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Live From The DNC: Day 3

[All week long, writer Brad Listi will be reporting for Complex at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Check back each day for an update!]

Got a floor pass last night at the Democratic National Convention and was able to wander amid the throngs in the belly of the beast for nearly an hour. Being at the Democratic National Convention is not unlike being in the live studio audience for a taping of the American Idol finale. It has a sort of game show feel—slick, with cheesy music. Shiny. And hyper-produced.

As I told a friend this morning: It’s kinda like a game show with serious geopolitical military consequences.

The folks in attendance run the gamut: Bigwig donors, left-wing zealots, ecstatic delegates, angry activists—you name it…

Joe Biden and Joe Budden: Separated at Birth?

Today marks the third of four days at the Democratic National Convention, and tonight is the much-anticipated speech by presumptive vice-presidental nominee Joe Budden Biden. Sure, our prediction was spot on, because we’re nice like that, but we couldn’t help thinking that the Delaware senator has more in common with Jersey Joe than just a homophonic name (ayo!). In fact, if you break it down to the very last compound, Joe Biden is the Joe Budden of politics.

Peep the similarities before Senator Jumpoff grabs the mic tonight…

Live From The DNC: Day 2

[All week long, writer Brad Listi will be reporting for Complex at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Check back each day for an update!]

The crazy factor here in Denver is pretty pronounced. I had expected this to be the case, but still I find myself continually surprised by just how many wackjobs have come crawling out of the proverbial wood work to make their case before the American people.

Case in point: This morning, as I made my way through downtown, I came upon a woman standing in the middle of the road, holding a sign that read “STOP BIRD PORN.” Beside her was a guy with a battery-powered megaphone, delivering the anti-bird-porn message to a thoroughly confused populace.

What is bird porn?

Get To Know The Real Denver

Every politician, journalist, hanger-on, celebrity-with-a-cause, and enterprising hooker north of Mexico is descending on Denver this week for the Democratic National Convention, so there’s been no shortage of guides to the Mile High City. But with all the attention being paid to keynote speeches and power lunches, it’s high time someone presented the real dirt on a place best known for oxygen deprivation and an eponymous omelet…

Complex Plays The Obama VP Sweepstakes

Tomorrow, our man B.O. unveils his vice-presidential pick at a rally in Springfield, Illinois. People much, much smarter than us have already narrowed the field to some real politicians–Joe Biden, Tim Kaine, Evan Bayh, and Kathleen Sebelius–and that’s all well and good, but we’re thinking that perhaps Barack needs to think outside the box to shore up support, so we rounded up his best bets for second banana. Pause.

The Best Of The Worst Anti-Asian Racism

Hateful, offensive humor has only a few easy targets left: gays, retards, and—our personal favorite—Asians. So we weren’t really surprised to see the Spanish Olympic basketball team making a “Me Chinese!” slanty-eyed gesture for a magazine ad. You think that’s offensive? Ho Rearry?? We put the Spanish ad up against other recent examples of anti-Asian racism in the media using our exclusive Chinaman rating scale…

Which Politician Had The Hottest Mistress?

In the post-Lewinsky era, there are no secrets. No matter how tiny an extra-marital indiscretion might be, the press will find out the dirtiest details (and probably make some up along the way). Nowadays, it’s best to come clean before the digging even starts.

John Edwards found that out late last week when the National Inquirer ran a report about his affair, forcing him to own up to it on Friday. But this was only the latest in a long string of political affairs that have been exposed in the last 8 months. Which politician had the best reason for steppin’ out? See all the mistresses and vote below…

‘Get Your War On’ Gets Its Animation On

Right after 9/11 came along and broke a couple of buildings off in our ass, cartoonist Davd Rees (who first emerged with My Fighting Technique is Unstoppable) gave us all a much-needed catharsis with his insanely profane and hilarious Get Your War On series of clip-art comics.

Now it’s almost seven years later and we’re less freaked out than we are in utter disbelief at the major hoodwinking we (and the rest of the world) received at the hands of our functionally retarded president. Well, guess what? Get Your War On is back, it’s as pissed-off as ever…and it’s on video! Watch the promo and first two episodes below.

Dirty Secrets Of The Founding Fathers

Unless you’re a complete idiot, you’ve probably figured out by now that America is all about hypocrisy. How else do we explain the fact that the same men who wrote things like “all men are created equal” went home and whipped the fuck out of their slaves? So in honor of our great country’s Independence Day, we thought it would be good to go beyond the myths and expose the side of our founding fathers that they don’t tell you in the history books.

Even aside from that whole “slavery” debacle, our country’s earliest leaders were no angels. A closer look at the lives of politicians like Benjamin Franklin, George Washington and Alexander Hamilton reveals that they all had a few unsavory incidents in their past. After the jump, read about five dirty secrets that the founding fathers wish we would forget.

PistolCam Watches Who You Shoot

In today’s post-Sean Bell society, somebody needs to keep a close eye on where these trigger-happy officers are firing. Some New York cops seem to have recently found a solution in the PistolCam, a gadget that records video of your gun’s point of view.

With one of these bad boys mounted on the barrel, we’ll have clear evidence of what really happened in those controversial few moments when the bullets start flying. The camera, which can record up to an hour of MPEG4 audio and video, is automatically turned on when the gun is removed from its holster. The company claims that video documentation exonerates police officers in 93% of cases where they’re accused of brutality. Now we just have to keep an eye on that remaining 7% to make sure they don’t “lose” the tape. Watch some PistolCam footage after the jump.