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Who’s The Worst Rapper Video Blogger?

Back in the day™, if a rapper didn’t have an album (or at least a song on the radio), the only shine he might expect would be a few sentences in the back of The Source. But nowadays, every MC Tom, Dick and Harry with a MacBook—no matter how irrelevant or untalented—can make a name with a video blog. Quite simply, rapper video blogging is outta control.

Be clear: We are not talking about video blogs from dudes like Diddy, Weezy, and Soulja Boy—though they are no less asinine, you’re allowed a little slack when you’ve proven you have actual fans. For this poll, we’re aiming directly at the lames who put out more web videos than actual music, the ones that clog up worldstarhiphop.com with their mindless fuckery. So who’s the worst video blogger of the bunch?

Click here to see the candidates and cast your vote!

DMX Talks Speeding Tips And Groupie Tales

According to Dark Man X, his life is a journey just like everyone else’s. It just so happens that we get a front row seat to his. So we get to see all the high points—like him changing the landscape of rap with his Ruff Ryders crew over a decade ago—and the low points, like him getting arrested seven times in one year.

We caught up with DMX in July while he was working on his seventh and eighth studio albums, Walk With Me Now and You’ll Fly With Me Later, to speak to him for our “Talking Heads” column in our August/September issue. Dude gave us more gems than we could fit inside the magazine, so here’s the uncut interview, where X talks about his scariest nightmares, how to evade the cops in a Ferrari and most importantly, how to dodge groupies…

The Unauthorized History of Hip Hop Chain Snatching

Middle-aged white guys buy snazzy sports cars and flaunt them as if they’re chrome, fuel-injected, super-charged effigies of their now flaccid cocks. Rappers, on the other hand, buy gaudy medallions attached to equally gaudy links and rock them as if they’re platinum-and-gold-plated, diamond-encrusted effigies of their now flaccid cocks. So you can imagine how emasculated your favorite rapper feels when another rapper, or local stick-up kid, comes along, takes their shine, and leaks a picture or youtube video. It’s like they’re holding their penises (¡NH!) fully exposed for the world to see! Ay Carumba!

In any case, the latest incident of manhood snatching befell poor widdle Yung Berg while the diddy-bopper cruised the mean streets of Detroit (what he was doing wearing jewelry in the D, we don’t know either). Needless to say, Berg is probably somewhere licking his wounds. But cheer up, lil’ buddy! You just entered a club whose members include hip hop’s elite.

To boost Berg’s gloomy disposition, Complex combed the annals (ayo!) of hip hop history (along with rumors and allegations as well) to compile an authoritative list of the most notorious chain snatchings ever. To be fair to the victims and the vickers, we rated each incident by how emasculating it was to their careers, as well as the probability that the snatching actually happened (since almost none of the incidents can be verified by police reports) . If you don’t read this blog, you’re just robbing yourself.

Click here to start the snatchin’!

Style History: DMX’s Many 2008 Mugshots

Oh, Earl, you’ve done it again. Yesterday DMX was arrested Miami, marking the 9,143rd time he’s had a mug shot taken in this year alone. After the confetti and balloons settled down, we pulled together some of jail flicks in hopes of reconstructing the Darkman’s style evolution in 2008…

The Unauthorized History Of Puppets In Hip Hop

Whatchya wanna do? Wanna be a ballers? shotcallers? Brawlers? Well let Complex be the spoiler. The reality of hip hop is a sad one filled with guys who get their strings pulled, like Jimi Hendrix (no Pat Smear, my dear). And occasionally you can actually see their strings. Take for instance the awesomely creative new clip from Complex stalwart contributor Kanye West, which finds a styrofoam ‘Ye sucking wind in the Olympics (no Louganis) like a “Champion”. We keed, we keed.

But Kanye isn’t the first hip hopper to use a strung-up effigy of himself in a video. So for your viewing pleasure, and general edification, we’ve combed through the annals (grow up!) of hip hop to find the 5 greatest moments of puppetry in rap history. Go to school and peep Kanye’s latest below…

Porn Star Rap Battle: Tera Patrick Vs. Jenna Jameson

Long story short: in an interview last week, Tera Patrick talked kinda greasy about Jenna Jameson. Not a full-on insult, just a little sideways chatter. “There’s a lot more things I’ve done than Jenna. I wouldn’t say she has a mainstream presence….She has more of a porn look.”

So of course we thought, What if the two porn queens took it to the vocal booth? Both are known for outstanding oral work, so it stands to reason that a rap battle between the two would be an instant classic. So obviously we had to come up with lyrics for this hypothetical battle—check out the verses below then vote on who has the better spit-game…

Asher Roth: “Rap Is In The Suburbs Now”

Whether or not you relate to his All-American suburbanite persona, it’s been hard to ignore Asher Roth lately. After signing with Steve Rifkind’s SRC Records (home to Akon and Wu-Tang), the white boy from Morrisville, PA made a big splash last month with his Don Cannon and DJ Drama assisted mixtape The Greenhouse Effect.

His voice and punchline-heavy flow might bear some similarity to that of a certain Detroit rapper from 8 Mile, but Roth has managed to establish a unique persona with his recent remakes of Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” and Jay-Z’s “Roc Boys.” We spoke with Asher while he was in Chicago en route to working with The Cool Kids. In this exclusive interview, Asher talks about growing up on Dave Matthews, impressing Jay-Z, and why he’s not worried about his suburban rap rival John Brown.

Gnarls Barkley Leaks to the Internet

The news of Gnarls Barkley’s “The Odd Couple” leaking to the internet won’t be news for long if once record label gatekeepers pull it from the web. The gasping leak comes about a month early before the planned April 8th release date. Don’t be surprised. Today’s climate for selling records is no different than 2006 when the awkward duo of Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo met multi-platinum success with “St. Elsewhere.” Solution: push the record release date forward for retail stores, or simply, get it before it’s gone daddy gone.

[SOHH]

“Ace Capone” Facing Life

Philly rapper and founder of Take Down Records Alton “Ace Capone” Coles was found guilty of all sorts of shit: “conspiracy to distribute cocaine, heading a continuing criminal enterprise that engaged in drug trafficking, conspiracy, wire fraud, money laundering and weapons offenses.” He was charged with funneling drug sales through his label between 1997 and 2005. Ace Capone is now facing a life sentence. Maybe those music videos depicting his drug empire wasn’t a good look after all.

[Ballerstatus]

Birthplace of Hip Hop Saved

After a little help from DJ Kool Herc and a whole lot of media attention, the Bronx building credited as the birthplace of Hip Hop will not be sold to make way for yuppies. Back in the day, Herc used to spin records and have parties in the basement of 1520 Sedgwick Avenue, helping to pioneer the Hip Hop movement. The building has been given official historic status and the proposed sale of the 100-unit apartment building was rejected.

[Newsday]