You don’t have to be a construction worker to wear these dope Fall jackets from Carhartt. [Daily Drop]

Just like Tony Romo, Nick Lachey doesn’t want Jessica Simpson back either! [PopCrunch]

The women of Mad Men are super sexy. [Coed Mag]

Check out real hot girls here if you didn’t get enough of them over the weekend. [Double Viking]

Sex or money? See what women would really choose. [Flisted]

Kid Cudi dropped the tracklisting to his album. [Nah Right]

Make sure a divorce is really worth it if you don’t have a pre-nup. [Holy Taco]

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has reportedly broken up with his girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. His fans have reason to be excited—not because Romo will have more free time to flirt with heavily perspiring male groupies, but because she distracted him from his pursuit of a Super Bowl ring.

Since bagging Simpson in 2007, the once promising #9 has crapped the bed when she was in attendance, caused controversy by taking a vacation with her before a playoff game that he lost, and missed the playoffs entirely, putting up three turnovers and zero touchdowns in a 44-6 blowout loss in the final, must-win game of the 2008 regular season. Not that we blame dude; if we were Romo, the only route we’d have on our mind is the one leading directly to her milk duds.

Now that Romo’s a free man, we expect he’ll have a career resurgence. Why? Well, for one, he couldn’t play much worse than he did in that last stinker. Besides, there’s a history of athletes whose performance suffered because of a woman, and they usually get back on track once they drop their dimes. Read on below to see what we mean…

Andre Rison and Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes, ‘94

Before: Rison pulled down 86 receptions for 1,242 yards and 15 touchdowns in the 1993 season before beginning his stormy relationship with Left-Eye.

During: The Falcons Wide Receiver saw his stats begin to slide as things heated up in ‘94. Rison had 81 receptions for 1,088 yards and 8 touchdowns.

After: Rison would spend the ‘95 season with the Browns and make 47 receptions for a meager 701 yards and only 3 touchdowns.

Girlfriend Effect? Things got a little hot for Rison when Left-Eye burned down his house and broke up with him. Then again, you try studying your playbook (a.k.a. Madden) after it’s been melted.
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Andre Agassi and Brooke Shields, ‘97-’99

Before: Andre took home an Olympic gold at the Atlanta Games in ‘96.

During: ‘97 would prove to be the low point in both Agassi’s career and his marriage to Shields. Agassi spent the year suffering from a wrist injury and saw his world ranking plummet from no. 1 in ‘95 to no. 141 in ‘97.

After: After breaking free from Shields, Agassi returned to tennis court domination. ‘96 brought Agassi five titles, among them the French Open and US Open, bringing his world ranking from 122 to 6.

Girlfriend Effect? Shields was Agassi’s tennis kryptonite. We find it a little suspicious that his wrist injury resurfaced around the time of their divorce. Aren’t you supposed to, you know, get it on the regular when you’re married?
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Chuck Finley and Tawny Kitaen, ‘97-’02

Before: California Angels Pitcher Chuck Finley pitched 35 games with 215 strikeouts in the year before his marriage to Whitesnake vixen Kitaen.

During: As the marriage began to dissolve in ‘01, Finley would endure a rough season, pitching 22 games with just 96 strikeouts.

After: After the vacuous marriage came to an end, Finley was back on his grind, albeit for three different teams, pitching 32 total games for 174 strikeouts.

Girlfriend Effect? When you have a wife that beats you with her stiletto slore heels, then snitches to the league about your drug and steroid use, you’ve got to expect a performance dip.
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Chris Webber and Tyra Banks, ‘03-’06

Before: In the 2002-’03 season, Webber had 1,542 season points and a .461 field goal percentage. Not bad.

During: Between a shoulder surgery and sparse playing time, Webber only banked 430 points in the 2003-’04 season, managing to maintain a .413 field goal percentage.

After: With America’s Next Top Model behind him, Webber was back to 1,518 points in the 2005-’06 season.

