Democrats seriously got caught slipping this week. In what’s being described as one of the most influential upsets ever, Republican Scott Brown played the political BS game much more shrewdly to swoop the late Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat and throw President Obama’s plans into disarray. Curses! The health care bill and other Democratic reform plans are now in jeopardy as Brown’s victory breaks the 60-vote majority. Operation gridlock.

The real loser, once again, is the two-party system. While countries such as Australia enjoy a system of proportional representation, Americans are stuck with the red or blue pill. Either way, it’s still the matrix. Brown’s supporters felt disillusioned with the country but seem to have the memory of a goldfish. Somehow, the Republican party is going to deliver jobs and improve their lives. Yeah, OK. While some Democrats are shaking with frustration, others view the loss as a blessing in disguise. But to understand what led to this historical upset, here’s a look at the top reasons… 

Massachusetts Not As Liberal As Once Thought
• John Kerry’s home state has long been stereotyped as a bastion of liberalism. Not necessarily the case. The Boston Red Sox were the last MLB team to integrate, as Massachusetts has a long history of racial tensions— most recently displayed with the fiasco surrounding Professor Henry Louis Gates’ false arrest. Also, one of the leading candidates for running against Obama in 2012 is their former Republican Governor, Mitt “Goody Two Shoes” Romney.

Brown Called Himself An “Independent”
• Brown embraced the most overused and meaningless term in politics today – a so called independent. “I don’t need the man, I got my own money!” But it seemed to work. The cliche of an outsider coming to shake up Washington like a frustrated babysitter never seems to get old. But to think that Brown will do anything other than hop on the right-wing stonewall machine is delusional. He just wants to be down.

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Tea Party Movement Went In
• It looks like those Tea Party cooks are a bit more organized and financed than previously given credit. They certainly repped a lot harder for their candidate than any Democrat grass-roots movement did for Martha Coakley. Even while Brown was calling Obama an “outsider” who should stay away from the race, right wing activists came from all over the country to influence the outcome. The Tea Party Express PAC contributed almost $300,000 on email newsletters alone. As you can see in this clip, the battle’s just begun.

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President Obama’s Supporters Slept
• Since election, Obama’s been governing like a centrist and his fiery supporters are getting disillusioned. In an attempt to push the Republicans all the way right, he’s tried to maintain a corny bipartisan aura. I say, go hard or go home. Well, many of his base chose to go home when it came to Martha Coakley. Hopefully, Obama steps it up or soon he might have to step down.

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Released Nude Pics
• Pause in advance. It was clear from early in Scott Brown’s career that he was willing to strip to sell records. Whatever works for you, guy. Engaging in questionable print porn was apparently all good with his supporters. Hey, they might be progressive after all.   

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Used His Daughters 
• When Martha Coakley attacked Brown for opposing contraception for rape victims, his daughter, Ayla, a former American Idol alum, stepped in to defend her daddy. During his acceptance speech, Brown took it one step further and almost pimped out his daughters, letting the world at large know they were “both available”. *wink, wink*   

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Got Support From Curt Schilling
• If there’s an endorsement voters should pay attention to, it’s that of a multi-millionaire athlete. They’re always looking out for the people’s best interest. Curt “Bloody Sock In Game 6″ Schilling threw his born-again Christian support behind Brown, similar to when he backed George Bush against Kerry. Strikeout. 

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Brown Drove His Truck Everywhere
• Voters are extremely susceptible to illusions. Despite advocating policies that benefit pharmaceutical companies and Wall Street executives, Brown drove his 2005 GMC Canyon pickup everywhere to portray himself as an everyday worker. And the people gotten taken for a ride. 

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Democrats Dropped The Ball
• For all the tactics enacted from Brown and his team, the real enabler was the Democrats’ slip-ups. Martha Coakley might become a euphemism for campaign incompetence. She came across as cold and aloof with a sense of entitlement towards the Senate seat. Hopefully the lessons learned this time around can put some fire under the Democrats, otherwise it’s back to the Bush era.  

