PEOPLE OF WAL-MART
Pitch: A group of people who shop at Wal-Mart ironically while on road trips take their detached snobbery to the next level by photographing people who shop at Wal-Mart because the retail behemoth shut down every other affordable option in town. Sample dialogue: “Lookit that guy who got diabetes because fatty foods are cheap and plentiful! Hey buddy, crippling poverty called; IT WANTS ITS MULLET BACK! *high fives*”

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GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD
Pitch: Jon Cryer walks around talking to the walls. Budget: one hidden camera. Cheapest show evar.

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SNACKS AND SHIT
Pitch: Hip-hop scholars, i.e., the two guys who start punching people in the face whenever “Jump Around” comes on at their frat parties–laugh and laugh and laugh about rappers who say the darnedest things. Special appearances by celebrity hip-hop purists Kendra Wilkinson and Kevin Federline.

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POST SECRET
Pitch: Anonymous people admit their deepest fears and most shameful confessions. Narrated by no one, since the only people self-absorbed enough to—wait, no, Tyra Banks just called. She’ll do it.

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LAST NIGHT’S PARTY
Pitch: National Geographic correspondent Lisa Ling takes the L train into Williamsburg (or the F to the LES, depending) and walks around with a cameraman filming people who are really really really fucking extra. That’s it. Guaranteed ratings gold, people.

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KANYE UNIVERSECITY
Pitch: Like Charlie’s Angels, except Charlie is really Kanye West sitting around on uncomfortable furniture that his friends told him about, and the Angels are bony French models who can only say “where are you, Yeezy?”

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STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
Pitch: Hosted by Ryan Seacrest and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, it’s a lighthearted exposé about what grafted devils like to do when they’re in their native habitat. It’s hilarious because it’s true! ONLY white people eat organic food! ONLY white people ride bikes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DO YOU GET IT WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO LAME THERE ARE YOU HAPPY IS THAT SELF-DEPRECATING ENOUGH GET AWAY FROM ME MUD PEOPLE!

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CUTE OVERLOAD
Pitch: Widdle kitties and widdle puppy dogs fall asweep in the cwaziest pwaces, set to the strains of ’80s pop tunes so that chubby housewives can relive their high-school days and distract themselves from their stultifying depression in one fell swoop.

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F MY LIFE
Pitch: A sitcom featuring affable twentysomethings trading i-swear-this-is-true stories of humiliating oneupsmanship. AKA “This Never Happened, But Could You Imagine If It Did? Wowzers!”

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HOT CHICKS WITH DOUCHEBAGS
Pitch: Wait a second, this already exists. Thank you, Viacom, for taking a joke about how desperate shitty networks are scraping the bottom of the barrel and making it reality.

NAME: Stephanie Jacobsen
SHOW: Melrose Place
NETWORK/TIME: CW/Tuesdays @ 9 p.m.
• Anyone open for a little late-night dip in the Melrose Place pool? Anyone?

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE OF FALL’S HOTTEST TV STARS!

Tune in to Complex.com every morning at 8 AM for your daily “Wake N’ Watch” video.

[Hypebeast via Fanboy]

With all that she was able to accomplish, it was only right that pay homage. So in honor of Gidget’s long, celebrated life, we’ve decided to put together a list of TV’s best pitch animals…

Morris the Cat, 9Lives
• This finicky cat is the pitch animal for 9Lives cat food. He’s such a great actor that he even starred in Shamus, stealing the show from co-star Burt Reynolds. Morris has also “authored” three books: The Morris Approach, The Morris Method and The Morris Prescription. That’s one smart pussy.

Spuds MacKenzie, Bud Light
• Before the talking frogs, and even before the “whassup” guys, there was Spuds. Spuds MacKenzie, whose real name was Honey Tree Evil Eye, spent the ’80s hustling Bud Light until it was revealed that Spuds the dude was actually a bitch. No, really, Spuds was a girl.

Westie, Cesar Dog Food
• These cute commercials appeal mostly to women and highly effeminate men. All the same, the Westie of Cesar dog food is pretty successful at moving units of Top Sirloin Flavor with Meaty Juices (Ayo!).

Duke, Bush’s Best Beans
• The talking dog effect never fails. Duke, the golden retriever featured in Bush’s Best ads, is a prime example of how cute, fluffy animals can make you forget you’re eating decade old beans that taste like shit. Works for us.