Girlfriend Effect? We’d like to think Webber’s shoulder injury stemmed from a wild sex swing injury paired with a lack of conditioning. Or maybe the size of Tyra’s forehead just weighed too heavily on him.
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Alex Rodriguez and Madonna, 2008

Before: A-Rod put up solid numbers during his 2007 season as a family man, with an impressive .314 batting average, 143 runs, and 54 ding-dongs.

During: Fresh off a divorce from his wife Cynthia, A-Rod allegedly popped Madonna’s cherry for the 234,123 time while still managing to uphold a .302 batting average in 2008 with 104 runs and 35 homers.

After: With the smoke cleared, A-Rod seems to be hurting this season (possibly from steroid withdrawal). So far in 2009, he’s got a .256 batting average, 35 runs, and 17 homers.

Girlfriend Effect? It’s hard to say considering A-Rod was the source of so much heartbreak and scandal in the past few years, but realistically, Madonna’s sag may well have deflated his swag.
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BONUS COUPLE

Lewis Hamilton and Nicole Scherzinger, 2009

Before: Hamilton was the first black driver (and the youngest) to become a Formula One Champion in 2008.

During: Hamilton’s current standing has dropped to 11th.

Girlfriend Effect? For Scher-zinger.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is under a lot of pressure lately, and no, this time it’s not because a beastly defense is gang raping him. Last season was cursed by controversy as star receiver Terrell Owens claimed that Romo was conspiring to not throw him balls that he could in turn drop (yes, the same Owens who showed public support for his QB a year earlier by crying when the press criticized Romo for losing yet another playoff game). Such turmoil may have led to the Cowboys getting reamed 44-6 by the Philadelphia Eagles in their final game, putting an exclamation point on a late season collapse.

This week, Romo caught more flak as teammates anonymously bitched that his inconsistent practices affected game day chemistry and Hall of Fame Cowboy Troy Aikman called him out for not taking the biggest job in Texas seriously enough. The ’90s star said that Romo should know that, regardless of whether or not he was prepared for his playoff game, vacationing with Jessica Simpson in Mexico on a bye week last year gave people the perception that he isn’t focused on winning (and that he loves these hos, a definite no-no in professional sports).

As a result of all the cow shit being shoveled on him, Romo spoke to the Dallas Morning News and vowed to be a more active leader next year. Complex has five steps that ‘Mo will have to take to lead the Cowboys to glory.

1. Spend less time sucking face with Jessica Simpson (or whichever blonde tackling dummy he’s replaced her with) and spend more time tonguing down his attention-starved teammates. Romo needs to understand that, like all women, T.O. has needs.

2. Concuss Troy Aikman in the hopes that he’ll retire from broadcasting when he can no longer form simple sentences, remember clichés or reminisce about the D’s ’90s glory days while shitting all over Romo.

3. If T.O. gives him even the slightest problem, replace his usual protein powder with ultra weight gainer. Owens may cry more than usual but there’s no way he’ll draw attention to himself when he’s developed super-sized Texas man tits.

4. Include teammates in his fraternity karaoke sing-alongs. On-field harmony begins with getting together with as many big sweaty dudes can fit in a private room and hitting high notes while doing belly shots off each other.

5. Stop looking like a fresh faced pushover and start looking like a man who has the balls to play under center in Dallas. It’s time Romo grew some real stubble. Brett Favre is proof that the more grizzled you look, the less likely people are to call you out when you display an historic ability to complete passes to the other team.