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Televangelist shock-jock, Pat Robertson, added a new notch to his belt of offensive statements this week when he claimed that the devastating earthquake in Haiti was a result of the country’s “pact to the devil”. What the hell?! As the founder of America’s infamous Christian Coalition, Robertson has a staggering record of outrageous commentary that is almost comedic if it didn’t involve human tragedies. It’s surprising that such a bat-shit crazy bible beater is regarded as relevant enough to even warrant responses from Ambassadors and major media outlets. But he does.

Similar to his talk-show counterpart, Rush Limbaugh , Pat has made a long career on incendiary hate mongering that somehow finds a dedicated audience. To get an idea of the man who Republicans still repeatedly seek endorsements from, here’s a rundown of his wall of shame…

Says US Constitution Is For Christians Only, 1981
The majority of Robertson’s disturbing remarks occur on his TV show, The 700 Club – founded in 1963 and aired worldwide with one million viewers daily in America alone. Soon after Reagan’s election, Robertson explained to his audience that non-Christians threaten American society: “The Constitution of the United States, for instance, is a marvelous document for self-government by the Christian people. But the minute you turn the document into the hands of non-Christian people and atheistic people they can use it to destroy the very foundation of our society. And that’s what’s been happening.” God help us.

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Claims Feminism Encourages Killing Children, 1992
In a fundraising letter to supporters, the former GOP candidate spews almost laughable accusations towards the feminist movement: “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” Someone needs to get laid.

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Warns Orlando Of Meteor Attacks After Gay Pride Festival, 1998
A long-time gay basher, Self-Righteous Robertson reacts to Orlando’s Gay Days Festival by threatening retaliation via God. Speaking to his base of anti-tolerance, Pat makes a prediction: “If the widespread practice of homosexuality will bring about the destruction of your nation..it’ll bring about earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor”. No reports of meteors at press time. 

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Says America Deserved 9/11, September 2001
Too soon? Robertson thinks not. Echoing fellow televangelist Jerry Falwell’s claim that America “deserved” the attacks on 9/11, Patriotic Pat shows no shame. He claimed God stopped protecting America due to abortion rights and the promotion of secularization. Former NYC Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, would later gladly accept Robertson’s endorsement for President. 

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Calls For The Assassination Of Hugo Chavez, August 2005
Acting as a good Christian imperialist, Rambo Robertson urges the assassination of Venezuela’s President, mainly  because Chavez already thinks America has it out for him. Whoa. Notice how Robertson’s main rational is financial: “it’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war”. So much for human life.  

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Links Hurricane Katrina To Legalized Abortion, September 2005
Rather than offering “compassionate conservatism” to the victims of Katrina, Robertson chastises America. Like a sick madman, he uses the hurricane’s devastation as evidence that God has retaliated for legalized abortion: “the land will vomit you out”. *Barf*

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Compares Homosexuality To Pedophilia, October 2006 
After the Republican creep, Mark Foley, was exposed for trying to seduce teenage male pages, Robertson offered the GOP advice for dealing with the political fallout. Rather than make a big deal out of the situation, the preacher saw this as another opportunity for the right wing to bash gays: “Just say well, this man’s gay; he does what gay people do and so don’t worry about it.” What, me worry?

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Claims Non-Christians Worship Demonic Powers, November 2006
Responding to a viewer’s question regarding religious tolerance, Pat The Extremist had a simple answer: “There is the god of the Bible, who is Jehovah…He is the God of all Gods. These others are mostly demonic powers. Sure they’re demons.  There are many demons in the world.” Good lord. 

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Worries That Hate Crime Bill Protects Beastiality, April 2009
In another case where disregard for humanity meets insanity, Robertson scoffs at new Hate Crime legislation. Concerned that the bill goes too far, the man of God asks if the bill protects someone who “likes to have sex with ducks”. What a quack. 

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Blames Haiti’s Earthquake On Their “Pact To The Devil” January 2010
Like an emotionally detached sociopath, Robertson delivered one of his most outrageously disturbing charges towards the people of Haiti. With thousands of bodies dead in the streets and rescue teams desperately trying to find survivors, the evil televangelist goes for blood. Rambling about Napoleon and Haiti’s history of resistance to slavery, Robertson claims that the Haitian people are eternally cursed for making a deal with the devil. Man, STFU. As for Robertson, there’s a special place in Hell reserved for him.   

