Complex Blog » Tila Tequila

Worldwide Wednesday: The 9 Hottest Vietnamese Women

intern — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:22:45 +0000

Today is the 64th anniversary of Vietnam’s independence from France. Hooray decolonization! We’re all for peace, freedom, and all that hippie stuff, but we’re more into beautiful foreign women. What, you thought ‘Nam was only good for Agent Orange and Vietcong? Pho outta here, son! Check out Complex’s pick of the 9 hottest Vietnamese women for today’s edition of Worldwide Wednesday…

#9: HOANG THUY LINH
CLAIM TO FAME: This famous TV personality got caught on a scandalous sex tape. Go ahead, we’ll still be here.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE SEXY VIETNAMESE WOMEN!

Super Two’s Day: Guess That Reality Star’s Cleavage

intern — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:24:27 +0000

Each week on Super Two’s Day, we’ve been presenting the most breast-tacular moments in the careers of various celebrities. But have you been paying attention? To challenge the true Super Two’s Day connoisseur, we decided to switch things up with a test: can you tell us which set of funbags belong to which busty reality show starlet? After you think you have the answer, simply click on each Two’s photo (below) to find out her identity…

#5: GARGANTUAN CANNONS

[click on the image to see the celebrity's face]

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE REALITY STAR TWO’S…

Ray J’s Dilemma: Tila Tequila vs. Cocktail

dscott — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:23:20 +0000

Ladies Love Cool Ray. We thought Ray J had found love after searching through all the contestants on his VH1 reality show For the Love of Ray J, but now he seems to be back in the middle of some woman worries. Only a few weeks after he picked Cocktail to be his wifey, fellow reality show star Tila Tequila came out of hiding to announce, via YouTube, that she’s the one Ray J found love with. Of course, this didn’t sit too well with Cocktail, who put out a response video (watch ’em both below).

This got us thinking: which girl would be a better match for our boy Ray? Who would really be able to make him happy? To answer that question, we broke down a couple Pros and Cons for each potential pick to help decide who should be the future Mrs. Norwood. Or at least the girl he takes out on his rented yacht. Keep reading and vote on who think Ray J should pick…

COCKTAIL (real name: Joanna Hernandez)

PROS:

• Shawty is a pleaser. As we saw throughout the entire season for For the Love of Ray J, Cocktail will do whatever it takes to please her man. Whatever you’re into, she’ll pretend to be into: basketball, hot oil massages, making her ass clap in the shower. Whatever he wants, he’ll get.

• Good brain. You may have thought she was an airhead on TV, but homegirl’s actually got a degree in Social Work from Sacramento State University.

• She’s easy to please. We know it’s the little things that make the biggest impression, but Cocktail doesn’t need much to be happy. According to her, “she doesn’t take the simple things in life for granted and appreciates what I have and who I have in my life everyday.” Which could also read, “I’ll be happy with a meal from Red Lobster with an extra side of cheddar biscuits!” Our kind of girl.

• She Looks Great in a Bikini. Well, yeah, she does.

CONS

• She’s a snitch. Although she was snitching on the other girls in the house, Cocktail’s constant sleuthing and tattle-tailing got a little annoying towards the end of the show.

• So Emotional. Cocktail has confessed that she’s a “hopeless romantic” and that she wears her heart on her sleeve. At first that can be cute, but after a while can grow to be a little grating. And with the way Ray J lives his life (two at the same time), we can definitely see that little heart of hers getting broken.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

TILA TEQUILA (real name: Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen)

PROS

• She gets it on her own While on the show, Ray J stressed that he wanted to find a girl who wasn’t with him just to eat off his money and fame. Well, according to her Wikipedia page, Tila is an American internet celebrity, television host, author, model, entertainer, actress, and singer songwriter! So she definitely won’t have her hand in Ray’s pockets. Unless she’s giving him a handjob, with her hand.

• She’s down to experiment. Tila revealed that she got her nickname after she experimented with Mexican spirit when she was 13. Lets not forget that she’s bisexual. She’ll be able to play out any and every sexual fantasy Ray J can conjure up that he didn’t already do while filming For the Love of Ray J.

• Float your boat. In the off chance that the two of them are capsized at sea, Ray J can get his Jack Dawson on and use Tila’s buoyant (fake) breasts to stay alive.

• Power Couple. If they two of them were get together, they could be the reality TV version of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! Aight, that’s a stretch. But imagine the show they would make if they were together? “For the Love of One Shot with Tila Tequila”! That’s money in the bank.

CONS

• Facial Features: She looks like the love child of the Predator and Cameron Diaz.