Read on to see the greatest sports moments for haters (in calendar order)…

LOSER: DUKE AND UNC
LOSS: Second-round and Final Four defeats (respectively) for the white-boy basketball saviors.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because ice beasts have no right to be on the hardwood with the original man, unless they’re exported straight from the caves like Andrei Kirilenko!
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LOSER: NIKE
LOSS: Losing face at the Olympics. Nike boy Michael “Birdman” Phelps rocked a Speedo LZR suit while in the pool, Usain Bolt and his Pumas embarrassed Nike’s track stars, and the Swoosh’s biggest Chinese sponsored athlete (hurdler Liu Xang) pulled out of competition with an injury.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because Reebok took a big enough L with their “Dan and Dave” debacle in ‘92, and it’s about time the Microsoft of athletic companies got some loser on their face.
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LOSER: YANKEES
LOSS: Despite a MLB record $209 million payroll, the Evil Empire finished third in the AL East, missing the playoffs for the first time since the 1994 strike.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because by handing out bloated contracts without regard for talent or clubhouse chemistry, they’ve heartily sodomized the idea of parity in baseball. Attention CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett: Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano still need two overvalued pitchers for their golf foursome. Which will promptly disband due to wrist injuries, obesity, and Old-Time Prospector Temper Disorder.
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LOSER: KIMBO SLICE
LOSS: After a long loud ride on the hype machine beating up tomato cans for fun and profit, the backyard brawler got blasted in 14 seconds by Seth Petruzelli. Who? Exactly.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because a when a sheisty MMA league takes a puncher and try to sell him as the second coming of Royce Gracie, it rubs some people the wrong way. Dicks.
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LOSER: NOTRE DAME
LOSS: Following up last year’s 3-9 record by going 6-6. Actually, 7-6 if you count the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl'aka the Free Vacation Bowl'which of course a .500 team is unquestionably qualified to play in.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because college teams shouldn’t have network deals. Mediocre but overpaid? They’re the Jay Leno of collegiate sports!
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LOSER: SEAN AVERY
LOSS: Indefinite suspension after referring to his ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert as sloppy seconds
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because the guy’s a goalie-screening, fight-dodging, flopping prima donna. But don’t take our word for it. This guy’s got the evidence.
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LOSER: BRETT FAVRE
LOSS: Coming out of retirement to guilt the Packers into taking him back, then going to the Jets and missing the playoffs thanks to nine interceptions (and two TDs) in his last five games.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Mostly because we hate his Wrangler ads. Oooooh, salt of the earth! Fuck outta here.
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LOSER: DALLAS COWBOYS
LOSS: The worst defeat in twenty years…to mortal enemies the Eagles…to knock them out of playoff contention. Hee.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Hard to say. Is it their megalomaniacal cracka-ass owner Jerry Jones, their saggy pudendum of a coach Wade Phillips, Paul Bunyan’s stunt double Jason Witten, oldest living Gerber baby Terrell Owens, their penchant for signing thug fantasist fuck-ups, or Joe Simpson’s London Bridge partner Tony Romo?
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LOSER: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
LOSS: Three the hard way, you miserable sons of bitches. First was the hubris-crushing Super Bowl loss to the Giants, then the ACL-crushing loss of Tom Brady, then the soul-crushing loss of going to the playoffs thanks to a byzantine series of divisional tiebreakers (Dolphins and Ravens, drinks on us!).
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because we hate the Patriots. We hate smug-ass golden boy Brady and his surprisingly competent stand-in Matt Cassel, we hate Bill Belichek and his sleeveless sweatshirts (no hobo), we hate Tedy Bruschi and his inspirational return from a stroke, we hate injured part-time gargoyle Laurence Maroney, we hate Randy Moss and his incongruous local-TV weatherman voice, we hate white-power icon Wes Welker, we just hate them all. Fuck you all sideways with a goalpost. Except you, Deltha O’Neal. You’re so terrible that it’s always fun watching you get pwned.

Thanks in advance to the producers and analysts who allow the broadcast to be sidetracked by this bullshit. While you try to focus on the actual game action, check out ten of of the most discussed athlete-starlet couples and vote on which is the most annoying.


San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker & Eva Longoria

New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen

Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder David Beckham & Victoria Beckham

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez & Madonna

Retired tennis pro Anna Kournikova & Enrique Iglesias

Mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz & Jenna Jameson

New York Islanders center Mike Comrie & Hillary Duff

IndyCar racer Dario Franchitti & Ashley Judd