Illustration by Japanese legend Hajime Soroyama
The best part of a recession is you can “project” just about anything, an idea that comes in handy when you’re trying to pitch your part of the world to tourists and magazine editors. At a recent press conference to promote Australian tourism, futurologist (yeah we know) Ian Yeoman stated, “Robotics will become important, because you’re going to have labor shortages in the future…Even robot “prostitutes” that would not pass on diseases such as HIV could make an appearance.”
Sounds good to us. Hey Ian: below is our list of top ten robot women we’d like to have sex with. If you can work on getting these made real, we’ll book our tickets. Just let us know when the ladies are ready and we’ll be there with a 10-page cover story, thanks…
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Meat and buns make Rick Pitino hungry for meat and buns.
Yesterday, The Courier-Journal of Louisville reported that Rick Pitino, the University of Louisville’s men’s basketball coach, told police, who were investigating rape charges against him, that he’d had consensual restaurant sex with and paid $3,000 for an abortion for his accuser, Karen Cunagin Sypher. The pretty blond, who’s married to the university’s equipment manager, accused Pitino, a married Catholic, of sexually assaulting her after she was charged with trying to blackmail him for $10 million. Scandalous! Sacrilegious sex, sure. But in the sanctity of a restaurant?! Our taste buds tingle from the shame of it all!
Actually, considering that the basic male needs are sex, food, water, sex, shelter, and sex, it makes perfect sense that Pitino got it poppin’ at Louisville’s Porcini Restaurant. With a name like that, you’d think they’d enjoyed a really classy dining and extramarital smash-off experience, but given all the subsequent drama, perhaps Sypher took offense because it wasn’t fancy enough for a respectable lady such as her. With that in mind, Complex breaks down other restaurants that might be good for an eat and beat. Bon appetit!
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Last month, Apple began letting developers submit adult content to the iTunes App Store, and we don’t mean the kind of apps your parents would download when we say “adult.” Yeah, Steve Jobs and his goons opened up iPhones across the world to good old-fashioned dirty applications focused on sex.
You know those people that never stop talking about all the apps on their iPhone? Well, these are the ones they downloaded on the down low. Is that a touch-screen mobile device in your pocket or are you just excited to hit the jump? Sigh, just keep reading to check our guide to the 5 sleaziest iPhone applications…
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Ever since women have denied men pussy (a.k.a. “the beginning of time”), we’ve on occasion been forced to find other ways to bust off; for the majority of us, a hand and some lotion is enough (and for our rural friends, the random farm animal). But what to do when you’re sick of jacking off, far from a farm and you really need a nut? Well, you’ve got to get creative, that’s what.
Over the weekend we read the news that a 29-year-old Michigan man was arrested for “receiving dome sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash. A car wash vacuum, huh? Very inventive! We’ll just have to add that to our growing list of inanimate objects that desperate men have sex with.
Click here to see our list of man’s favorite inanimate sex objects…
This morning, porn star and vintner Savanna Samson debuted her HOT NEW SINGLE on Howard Stern’s Sirius show. It was totally awesome exactly what you’d imagine: semi-competent singing over a generic dance track.
But that’s not really the point, is it? Porn stars ternt sangas are by no means new; music is usually the second item on an adult performer’s bucket list, just after “appear on Howard Stern” and just before “guest star on Two and A Half Men.” That being said, are you really surprised that we went out and scoured the internets for some of these incredible vocal stylings? Didn’t think so. Check out our round-up of musical porn stars.
Click Here To Give Your Ears A Full-Body Freakin’…
With HBO’s long-awaited vampire drama True Blood starting up this Sunday, we got to thinking: even though we don’t think Anna Paquin is a vampire in the show’s first episode, chances are good she’ll be sucking on something before too long.
Which, if you ask us, is a good thing. There’s just something about a set of fangs and an insatiable appetite for man’s most vital fluid that ratchets up the sexy.
If you don’t believe us, peep some of our favorite female vampire moments…
Food options around L.A. have always been scarce, especially for adult performers. All those “no shirt, no service” and “no DPs by the salad bar” regulations can really cramp an intimate evening out. Finally, a couple of skin-flick vets have opened a “porn-friendly restaurant” called Oxygen in the middle of the Vagina San Fernando Valley.
Veronica Rayne and her partner promise a varied menu, as well as a number of booths dedicated to their close friends in the industry. Come with us for a sneak peek at the who the booths are named after, as well as some menu suggestions from their ever-helpful friends at Complex.
To browse the menu we curated click here…
It’s a sad week for '90s porn: O.G. Vivid girl Janine Lindemulder has pleaded guilty to failure to pay taxes, and faces up to $100,000 fine and a year in the bing.
Our new slogan is obvious. But Janine wouldn’t be the first adult actress to find herself behind bars'take a walk down mammary lane with us, won’t you?
Click here to see which porn stars have been locked up…
The NYC rumor mill is saying that we might be seeing an American Idol star pose for Playboy sometime in the near future. We always look forward to seeing sluts get naked and pretend like its an assertion of their feminism (whatup Kim!), and it’s not like we watch American Idol or anything, but we’re hoping it’s Katharine McPhee or Ryan Starr.
The idea of devoting 90 seconds of our lives on the internet to watch these two make out and have sex posing naked reminds us of the great sex scandals and sluts that American Idol has given us over the years, so we’ve compiled the best below.
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It’s hard to believe it was over twenty years ago that Janet Jackson threw on black jeans and a t-shirt for her classic “Pleasure Principle” video. Yesterday, the pop-starlet announced that she has teamed up with Bruno Schiavi (the man behind Dr. 90210’s intimate apparel) to create a lingerie collection named after her 1986 smash.
The announcement means that the titty-slipping queen will be joining the slew of other fly celebrity chicks who have tried to capitalize on their sex appeal by dropping “intimates.”
Click here to see our other favorite celebrity lingerie lines…