Mister Ed, Studebaker
• Who’s Mister Ed? What’s a Studebaker? What were you born in 1980? Possibly the earliest and most classic example of a talking animal. We’d take ol’ Eddie over a used car salesman any day.

Hungry Dog, Beggin’ Strips
• Everyone loves these commercials with the dog who’s looking for bacon bacon bacon bacon. Here comes the real surprise: it’s not really bacon, it’s beggin’! But, don’t be surprised when your dog starts jonesin’ for some bacon and flips on you Man’s Best Friend style.

Chipper the dog, RCA
• Chipper the dog has embedded himself in pop culture as “that RCA dog who sits next to the old record player.” But since Chipper is supposed to be a puppy a new one gets swapped in every couple months, kinda like the hosts on “106 & Park.”

When Futurama returns to the boob tube in 2010, it may sound a little funny-style. 20th Century Fox TV is producing 26 new episodes for a mid-year cable run on Comedy Central, but talks have broken down with voice stars Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, and Tress MacNeille over money. Fox is trying to cut costs for the move to cable and has offered the cast less than they were hoping for, so don’t be surprised if Yakov Smirnoff ends up voicing all the characters on the cheap.

It wouldn’t be the first time a network pulled the okey doke on fans with replacement actors. Salary disputes, drug problems, thespian beef, and even the desire to get a college education (scandalous!) have all led to sudden, unexplained cast changes. Keep reading for the lowdown on some of television’s most memorable switcheroos with before-and-after photos included!

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Character: Vivian “Aunt Viv” Banks
Actors: Janet Hubert-Whitten (1990-1993), Daphne Maxwell Reid (1993-1996)
Reason for Recasting: Will Smith and Hubert-Whitten didn’t get along. According to her recent tell-all book, the Fresh Prince was actually spoiled and ruthless, demanding that nobody get bigger laughs than him on or off set. After she was fired, the mood on set lightened—word to Aunt Viv’s bleaching cream.

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Seinfeld
Character: Dad/Morty Seinfeld
Actors: Phil Bruns (1990), Barney Martin (1991-1998)
Reason for Recasting: Co-creator Larry David replaced Bruns after one episode because he felt Jerry’s dad should be more crotchety. Ironically, after the slept-on show became a huge success without him, Bruns was finally able to pull off “grumpy old man.”

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Adventures of Superman
Character: Lois Lane
Actors: Phyllis Coates (1951-1953), Noel Neill (1953-1958)
Reason for Recasting: When the show returned following a production suspension, Coates had already committed herself to another production—one that didn’t star a man in tights.

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Roseanne
Character: Becky Connor/Becky Connor-Healy
Actors: Alicia “Lecy” Goranson (1988-1992, sporadic appearances afterwards), Sarah Chalke (1993-1997)
Reason for Recasting: Goranson left to attend Vassar College, where she studied English with a concentration in poetry and played on the rugby team. It’s not as prestigious as Kanye’s “PhD” but still.

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Mad About You
Character: Gus and Theresa Stemple
Actors: John Karlen (1994-1995) and Penny Fuller (1994-1995), Carroll O’Connor (1996-1999) and Carol Burnett (1996-1999)
Reason for Recasting: We don’t know exactly why Jamie’s parents were swapped out, but when you have the opportunity to get with legends, you have to. At least that’s what we told our girl when we had the chance to get some Superhead.

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Arrested Development
Character: Marta Estrella
Actors: Leonor Varela (2003), Patricia Velazquez (2003-2004)
Reason: After a brief stint on the show, Varela left to shoot Innocent Voices, a film about a mother and son struggling to survive the war raging in 1980s El Salvador. We’d be mad at it had producers not promptly plugged in Venezuelan dime model Velazquez. ¡Bien hecho!

That ’70s Show
Character: Laurie Forman
Actors: Lisa Robin Kelly (1998–2003), Christina Moore (2003-2004)
Reason for Recasting: Kelly, who played Eric’s promiscuous older sister (a.k.a. the second coming of Kelly Bundy), was reportedly fired because of drug problems, which is a good thing, because the show continued to be straight crack!

The Jeffersons
Character: Lionel Jefferson
Actors: Mike Evans (1974, 1979-1985), Damon Evans (1975-1978)
Reason for Recasting: After playing George and Weezy’s son Lionel on the first season of the spin-off series The Jeffersons, Mike, who first appeared as the character on All in the Family, bounced to work as a writer/producer on Good Times. When that thoroughly DY-NO-MITE! show ended, he reclaimed the role like click-clack, gimme my shit back!