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2009 was a tough year. Perhaps appropriately so, considering that the last decade was one of intense political turmoil, largely due to the Bush regime. So when President Obama took office, expectations were almost unrealistically high. While the jury’s still out on his legacy – and won’t surface for several more years – his rookie season is in the books and worth reflection. But last year wasn’t all about Obama. Numerous political figures put their stamp on history for better or worse. Let’s review…

Top 10 Best Political Moments

President Obama Is Inaugurated, January 20
• In what was one of the few political events I ever attended to actually support a politician, the D.C. inauguration was easily the most historic political moment of 2009. With about as many authorities as crowd participants, America’s first black President officially ushered in a new era, despite Justice Roberts flubbing the oath of office.

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Arlen Specter Becomes A Democrat, April 28
• Regardless of Sen. Specter’s motives for defecting, his move was a significant come-up for the blue team. After 44 years of repping the GOP, the Pennsylvanian moved across the aisle to give Democrats that 60-vote squad they would need in crunch time. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

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Obama Pledges To Close Gitmo, May 21
• Acting on one of his campaign promises, Obama vowed to reverse one of the former administration’s most high profile illegal creations. But it hasn’t been easy. After congress rejected the President’s $80 million request to make the closure possible, he came up with a new plan to relocate the prisoners to Illinois. While it’s doubtful that simply shifting Gitmo inmates to a U.S. facility is any more humane, it does set the groundwork for their day in court – a necessary right in any self-respecting industrialized nation.

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Obama’s Cairo Speech, June 4
• Bush’s war presidency and boasts of a “crusade” seemed pretty disturbing to many Muslims across the globe. After Obama endured twisted accusations by the right of being secretly an Islamic agent infiltrating America, he gracefully reached out to the Muslim world to try and ease the cultural tensions. Still waiting on the outcome.

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Bill Clinton Rescues Prisoners, August 4
• Clinton’s ego remained bruised after his wife got shafted in the primaries. Leave it to Kim Jong-Il to reinstate Clinton’s sense of relevancy after requesting the fellow playboy to swoop two American journalists in a classic case of diplomatic chess. Bubba was back to his old tricks.

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Sonia Sotomayor Is Confirmed, August 8
• After a racially charged hearing, the Senate finally confirmed the Supreme Court’s first Latina Justice. Lou Dobbs, eat your heart out.

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Obama Accepts Nobel Peace Prize, October 9
• Hating on Obama for receiving a Nobel Peace Prize is like hating on your mom for wearing a “mom of the year” shirt. It’s just mean-spirited. Sure, there might have been other candidates who also deserved the nod, but they didn’t win. Maybe next year. For now, salute this man for his accomplishments and let’s hope he leaves a proud legacy. If not, we’ll riot. Deal?

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Meghan McCain’s Twitter Cleavage Shot, October 18
• Just as Lil’ Maverick was struggling to define her voice as a political contender, she suffered an attention-craving slip up, live on Twitter. After posting a soft porn pic typically reserved for aspiring MySpace models, conservatives were aghast. Meghan quickly apologized, but personally I think she’s found her calling. She should release a new pic every morning on her blog – call it the “daily beast”. #noshots

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Sarah Palin Releases “Going Rogue”, November 17
•America’s most famous Alaskan helped to heighten the buffoonery of the Republican Party with her catty memoir. Keep it coming, baby. The more she shines, the more it’s lights out for her party.

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Health Care Bill Passes In Senate, December 21
•”Better than nothing” has been the consensus for the health care bill that squeaked its way through the senate at the end of the year. Despite criticism that it protects the health of pharmaceutical companies more than patients, the people were sick of waiting.

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Top 10 Worst Political Moments of 2009

Billion Dollar Bailouts, January – April
•It’s funny how Capitalist CEO’s hate elements of socialism until they’re about to lose their jobs and go broke. Then they show-up begging for government safety nets. Oh, the hypocrisy. With a bailout tab exceeding $12.2 trillion, the staggering stimulus was supposed to ease the economic drought by trickling down water. But it sure smelled like piss.