• Sticky Icky. Maybe it was due to the fact that everytime we saw her on TV, she was in a pool or having liquor licked off of her, but we get the feeling that she 1) smells like Astro Glide and 2) would stick to us like fly paper if we were to touch her.

• Almost Famous. Tila thinks she’s kind of a big deal. She doesn’t seem like the kind of girl that would play on any team except her own.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Tila Tequila Is Still Famous

Joe — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:02:59 +0000

Tila Tequila was out and about. And so was her chest. [Bastardly]

Eff waiting in line for the Yeezy’s, win a pair HERE.

Ah-haaaaaaaaaaa! Jada gets the cover of The Source’s April/May cover. [Nah Right]

Wow. Super Twosday on a Thursday. [Double Viking]

Nike x Swagger? Weird…or….awesome. [High Snobiety]

5 Film Festivals That No One Wants To Watch

prubin — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:16:00 +0000

From the Department of Totally Unnecessary Developments, tomorrow marks the opening of the Uwe Boll Film Festival in Los Angeles. Yes, the man who many call The Shittiest Filmmaker To Ever Walk The Earth has somehow merited a retrospective, albeit one that we have to assume for the sake of our sanity is ironic. But either way, we’re skurred. If the man behind Postal and BloodRayne (1 AND 2!) can attract masochistic film fans, then there’s no telling what’s next. Then again, maybe there is…

Read on to see the other film festivals that could be coming soon to a community college near you…

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ERNEST: JIM VARNEY IN MEMORIAM

• Screening Schedule: Ernest in the Army, Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes to School, Ernest Rides Again, Ernest Scared Stupid, Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain, Ernest Saves Christmas, Ernest Goes to Camp, and the lost gem Ernest Goes to Africa
• Keynote Address: The mythical “Vern”, “A Life Behind The Camera”
• Festival Highlight: The panel “Jon Stewart is Just A Highfalutin’ Sissypants Version of Jim Varney Who Could Never Save Christmas If He Tried”

STINKBURGERS ON ICE: BLACK OSCAR WINNERS’ POST-AWARD MISSTEPS

• Screening Schedule: Forest Whitaker’s Street Kings, Morgan Freeman’s Lucky Number Slevin, Louis Gossett Jr.’s Jaws 3-D, Denzel Washington’s John Q, Jamie Foxx’s Stealth, Halle Berry’s Catwoman
• Keynote Address: Whoopi Goldberg, “Ted Danson and Me: Like Will and Jada, But Horrifying”
• Festival Highlight: The Cuba Gooding Jr. Quadruple Feature (Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, Norbit, Chill Factor)–Anyone who can sit through all four without suffering a massive seizure gets a full refund!

CELLING OUT: THE SHITTIEST LIVE-ACTION ADAPTATIONS OF CHILDHOOD CARTOONS

• Screening Schedule: Inspector Gadget, George of the Jungle, Scooby Doo, Underdog, Mr. Magoo, Popeye, Speed Racer, Flintstones, Masters of the Universe
• Keynote Address: Dolph Lundgren (Not officially booked, he just refused to leave the convention center after last year’s festival)
• Festival Highlight: The Wachowski Brothers’ public apology

FIGHT THE POWER: THE INTERRACIAL BUDDY MOVIES OF MARTIN LAWRENCE

• Screening Schedule: What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Nothing To Lose, National Security, Blue Streak, Wild Hogs
• Keynote Address: Tim Robbins, Charlie Sheen, Danny DeVito, and Steve Zahn: “Seriously, We Had Nothing Better To Do”
• Festival Highlight: The Heat Exhaustion Simulat-O-Rant, where attendees can have their pictures taken while running through a busy intersection, waving a gun and babbling.

NEVERNUDE09: MOVIES YOU PAID TO SEE IN HOPES THE LEAD ACTRESS WOULD GET NAKED, BUT THEY NEVER DID, AND INSTEAD YOU FELL ASLEEP

• Screening Schedule: Scarlett Johansson’s Girl With A Pearl Earring, Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz’s Bandidas, Angelina Jolie’s Beyond Borders, Halle Berry’s Things We Lost in the Fire, Jennifer Connelly’s Reservation Road
• Keynote Address: Jesus Martinez of Drunkenstepfather.com, “What The Fuck Am I Supposed To Masturbate To Now?”
• Festival Highlight: Tila Tequila’s “Who Needs Art? I’m BISEXUAL!” Relief Booth

Oliva Palermo Gets Us Over The Hump

Joe — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:04:49 +0000

You don't have to slut it up all the time, sometimes you just have to have a pretty face. Olivia Palermo fits the bill. [Bastardly]

Ambiguous no more! Street vandal NECKFACE gets ousted. [Gawker]

Tila Tequila got a book deal. Hopefully it's just a picture book. [Flisted]

Watching people fall down is funny, seriously. [Double Viking]

Enter this contest and grab a chance to win the Jordan 11/12 Countdown pack. [NiceKicks]

QDeezy from Big Boy's neighborhood interviews Mr. West. [Nah Right]

Super Two’s Day: Tila Tequila’s Breast Moments Of 2008

Bradley — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:39:26 +0000

Reality TV spinoffs are all the rage these days. Wait, did we just say that? We meant “bi-sexual drunken reality shows are all the rage these days.” Oh, and fake boobs too.