Bewitched
Character: Darrin Stephens
Actors: Dick York (1964–1969), Dick Sargent (1969–1972)
Reason for Recasting: York’s severe back condition kept “backing” up production, so producers went and found some new Dick, ’cause really, when you’ve seen one Dick, you’ve seen ‘em all.

My Wife and Kids
Character: Claire Kyle
Actors: Jazz Raycole (2001-2002), Jennifer Freeman (2001-2005)
Reason for Recasting: Raycole left after one season because her mom reportedly objected to a storyline in which Claire’s friend gets pregnant. Talk about your seeds of discontent!

Roger Sterling
PLAYED BY: John Slattery

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Pete Campbell
PLAYED BY: Vincent Kartheiser

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Harry Crane
PLAYED BY: Rich Sommer

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Don Draper (Casual Look)
PLAYED BY: Jon Hamm

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Don Draper (Dressy Look)
PLAYED BY: Jon Hamm

Parker Lewis Can’t Lose: Season One just hit DVD for the first time ever, so to get more bizarrely compelling moments like the one above, click here to cop the DVD set for $39.99. Oh, and before you make up your mind on the Parker Lewis vs. Ferris Bueller coolness battle, let’s not forget—Corin Nemec did get dissed by MF Doom. Seriously!

When news reporters hit the streets for live reports, they’re always vulnerable to public harassment. Cameras make people do stupid shit, and when you add alcohol and adrenaline to the mix, the stage is set for all kinds of on-air fuckery. The recent Spanish news clip of a soccer fan laying imaginary pipe to an unwitting reporter is just the latest example of a civilian manipulating a live news camera.

Whether out of anger, perversion or drunkness (or all three), on-air reporter attacks are always funny. That’s why we’re bringing you the best news-crashing moments on live television…


• Gay love > Wall St. crash.

• And she thought the “You guys know Apu?” joke would be a good icebreaker.

• Note how he dropped down and gave homegirl the shoulder lean.

• We thought you knew: Don’t fuck with the Hasids!

• You ever go drinking with a bunch of Australians? Never a dull moment.

• Sometimes you gotta side with the reporter. Sucks but dude got fired for this.

• Only George Michael would want to be accosted by this many drunken Englishmen.

• Dude was ready to start reenacting the first clip.

• The beauty of mob mentality…it’s funny with snowballs but when it’s a homeless dude getting beaten by skateboards? Well…still funny.

• Fast-forward to 1:14 for the good stuff. Is it any coincidence that most of these clips originate in the U.K.?

• She didn’t even miss a beat.

• You know that reporter is Lisa Evers from “Street Soldiers,” right? She probably shanked the dude off-camera.

• “Put that on the news!!!” Yeah, BITCH.

• The streets is hungry, kid! Protect your iPhone.

• Sometimes it seems like the news broadcasts actually want on-air fuckery to happen. C’mon, a live report on New Year’s Eve in Lake Tahoe? WTF you think is gonna happen?

• Anderson Cooper found this a little too funny.

• Last but not least: TELL THEM I SAID FUCK YOU!

That’s why we suggest flipping it the other way: make the geeks famous, and then watch as civilian women struggle with choosing between tertiary fame-by-association and..their natural instincts. Now that’s entertainment! Check out our round up of 5 sure-fire celebrity geek casting choices…

KANYE WEST
• Geek Status: Horrible taste in glasses, underbite (geek demerits for having it be the result of a horrific car accident rather than just needing orthodontia)
• Ideal Beauty: Judging from his lyrics and taste in porn, a bisexual blonde chick with giant titties. Also, given his legendary self-obsession, having no opinions and being made of mirrored glass would help.

MARK ZUCKERBERG
• Geek Status: Founded Facebook, third-grade haircut
• Ideal Beauty: Beautiful, brainy, familiar with computers'gotta go with a classic. Or, even better, our version.

CLIFF BLEZSINSKI
• Geek Status: Invented Gears of War, doesn’t realize the social repercussions of posing with a chainsaw gun he invented.
• Ideal Beauty: Let’s see, someone not turned off by a near-psychotic fixation with massacres…oh! Squeaky Fromme? At least she can’t run away…

NATE SILVER
• Geek Status: Thanks to his groundbreaking stat work with both Baseball Prospectus and his political site fivethirtyeight.com, has become a god both among sabermetrics geeks and rabid MSNBC viewers. Also, frumpy quasi-academic attire.
• Ideal Beauty: Rachel Maddow. But maybe, y’know, into guys.