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Blagojevich Gets Impeached, January 9
•As one of the most peculiar political oddballs in the game, Blagojevich was officially booted at the top of the year for trying to slang Obama’s senate seat. While awaiting trial, he’s gone on the offense. Not only is he set to appear on the new Celebrity Apprentice, but his wife, Patti, sought sympathy on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Chances are, Rod will also be featured on the spin-off, I’m In Jail, Get Me Out Of Here.

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Banks Award Bonuses, February – December
•In the summer, nine banks that received billions of dollars in government aid, dished out a total of $33 billion in executive bonuses (cross out bonuses) awards – including more than $1 millie a piece to almost 5,000 employees. The Feds moaned and waved their finger. In December, the banks did it again. The President moaned and waved his finger. In 2010…

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Rise Of The Tea Party Movement, February
•It’s not entirely clear if the Tea Party clan was a direct wing of FOX News, but the gun-toting right-wing extremists got major coverage this year. I don’t know what was in their tea, but they were pissed.

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Governor Mark Sanford Caught Cheating, June 24
•In the top political sex scandal of the year, “Mountain Hiker” Mark fronted like he was whistling Dixie in the Appalachians when he was wetting his whistle with an Argentinean slide. After some public humiliation and time at divorce court, dude’s still the S.C. Governor. Go figure.

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Professor Gates Is Falsely Arrested, July 16
•In one of the more awkward scenarios thrown at the rookie Prez, Obama inserted himself in Boston’s racial profiling episode, which ended in the unprecedented beer summit. *Gulp*

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Ted Kennedy Dies, August 25
•The patriarch of American liberal leadership spent decades putting in work for the people. One of his last deeds was co-signing Obama to accelerate the primary momentum over Hillary. RIP.

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Joe Wilson Yells “You Lie”, September 9
•Rep. Wilson wins the “asshole of the year” award after infamously heckling the Prez, which was part of an escalating series of racist attacks towards Obama. A week after the outburst, Wilson raised $1.8 million from his supporters despite a formal admonishment from the House. He also got an SNL skit dedicated on his behalf .

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White House Party Crashers, November 24
•With all the hysteria surrounding potential attacks, it was not a good look when secret service agents let two uninvited weirdos into the state dinner. New reports also suggest that a third guest snuck into the event as well. What is this, the movie theatre? Well, tell those guards it’s curtains.

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President Obama Escalates Afghan War, December 1
•All political maneuvering aside, Obama seriously let me down with this one. Yea sure, 30,000 more troops will do it! I’m still trying to figure out why we’re really there.

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Nobody epitomizes the cynical, self-serving snake oil politician more than Joe Lieberman. Dude is a piece of work. Plucked from national obscurity to run as Gore’s VP pick in 2000, the Connecticut lawyer has gone on to repeatedly stab his former party in the back like a vengeful infiltrator sent to settle a personal score. His latest bitch move involves him putting the “buster” in filibuster. Operating essentially as a prostitute for health insurance companies, Lieberman demanded Democrats this week to strip health care reform of the public option and Medicare expansion or he would hold back his support, which is necessary for the 60 votes it needs to pass in the senate. 

As it stands, the health care bill doesn’t seem to really offer much change that Obama promised in his campaign, and the President has been rightfully feeling the wrath from progressives and Democratic leadership. While the debate continues over how effective Obama has been with reform, it’s worth shedding light on his opponents who clearly provide significant obstacles. To get a sense of the slimy opportunistic baller blocking at work, here is a rundown of Joe “Public option Enemy #1″ Lieberman’s biggest snake moves…              

Supported Bush Policies, 2001
• One could almost blame Gore for heightening Lieberman’s profile with the VP nod, but that’s the risk with co-signs. Not long after Bush stole the election, Joe Blow wasted no time hopping on his jock, especially when it came to the “War On Terror”. Shortly after 9/11, he expanded a conservative group he founded with Lynne Cheney – ACTA – to try and blacklist professors who question U.S. foreign policy. He then vigorously supported the Iraq War and backed Alberto Gonzales’ memo to disregard the Geneva Conventions in support of torture. Now, that hurts.   