Speaking of fake tits, we normally reserve Super Two’s Day for great moments in natural breasts, but we decided to make an exception for the Godmother of soft core import model porn, Tila Tequila. She has a hit MTV show a spin-off called A Double Shot At Love (which premieres tonight), and the artist formerly known as Tila Nguyen most definitely still has the Internet going nuts. Check out the finest moments in the recent history of her perky post-ops…

CLICK THROUGH TO SEE TILA TEQUILA’s BEST BREAST SHOTS OF 2008

Celebrities Who Give Out Their Cellphone Numbers

donniek — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:45:03 +0000

Ryan’s # can be found on his MySpace, as well as various men’s bathroom walls across the Village.

Desperate times call for desperate measures: The music industry is still floundering, so artists gotta do what they can to make a buck. Enter SayNow, a service that allows fans to dial up their favorite celebrities. Each of SayNow’s nearly 300 artists'from big shots like 50 Cent to small fries like Young Twinn'have offered their cellphone numbers for Stans to call and leave messages. Apparently, the stars themselves will sometimes call back to leave messages of their own.

This concept was somewhat interesting when Mike Jones (remember him?) originated it, but now that pretty much anybody is offering their digits, the novelty is officially dead. Plus, you’ll have better luck finding a virgin in Hef’s mansion than someone over 13 who believes these artists are actually listening to these calls. But eff it, what if we really could just ring up our favorite celebs? See below to hear a sampling of phone greetings from celebs, and the messages we’d leave them…

JIM JONES, 917-675-3685

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “It’s me, Killa. I miss you, doggie. I really mean it!”

RIHANNA, 347-767-5143

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “You seen my new video, right??? You only WISH you could move like that with your bloated Caribbean ass. Try calling my man again, see what happens…now put a ring on that, BITCH.”

MIMS, 646-722-0350

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “Um, hello Shawn? Yeah this is Dustin at Pinkberry, man. Dude, you gotta call if you’re not coming in. It’s really not cool, man. Just call me when you get this alright? OK, thanks Shawn.”

TILA TEQUILA, 860-256-8452

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “Ms. Nguyen, this is Nancy from Dr. Cohen’s office. We may have found out the reason behind those sores. Please call us immediately, thank you.”

PLIES, 813-964-3813

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “Why you ain't in Fort Myers? Be a man, one-tennnnnnnnnn. If you skurred of it, git out of it. Period, whoadie. That bullsheeeit you rap about???? Gahhhhh-bage.”

CASSIE, 917-720-7496

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: Hey sweetalicious snookums…been trying to reach you. Don’t believe what Aubrey says, baby. C’mon, you know me better than that, sexy lexie buggy bear. So, look, Kim’s out of town this weekend. Maybe we can cuddle and watch Wall-E again. Talk to you soon, honey bunny sugar booger wooger.”

YUNG BERG, 323-271-0572

THE GREETING:
OUR MESSAGE: “[*robot voice*] YUNG BERG, THIS IS YOUR CHAIN SPEAKING. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME. PLEASE RESCUE ME FROM MY CAPTORS. WHY MUST I SUFFER…”

Tila Tequila Is Perplexed

Joe — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:16:03 +0000

It's ok, we're confused as to why you're famous too Tila Tequila. [Hollywood Tuna]

If you want Curtis to talk greasy, lead him up to a roof, and put the camera on him. [Nah Right]

You're familiar with the kicks, now check out Gourmet's threads for summer. [SlamxHype]

This Iraqi kid is a G. [Double Viking]

Get Michael Jordan's notorious last shot as a wallpaper for free. [Nice Kicks]

Tila Tequila Looking Impressive

Joe — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 23:14:13 +0000

It's rare we come across a Tila Tequila photo where she doesn't look like total trash, so we swag-jacked this from our partner site. [Bastardly]

Nas and Green Lantern push the envelope with their new mixtape covers. [Nah Right]

Check out the Top 10 Tailgating schools, featuring hot college chicks. [Asylum]

Dr. Phil couldn't help this fatty problem child. [Double Viking]

The Douchebag party never happened at Seattle University. [TastyBooze]