MASI OKA
• Geek Status: Ivy League grad (and computer science major!), Asian. Don’t front, that’s automatic points! Unless you’re Steve Aoki, in which case you’re just a dirtbag.
• Ideal Beauty: For his sake, we vote for a threesome with Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere. It’s cool, we don’t mind him taking our sloppy seconds.

And…it’s two white girls we’ve never heard of. All good, though; it’s not like they needed someone to play Michelle Obama or anything. So now Abby Elliott and Michaela Watkins are about to have their moment in the spotlight'but who are they? Read on to find out…

MEET: ABBY ELLIOTT

• Comedy Cred: Being Chris Elliott’s daughter.
• Where You’ve Seen Her: Upright Citizens Brigade, King of the Hill (okay, one episode. Sue her.)

A reel of her many characters and impressions. We vote for the Drew Barrymore:

As Angelina Jolie in a SoCo ad. Yeah, we’d smash:

MEET: MICHAELA WATKINS

• Comedy Cred: A member of L.A. sketch troupe (and SNL cast factory) The Groundlings.
• Where You’ve Seen Her: The New Adventures of Old Christine (yeah, us either), guest spots on Californication, Grey’s Anatomy, and Frank TV (yeah, us either).

In a Folger’s commercial spoof. Now that’s advertising we can get behind:

If you haven’t been following this season of The Challenge, past Real World/Road Rulers are stuck on an island with little food, and amenities like shitty showers and scarce toilet paper supply. The only thing that’s abundant? The roster of hotties that populate the island. Drunken hook-ups, free-spirited boning, and enough fake twos crackalactatin’ to make Coco feel inadequate are constants on the show. With the season finale airing tonight at 10 p.m, we wanted to showcase all the eye-candy and see who you think the hottest chick in the game is. Browse ‘em and vote below…

COLIE

What You Should Know About Her: On this challenge she’s calmed down, but during her regular season of Real World Denver, she said “For President Bill Clinton, oral sex is not sex, and I take all of my sexual advice from Bill Clinton.” Coincidence her mouth is open in this pic? We think not.

JOHANNA

What You Should Know About Her: She hasn’t proved herself during physical challenges, but has managed to stick around because she’s boning one of the head-honcho’s on the island, Kenny. She’s been accused of f’ing her way to the top, and for the most part, seems okay with it. Classy.

ASHLI

What You Should Know About Her: She’s been relatively tame this challenge, but during her stint on The Real World Sydney, she threatened to snitch on a dude who used her as a jump off to his girlfriend. Sammy The Bull-ass trifey.

PAULA

What You Should Know About Her: This former anorexic girl is a YES women. She does whatever the guys of the island say to stick around. Self-esteem issues are never something to play around with, but now that she got fake twos, we’re thinking she’s DTF. Plus she’s eating more, and we’re proud of her.

RACHEL

What You Should Know About Her: She’s a full-blown lezzie who has got hotties like Jen (see below) to switch sides on this challenge. Her features are tough, and she may or may not have a Johnson.

TANYA

What You Should Know About Her: She’s always the most hated (word to Jae Millz) on every challenge, and usually ends up going home first in any type of vote-off situation. This an obvious plus if you’re looking to hit-and-quit.

ROBIN

What You Should Know About Her: She cries the most out of any cast member, and is always the front runner for drunken hook-ups which is a yin and yang type deal. Also, from a girth standpoint, she has the best titties on the island.

KELLYANNE

What You Should Know About Her: Since Sydney, she’s got a brand new pair of funbags, and the facial features are on point. Her only downfall is she dated Cohutta, a wannabe cowboy who treats girls great, ruining any type of dick-headism for the rest of us.

JENN

What You Should Know About Her: She’s hooked up with Rachel, and has said that she’s a beautiful person. She isn’t fully lesbian though, so you could use her just so you can run around rapping “My girl got a girlfriend.”

EVELYN

What You Should Know About Her: She doesn’t take shit from any of the guys, and is probably top 3 most athletic on the island (dudes included). If you were always looking for a chick to arm wrestle with, she’s your joint.