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Aligns With Religious Right Over Terri Schiavo, 2005
• While campaigning for the Democratic primary in Connecticut’s senate race, Lieberman defends his decision to stand with the “pro-lifers” during the tacky political tug-of-war surrounding Terri Schiavo, who was in a vegetative state for several years. After Schiavo died, the late Tim Russert asks Lieberman if he regretted his stance. Clinging to his conservative political opportunism, St. Joey reaffirms on the boob-tube, “I would have kept the tube in.” *DEAD*

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Switches To Independent Party, 2006
• Taking Too $hort’s advice to get in where you fit in, Joey pulls the ultimate self-centered chess move after failing to secure Connecticut’s Democratic primary election. Still intent on running CT like the kid Big Mike, Loser Lieberman goes the “indie” route to win re-election. Conservative slime balls couldn’t have been more thrilled, considering that dozens came out in support – including Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. Joe now began looking like Michael Rapaport in Higher Learning. “Look, my new friends!”    

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Endorses John McCain, 2008
• If there was any doubt that Lieberman had gone rogue, it became as clear as his hair after endorsing Team Maverick. Not only did Joey Two-Time repeatedly slander Senator Obama, but he delivered the ultimate you-played-yourself blow by giving the keynote address at the Republican National Convention. Similar to a strategic hip-hop battle, McCain gassed his good friend up into thinking he’d sign him to the team, used him for promotion, and then swooped a younger and even crazier draft pick. Blame it on the record(s) .

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Blocks Genuine Health Reform, 2009
• It’s not surprising that Lieberman threatened to filibuster the health care bill considering that he has received $920,000 in campaign contributions from health insurance companies since 2005. F the people, he doesn’t want to upset his political connects. Lieberman, who himself receives government-run health care, argues that Obama’s plan is costly and would raise the deficit – never mind that the U.S. spends $5,000-a-second for the Iraq War. It looks like the administration is willing to endlessly compromise for the sake of political points it might gain for passage, but with adversaries like Lieberman, it’s hard not to feel Obama’s pain.

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The 26-year sentence handed down to American Amanda Knox in Italy last Friday sparked fiery debate about the fairness of international trials. Convicted of murdering her roommate with a knife, the evidence was largely based on demonizing her character as a sinister sex-freak, and serious doubts have been raised about her guilt. Although the American judicial system is no stranger to wrongful convictions or false imprisonments, mass media heightens the coverage when U.S. citizens get locked up in foreign territories – usually due to the detainee’s affluent status.

Each year over 3,000 Americans are arrested abroad, with the majority occurring in Mexico, likely due to its close proximity to the States. And the punishments range in severity. So to put Knox’s sentence into perspective and to avoid similar scenarios, here’s some other high-profile detainments of Yankees on foreign soil …  

Johnny Cash, El Paso, Texas, 1965
• Step your stash spot up. While on tour in Mexico, authorities arrested The Man In Black after finding hundreds of tranquilizers, amphetamines and prescription pills in his guitar case. D’oh! Claiming that the drugs were for “medicinal use”, Cash pled guilty to a misdemeanor, paid $1,000 and got a suspended sentence. He also spent a night in jail, which may have not been so bad considering that he probably hadn’t slept in weeks.   

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Michael Fay, Singapore, Thailand, 1994  
• Not all countries settle for community service. While living with his mother and step dad in Singapore, a bored 18-year-old Fay got involved in vandalizing some neighborhood cars and stealing traffic signs. He and his co-defendant from Hong Kong were convicted and faced the cruel and unusual punishment of caning. Despite widespread media coverage and intervention from President Clinton, the Singaporean authorities carried out the caning and delivered four strokes [II]. 

