waiting on that Christian Slater comeback). The new version looks to reinvent the franchise with its urban setting and wildly realistic gameplay. As the game’s protagonist, supernatural detective Edward Carnby, you have to fight your way through a slew of possessed creatures using MacGyver-like weapons made from everyday objects in order to unravel the secrets of the Park. The game comes out today, so check out a few videos below.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Star Wars Stages Wii Lightsaber Duels

Ever since Jar-Jar Binks came close to fucking up the entire franchise in 1999, Star Wars has been slowly redeeming itself. To support the August release of the new Clone Wars animated movie and TV series, LucasArts is releasing two video games. One, for Nintendo’s portable DS, will be called Jedi Alliance, while another for the Wii will be called Lightsaber Duels.

The Wii version is especially exciting, since the system’s motion-sensing controller was clearly built for wielding the old ’saber in a realistic fashion. Both games will continue the franchise’s new look, sticking with the 3D CGI animation of the upcoming film and series. The Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels doesn’t come out until December, but the first trailer was just released. Watch it after the jump.

Popularity: 33% [?]

Win A Command & Conquer 3: Kane’s Wrath Prize Pack

Command & Conquer—no, not what the Celtics just did to L.A., but the name of EA’s award-winning real-time strategy franchise. You may not be well-versed yet about the Tiberium Wars and the Brotherhood of Nod, but Kane’s Wrath, the latest console edition of C&C, will quickly bring noobs up to speed.

The game starts shipping on Monday, but we have our hands on two prize packs that you can win before the title hits your local GameStop. Each prize pack comes with a copy of the game for Xbox 360, as well as assorted game-related goodies like a talking Kane bobblehead doll, shirts, hats, cups, and more. Find out how to win one after the jump.

Popularity: 39% [?]

Pick Up The Portable Atari 7800

Mod God Ben Heck is back at it. After setting the ‘Net on fire with seemingly impossible Frankenstein builds like the XBOX 360 and Playstation 3 gaming laptops, he’s returned with another how-the-hell-did-he-do-that mod: a portable version of the Atari 7800 game system.

No longer intimated by “complex-looking” electronics, Ben decided to tackle Atari’s 8-bit console from 1986 by shoving all the internals into a handheld that weighs less than a gallon of milk. The 7800 Portable sports a 7 inch screen, analog and digital directional pads, built-in rechargeable batteries and an A/V output jack in case you want to play Pole Position II on the plasma. After the jump, watch Heck explain how he made the portable Atari work.

Popularity: 41% [?]

‘Hail To The Chimp’ Wants Your Vote

If you thought the 2003 California Recall Election was a zoo, you ain’t seen nothing yet. In the new Xbox/PS3 game Hail To The Chimp, the whole animal kingdom is competing for the throne.

After the former King, the Lion, is involved in a scandal, the rest of the animals decide to give democracy a try. The objective is to win the votes of the little people, represented by the Clams. Along the way, you compete in a series of mini-games—from putting up posters to smashing poll machines—that help you rack up votes. The multi-player game is perfect for parties or online play, letting you join up with other players to form unbeatable alliances. Hail To the Chimp drops next week, so check out a few trailers below.

Popularity: 45% [?]

Playing Video Games With Your Brain

It looks like the days of using a hand-held gaming controller may be over, thanks to this EEG headband that allows humans to control characters by using their brainwaves.

The headband was developed by scientists at the Keio University in Japan as a tool for disabled or paralyzed people. After strapping on the headband, subjects made a character in the popular Second Life game walk around using only their thoughts as commands. The team at Keio U have some kinks to work out before the headband can be mass produced, but could be the future of gaming. Watch a video of the headband being used below.

Popularity: 51% [?]