Big B.O. plunked down millions and millions to buy up a half-hour of time on three of the four major networks (ABC said maybe, then they said yes, but then it was too late. Get on board, you waffling sad sacks!), hoping to close the deal with the American public. We can’t say we’re all that amped about watching what is essentially an Obama infomercial, but then, who are we to judge what makes for compelling political advertising? Scratch that: we’re exactly the people to judge what makes for compelling political advertising, which is why we scraped up some of the weirdest examples we could find…


POLITICIAN: Christy Minos (Independent candidate for governor of Massachusetts)
AD: “Heads Up”
PLOT: You know how you sometimes call people “asshat”? And you know how you like cartoons? This is like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for those two things.

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POLITICIAN: H. Ross Perot
AD: His 1992 infomercial
PLOT: Third-party upstart and batshit-crazy billionaire tycoon Perot bought a half-hour of network time to…show us some charts. Two good things came out of it: 1) he helped Clinton get elected; and 2) he says “A great young lady from Louisiana sent me this voodoo stick, and I’m going to use it as my pointer tonight.”

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POLITICIAN: Ralph Nader (third-party candidate for president…again)
AD: “To Be or Not to Be”
PLOT: Ralph Nader talks to a parrot. Polly wanna cracker? He must, since the dude did more than anyone to put Bush in office in the first place.

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POLITICIAN: Mike Huckabee
AD: “Chuck Norris Approved”
PLOT: When you’re the only remotely likable GOP presidential candidate, your only logical move is to time-travel back to 2006 for a web meme. “My plan to secure the border? Two words: Chuck. Norris.”

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE BIZARRE CAMPAIGN COMMERCIALS

WHO: British sketch comedians Matt Lucas, 34, and David Walliams, 37, who met as teenagers at England's National Youth Theatre

WHAT: Five-year-old BBC comedy show featuring Lucas and Walliams playing a variety of characters, including a baby-swapping juvenile delinquent, a transvestite bag lady, and an able-bodied wheelchair user. The American spin-off on HBO features guest appearances by 
Paul Rudd, David Schwimmer, and Rosie O'Donnell, among others.

CHARACTER ASSASSINATION: Walliams: “We've got a bunch of new characters. There's baby Ellie Grace and her mom, who say cutesy things to each other, like 'I love you more than rainbows.'” Lucas: “I love you more than penises.”

CULTURE CLASH: Walliams: “The characters in British comedy are losers, and we're invited to laugh at them. There are very few British comedians who can claim to be cool. You couldn't imagine someone with the glamour of a Chris Rock.”

BACK ISSUES? Walliams: “It's the British characters coming to America, but it's like the first sketch we've ever done. There's nothing you need to know about these characters to enjoy it.” Lucas: “And if you already enjoyed the show, this works as Season 4. If you haven't already, it works as Season 1.”

Watch clips from the show below…

Click left and right on the video player to see more Little Britain USA clips.

Photo Shown Above: Ben Watts/Corbis Online

While many former cast members have gone on to make great comedies and achieve success, others weren’t built for stardom and failed miserably. Check out seven SNL alums whose careers Poehler should avoid at all costs. Pay attention, Andy Samberg.


HORATIO SANZ (1998-2006)
We were totally gay for Boat Trip but everything he's touched since he left SNL has gone straight down the shitter.

JIM BREUER (1995-1997)
His career went from Half Baked to fully burnt quicker than a Hot Pocket in hell.

VICTORIA JACKSON (1986-1992)
Her Christian comedy and children's songs are fine, but thanking President G.W. Bush (sincerely) for doing a “great job” makes her a failure as a human being.

TIM MEADOWS (1991-2000)
In his defense, there are so many successful black actors to compete with in Hollywood.

JOE PISCOPO (1980-1984)
One thing we can say about his post-SNL filmography'Dead Heat is definitely the best zombie-criminals-meet-zombie-cops action-comedy ever!

ROB SCHNEIDER (1990-1994)
See, you can make a career out of holding onto Adam Sandler’s pocket.

CHRIS KATTAN (1996-2003)
He should’ve recognized Corky Romano as the best thing that would ever happen to him. Other than Sunset Tan cameos.

But until that happens, we’ve dug deep into the most fecund veins of crackaness–the South, country music, intoxication, lack of teeth, and unskilled labor–to run down the ten redneckest shows we could find.

Grab your banjo, there’s good pickins ahead…

Which, if you ask us, is a good thing. There’s just something about a set of fangs and an insatiable appetite for man’s most vital fluid that ratchets up the sexy.

If you don’t believe us, peep some of our favorite female vampire moments…