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Lori Berenson, Lima, Peru, 1995  
• When deciding to act on your revolutionary ideals, be aware of the potential consequences. Former MIT student, Lori Berenson, was nabbed on a bus in downtown Lima and sentenced to life for allegedly leading a left-wing insurgent organization, MRTA. After intense international pressure, her sentence was reduced to 20 years. She later married a fellow prisoner and gave birth to a baby boy in prison this year. Her advocates claim that the anti-terrorism laws used for her conviction lack due process and violate international law. To clarify, she’s not held in Guantanamo, in case there was any confusion.  

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Dallas Austin, Dubai, UAE, 2006 
• If you plan on experiencing Dubai and all its gaudy amenities, remember to leave the nose candy at home. Grammy-winning producer, Dallas Austin, learned the hard way and received a four-year bid after officials found over a gram of coke and some ecstasy pills while heading to Naomi Campbell’s b-day function. A robust coalition – including Lionel Ritchie and Sen. Orrin Hatch – rushed to Austin’s defense and convinced authorities to issue a pardon. On his return, Austin’s supporters likely said, “it’s OK to floss/ but it’s still one rule, player, don’t get caught.“

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Laura Ling and Euna Lee, North Korea, 2009 
• Don’t place too much trust in tour guides, especially while reporting on ostracized regimes. While embarking on a story to uncover human rights abuses in North Korea, the two Current TV journalists got betrayed by their travel companion and were arrested near the Chinese border.  It looked like the duo was up shits creek with a 12-year hard labor sentence, until Bubba flew in, sprinkled some diplomatic charisma and took the ladies home on his private jet. “Unfortunately, Hillary couldn’t be here tonight.”

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Three American Hikers, Iran Border, 2009
• While choosing a post-grad vacation spot, the mountains of Iraqi Kurdistan may not be the wisest destination. Three U.C. Berkeley alumni’s - Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Josh Fattal – were arrested and charged with espionage by Iranian authorities after the trio allegedly drifted into Iran’s boundaries. Subsequent pleas by Hillary Clinton have yet to result in the hikers’ release. Various support sites and Facebook groups have been launched to encourage a safe return. 

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Amanda Knox, Perugia, Italy, 2009
• While the stiff sentence has been issued to the 22-year-old Seattle native, the court itself is now on trial amongst public opinion. Knox’s parents spent over $1 million defending their daughter who allegedly slashed Meredith Kercher’s throat in a drug-induced sex rage. Although specific evidence might support the prosecution’s theory, there are considerable lingering questions that lean more towards a cover-up than a case closed. To be continued.

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When the Virginia couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, hustled their way into last week’s White House state dinner, it put the Secret Service on blast. Luckily, the two social climbers’ intentions were more self-serving than sinister and none of the top-ranking guests were harmed. But it now has members of congress asking the agency’s leaders, “would you take a bullet for your homie?”
 
The Secret Service was created in 1865 to suppress counterfeiting but moved into presidential protection in 1902 – a year after President William McKinley got assassinated. Their track record is relatively strong for defending against attacks, but there have been serious failures over time – some far more impactful than others. To reflect on the seriousness of security lapses, here are some of the more well-known mishaps by the Commander-In-Chief’s bodyguards…  

President F.D.R., 1938
• As public anger escalated towards the aspiring reality stars for deceiving the Secret Service, the son of one of F.D.R.’s cabinet members recalled a similar scenario that occurred as the result of a dare. Apparently, two teenagers fronted like they were related to Roosevelt’s secretary of the Treasury, bullshitted their way in and got autographs. Mrs. Roosevelt later hated on the kids for succeeding with the ploy but recognized that they may have received some props in their inner circles. That’s right, there was White House party crashing long before reality TV. 

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President Eisenhower, 1953
• During Eisenhower’s first inauguration, a professional cowboy, Montie Montana, surprised Secret Service agents when he approached the stage and slung a lasso around the Prez. Montana later claimed he had Ike’s permission. Blame it on the moonshine.  

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President JFK, 1963
• In what was one of the most controversial Secret Service failures, president Kennedy was hit by a bullet while riding in a presidential motorcade with the top down. Presidential security was relatively limited in those days and the agency was forced to make sweeping changes.   

