Katie Holmes can be wifed, as long as Xenu is present to watch over the ceremony.
High Priestess of the Church of Scientology Katie Holmes is shedding pounds, and sadly they’re not the 115 pounds that are her tiny lunatic husband, Tom Cruise. Holmes has appeared gaunt recently, as noted by the highly respected physician gossipmongers at Fox News here. The exact cause of her dramatic weight loss is not known. Is she crying out for help, having realized she’s trapped in a cult and married to a cult leader? Is she attempting to flush evil thetans out of her bodily temple? Is she getting set to star in The Machinist II: The Regurgitation?
Holmes is one half of the craziest couple in Hollywood but that doesn’t necessarily mean her coconut is cracked. Perhaps Cruise is just so crazy he makes her look 7:30 too? Maybe there’s still a workable wifey underneath all the insanity? Read the arguments as Complex puts Holmes to the wifey/trifey test and vote to decide if she’s a lost cause or a prize find…
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Is Penélope Cruz una esposa or una trifey-osa?
Spanish stunner Penélope Cruz struck gold yesterday at the 81st Annual Academy Awards, taking home the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Vicky Christina Barcelona. In the Woody Allen film, she steals the show as MarÃa Elena, Javier Bardem’s suicidal and psychotic ex-wife.
It’s not the first time Cruz has played an unstable woman who causes problems for the man in her life, and since we at Complex find it difficult to separate cinema from real life, we’ve been wondering if Cruz might really be an unbalanced trifey type. The only way to know for sure is to put her to the Wifey/Trifey test. Check out the evidence on both sides and cast your vote to determine her fate…
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Vanessa Hudgens blurred the line between wifey and trifey. [LINK]
We dropped our November cover story with model Marisa Miller. [LINK]
…And our cover story with Tracy Morgan and Chris Mintz-Plasse. [LINK]
We made hating Brett Favre so easy. [LINK]
JONES! hooked us up with his mini-video for “Day N Night.” [LINK]
And From The Complex Network:
Nah Right: Trick Trick and Eminem asked “Who Want it?” [LINK]
Bastardly: Rihanna and Justin Timberlake went to rehab [LINK]
KicksOnFire: Bapestas Went Metallic [LINK]
Das Gamer: Guitar Hero got a really expensive axe to grind [LINK]
On Smash: Kardinal Offishall & Keri Hilson dropped “Numba 1″ [LINK]
Nice Kicks: Nike's bringing back the Cortez in '09 [LINK]
