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Video Games That Should Be Turned Into Porn Movies

Japan keeps on making it, we keep on taking it. Leave it to the Japanese to innovate the new dawn of adult film—the video-game-adapted porno. After reading on Kotaku about an X-rated movie version of the DS game Brain Age (emphasis on BRAIN), we got to thinking about what current video games would translate into skin flicks. See our porno video game list after the jump.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Mary Carey Could Be The Next Hillary

With Hillary Clinton’s admission that she’s (finally) dropping out of the race, it must be a sad day for women in politics. But to all the girls out there worried that we might never see a female in power, we have an exciting announcement: porn star Mary Carey is back in the political arena.

Yep, the Double-D dynamo who ran for California Governor against Arnold in 2003 and again for Lieutenant Governor in 2006 has announced that she’ll be on the ballot this November for the California State Assembly election. In a statement about her new campaign, she said, “I want to energize people into caring about local politics again—much like we’ve seen in the national primaries. But unlike one of the presidential primary contenders, I’m actually a politician you’d want to get screwed by!” Ouch.

And Clinton better watch her back, because M.C. might be giving her a run for her money if she still wants the job in 8 years. In her gubernatorial concession speech, Mary let her true ambition shine: “Thirteen years from now, when I’m old enough to be eligible, you may see my name on a presidential ballot!” For a refresher on Mary Carey’s nuanced policies, watch a TV ad from her 2003 campaign below.

Popularity: 81% [?]

Zack And Miri Make A Porno Casting Call

Kevin Smith really needs to release a good movie. He’s made some classic bangers, but 2006’s Clerks II didn’t do enough to wash Jersey Girl’s Bennifer residue out of the public’s mouth. It looks like his upcoming October release, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, might do the trick.

Plot details are scarce—two friends try to raise money by making an amatuer adult film—but the casting alone makes it seem like a winner. In addition to leads Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks (who previously co-starred in The 40-Year-Old Virgin), the flick features The Office’s Craig Robinson and ’80s porn icon Traci Lords. Check out the first teaser trailer after the jump to see the casting.

Popularity: 84% [?]

Chuck Palahniuk’s “Snuff” Pushes Porn Trailers

From gruesome masterbation accidents to airplane-hijacking suicide cults, Chuck Palahniuk’s novels are always centered around some crazy shit. Most famous for writing Fight Club, Chuckie P. is gearing up to release his new book Snuff, which focuses in on the adult film industry.

The story follows fictional porn star Cassie Wright as she films a record-breaking sex scene with 600 men. As a promo for the book (which comes out on May 20), they’ve filmed fake trailers for a few of Cassie’s supposed movies, including The Wizard Of Ass and Chitty Chitty Gang Bang. Watch the hilarious results after the jump.

Popularity: 86% [?]

Are We Looking At The New Pussycat Dolls?

Trifey alert! Spending a night with any of these broads from new pop group “Girlicious” will leave your sheets filled with cheap makeup—and they might try to steal your dunks on the way out. [Bastardly]

Nas sits down with On Smash. [On Smash]

LED shower heads? Dope. [Baller House]

Watching porn in front of “Jesus” is not a good idea. [Double Viking]

Huf x Vans satin Sk8-Hi’s are coming. [CtotheJL]

Popularity: 85% [?]

Porn For The Blind Talks Like Sex

Everyone knows the laundry list of things that make being blind suck. Sure, the obvious drawbacks of not being able to watch TV and walk without bumping into everything makes living as a blind person tough, but what about when it comes time to splash-off? Hooking up must be sketchy for the sightless—never knowing if the alleged perfect 10 model they’re with is actually Joe-Joe the she-male from around the way.

To help combat extreme horniness of the unsighted, PornForTheBlind, a not-for-profit organization, has been created. The website features monotone guest speakers (think Ben Stein) reading descriptions of top-notch porno scenes without leaving out a single detail. You can even choose from their list of “requested” sites and help out by doing your own reading of a sex scene. We compiled a few standout audio clips that we think would definitely get our blind brethren excited for your listening pleasure. Be thankful you have 20/20 vision after the jump.

Popularity: 85% [?]

Invasion Of The ’70s Brazilian Porn Posters

These days, there isn’t much “art” in porno advertisements—throw an 18 year old girl spread eagle on the cover and you’re good to go. But back in the ’70s, Brazil’s cinema produced a string of “pornochanchada” movies that had shockingly playful, vibrant poster art. “Pornochanchada” flicks were a unique mix of soft-core porn and light comedy that became less popular in the ’80s as the hardcore porn became available on VHS. The genre might be gone, but the posters were recently collected by Little-Pumpkins for a retrospective. Check out some more relatively safe for work selections after the jump.

Popularity: 89% [?]

Jenna Jameson Might Eat Your Brains

Click on the image to view the full Zombie Strippers poster.

By the looks of the movie poster for Zombie Strippers, Jenna Jameson resembles her old self, before she looked like a collagen-injected carrot. The porn queen is starring in this upcoming horror flick along side her UFC fighter boyfriend Tito Ortiz and Robert Englund (you may know him as Freddy Krueger). While it was supposed to go straight to DVD, we’ve just learned that Zombie Strippers will be opening in limited theaters on April 18th. Watch the trailer after the jump.

Popularity: 85% [?]

Internet Porn Outlawed In Indonesia

Photo: Chrissy Angliker

The parliament in Indonesia has passed a a new bill criminalizing the act of viewing pornographic images online. If you’re found guilty, you might have to spend three years in prison.

The debate over nudie images heated up in 2006, when Playboy Indonesia opened up shop. Despite the fact that this edition of the mag contained no actual nudity, it was the subject of relentless protests from the 85% Muslim population.

Damn. Looks like our Indonesian brethren are going to have to settle for videos of (fine ass) Miss Indonesia in a bikini. Watch one after the jump…

Popularity: 89% [?]