If there’s one kind of movie we love, it’s POV porn so-crappy-they’re-great action joints. And at the top of our Most Anticipated list is Piranha 3-D, a feast for the senses that stars everyone from certified badasses (Ving Rhames) to acting legends (Richard Dreyfuss) to comic geniuses (Christopher Lloyd) to one of the greatest dimepieces of the ’80s and ’90s. Yes, Elizabeth Shue, the heartbreaker of every classic from Karate Kid to Adventures in Babysitting, has left Las Vegas for good to bless 3-D technology with her depth-defying frame. Not only that, but she’s looking better than ever—presumably one has to be in killer shape to stave off bloodthirsty seafood.
So follow us into the archives as we go fishing for only the finest images of one of our earliest crushes…
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Angelina at 17. Jail bait!
Angelina Jolie turns 34 today but she got an early birthday gift yesterday when Forbes ranked her as the world’s most powerful celebrity (take that, Oprah!) in the magazine’s annual Celebrity 100 list. Angelina undoubtedly looks good for her age but way before she was known for adopting kids, she was famous for being quick to get naked..for art, of course. To celebrate her birthday and her number-one Forbes spot (though we’d rather have her on top of us), we compiled Angelina’s sexiest ’90s moments…
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When we think Brooke “Jailbait” Shields in The Blue Lagoon, we think cold showers…in prison…with angry bikers.
Brooke Shields has been knocking boots for a while now, but she regrets that her sexual history doesn’t date back further. The actress, model and author, who turns 44 this weekend, recently told Health magazine that she waited until she was 22 to lose her virginity and wishes that she’d bumped uglies earlier because it would have made her more comfortable with her body. A lot of guys wish they could help her with that retroactively. It’s hard to believe Shields had the chastity shield up so long, considering that in the late ’70s and early ’80s, when she was still jailbait, she was famous for taking her clothes off in model shoots and film roles like Pretty Baby and The Blue Lagoon that bordered on child pornography.
Well, better late than never, Complex says. And besides, she was always sexually active in the imaginations of young men and dirty old perverts. As we throw it back to Brooke Shields, we just ask that the young men who’ve become dirty old perverts and the dirty old perverts who’ve become dirtier older perverts keep it in their pants…
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Those of us who grew up in the ’80s will remember Farrah Fawcett as the pin-up girl gracing our bedroom walls and triggering our semi-innocent childhood fantasies. Although over the years her attractive features were overshadowed by her ditzy antics, you can’t deny the former Charlie’s Angels star’s status as a certified dimepiece.
On a serious note, we were saddened to hear about the former sex symbol’s current health issues and wish her the best as she battles cancer. With nostalgic thoughts of the blonde beauty in mind, we’d like to pay a little homage to Farrah with a compilation that’s chock-full of her hottest pictures.
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The only member of the Jackson family who isn’t bat-shit crazy turns 43 this Saturday, and we’ve decided to throw her a party two days early. See, J.J. was the frequent subject of our adolescent fantasies, and she’s held up shockingly well for over two decades. Even if she does carry Jermaine “the pint-sized producer” Dupri in her pocket these days, Janet will always be our girl.
While she’s probably throwing some elaborate guest-list only jam this weekend, we’re inviting all of you to join our Janet party by looking back at the evolution of Miss Jackson over the years. Oh, and JD isn’t invited…
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Dear space nerds who are too good for Star Wars: the time is almost here for you to again complain bitterly about a movie not living up to the splendored source material! Yes, J.J. Abrams‘ long-anticipated Star Trek reboot is hitting theaters tomorrow (well, tonight at midnight, so expect to see plenty of Spock pajamas if you go to one of the first screenings), which means it’s time to argue over the technical details of the Enterprise’s HVAC system take a look at the ladies who have graced the ST universe over the years.
We’d show them our captain’s log, amirite? Set our phasers on ‘bone’? Dock in their holodeck? And if you’re about to leave a comment that it’s not actually a holodeck or something in Klingon about the salt mines of Blargon 7, then blow your shit loose. Just kidding. Hang yourself instead.
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Watergate? Irangate? Applegate is a scandal we’d like to get caught up in.
Ever since we saw bleached blonde Christina Applegate do the bimbo bounce playing Kelly Bundy on Married with Children, we’ve been fans of her work. Seriously, her range was amazing (up, down, up, down). All these years later, the 37-year-old actress is still talented and, more importantly, hot, as evidenced by her gracing People’s latest “100 Most Beautiful People” cover.
It’s quite an honor, but here at Complex, we wouldn’t disrespect her by lumping her in with 99 other supposedly beautiful people (OK, Zac Efron is kinda dreamy). Instead, we pay tribute to her by devoting an entire Throwback Thursday post to nothing but decades of her hotness. Sorry, Zac, maybe you’ll get a Wifey/Trifey some day…
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You’ve already heard the sad news; adult film O.G. Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her home on Sunday. Foul play isn’t suspected, which means that even though the onetime Ivory Soap model was only 56, we may have finally reached the point when porn stars are dying of natural causes.
Either way, that tiny minority of people who enjoy looking at naked ladies from time to time will mourn her loss—but we’re not going to let that get in the way of a good memorial service. Which is why we present Marilyn and seven other women who blazed a (happy) trail through the skin flicks of the ’70s…
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The hot chicks in Wes Craven’s horror flicks make us wanna scream.
This Friday, the remake of writer/director Wes Craven’s low budget 1972 horror classic The Last House on the Left hits theaters. The movie, which tells the story of parents exacting revenge on the escaped convicts who’ve recently savaged their daughter, is decidedly slicker than the original, but not necessarily better. Every time we watch remakes, we can’t help but think how hot the women we ogled originally were. So, in honor of all the chicks who got stabbed up once upon a time, Complex revisits Wes Craven’s unforgettable scream queens…
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Pam Anderson always gave us blonde rambition.
Word to Chinua Achebe, things fall apart. Word to Pamela Anderson, people do too. Yesterday the 41-year-old Canadian best known for playing a pair of flotation devices on the hit series Baywatch strut her ever-aging stuff in a gold bathing suit for fashion designer Richie Rich during New York Fashion Week.
Clearly Pam is not on her 40-something yoga game like Madonna, but that doesn’t change the fact that she, her surgically sexy twos and her bleached blonde hair absolutely owned the ’90s. No matter how bad she starts to look, we’ll always have fond mammaries of her. Join Complex as we take a look back at some of her hottest moments for Throwback Thursday.
CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW PAM STARTED OFF IN 1989…
