NEWS

Shaq Attack!: Shaquille O’Neal’s 5 Scariest Moments

Fe! Fi! Fo! Fum! Don’t make Shaq dunk your head in your ass, son!

If there were a Guinness record given to the world’s largest lethal weapon, it would definitely go to 7′1″, 325-lb. Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O’Neal. The Diesel is a funny, generally amiable dude, but sometimes he simply can’t help squashing the little Smurf people who scurry about his ankles. (And when he’s actually pissed off at them? Well, let’s just say the Big Aristotle doesn’t lash out with oversized philosophy.)

Sunday, during a game against the Detroit Pistons, Shaq was ejected for an assassination attempt flagrant foul on 6′5″, 205-lb. guard Rodney Stuckey while he was flying to the hoop. Shaq insisted that it was not a dirty play, just an honest attempt to block a lay-up, which only further proves the point that he’s one gigantic, scary mufucka. Read on for the five memorable moments when the Diesel Shaqqed that ass up. And, no, we’re not even going to waste a moment on Shaq rapping about the taste of his ass.

Click here to see Shaq’s 5 scariest moments.

Battle Of The Sleaze: Shaq Vs. Kobe

In the long-running feud between NBA stars and former teammates Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, most people have sided with the big guy ’cause he’s funny, charismatic, and hasn’t been accused of raping anyone.

Though he’s always seemed like the better guy, it turns out that Shaq may be as big of a sleazebag as Kobe, if not bigger. Last Thursday, his former jumpoff, Alexis Miller (a.k.a. Maryjane, the Atlanta rapper you’ve never heard of), filed a restraining order against him, claiming he’d stalked, threatened, and harassed her after she ended their relationship. The development gives Complex pause and cause to rethink the Shaq Vs. Kobe hate debate. Check out our head-to-head comparison and cast your vote to determine who’s sleazier.

Click Here To Start The Analysis…

The Best Of The Worst Anti-Asian Racism

Hateful, offensive humor has only a few easy targets left: gays, retards, and—our personal favorite—Asians. So we weren’t really surprised to see the Spanish Olympic basketball team making a “Me Chinese!” slanty-eyed gesture for a magazine ad. You think that’s offensive? Ho Rearry?? We put the Spanish ad up against other recent examples of anti-Asian racism in the media using our exclusive Chinaman rating scale…