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President Reagan, 1981
• After two attempts on President Ford’s life were foiled the Secret Service further limited the President’s contact with the general public. However, these new measures didn’t stop John Hinckley Jr. from shooting Reagan in the lung in order to win the heart of Jodie Foster. Reagan is the only U.S. President to survive being shot in an assassination attempt.

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President George W. Bush, 2008
• Regardless of one’s opinion surrounding the projectile protester , it was clearly a Secret Service embarrassment. Journalist, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, hurled not one, but both shoes at Bush’s face, and then yelled at him for a few seconds before being dragged away by Iraqi security who probably beat him for the next nine months. RELATED: Someone now threw a shoe at al-Zeidi last Tuesday in Paris. I quit.    

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President Obama, 2009
• In all fairness to Obama’s team, the attention-starved couple was in fact run through a security checkpoint for weapons. They just weren’t supposed to be there. But a string of issues have raised the level of concern for protecting the nation’s first black president. During the campaign, the Dallas Star-Telegram received hundreds of complaints that the Secret Service failed to screen attendees at a rally. And since taking office, an internal congressional report claimed that the agency was facing deep budget cuts at a time when right-wing protesters are bringing guns to presidential events. Hopefully, the fact that the party got crashed will now make the Secret Service buckle up.

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Ever since John McCain selected Sarah Palin as his Hail Mary running mate, she’s been a treasure chest of entertainment inspiration, comedic relief and controversy. When their ride to the White House crashed, she stuck to her personal maverickness—burning bridges and blazing her own path in the pursuit of attention. Her new ghostwritten bestseller, Going Rogue, digs its literary nails into all her perceived enemies like an insecure disgraced cheerleader enraged at her ex-teammates.

Surely, most politicians possess a level of egotistical self-importance, but Palin displays a unique disregard for public service, her family and former colleagues. Her willingness to blurt out whatever talking point is politically advantageous shades any minuscule shred of credibility she retained following the election. She’s just trying to get paid. To zero in on her leadership style, here’s some of her most rogue moments…  

Resigns As Governor
• With over a year left in her first term as Alaska’s Governor, Palin spontaneously resigned and gave up her only remote qualification for seeking higher office. The former point guard compared her decision to making a pass in a basketball game, but it was more like faking an injury in the playoffs. Deep down, she wanted to play one-on-one in the rogue league.

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Claims Aids Forbid Her From SNL
• Palin devotes considerable time in her book trashing her former colleagues. One of the many accusations surrounded SNL and its infamous mockery of the self-proclaimed hockey mom. In Going Rogue, she accuses campaign aides of dissuading her from appearing on the show to display her mature sense of humor. Campaign manager, Steve Schmidt, who looks like Dr. Evil, responded with emails that claim the exact opposite was true. *Yawn* I mean, despite Palin’s penchant for pathological lying, it’s equally ridiculous to accept information from McCain’s cronies as truthful.

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Attacks Katie Couric
• If there was a watershed moment that exposed Palin’s lack of education, it was hands-down the Katie Couric interview. Bad blood lingered between the two ever since, with both consistently taking shots at one another. So it’s no surprise that Palin’s book continues assaulting the CBS anchor and the rest of the “lamestream media”. While sitting down with Oprah, she whines for sympathy while bashing Couric for having the nerve to ask her what newspapers she reads. It’s pretty obvious that the experience left an indelible humiliation, if one reads between the lines.  

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Recants Family Vote Story
• When she’s not stabbing old colleagues in the back or lambasting “gotcha” journalists, the mother of five admits that she doesn’t really listen to her family. Even more disturbing, she apparently flat-out lied during the campaign about holding a good ‘ol fashioned family vote to decide if she should accept the VP nomination. It’s all about Sarah. For whatever reason, Palin now claims that her kids had no voice in the decision to be paraded on TV as the folksy American family. Oops, too late guys.

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Supports Racial Profiling
• Many pundits clearly speculate that Palin’s rogue campaign is foreshadowing her possible run in 2012. Despite obvious hurdles, it would be naive to dismiss her potential appeal considering that Americans elected Bush twice. To get an idea of what sort of policies she would condone, Palin gives a revealing interview to Sean “I’d leave my wife for you, Sarah” Hannity. While discussing the Fort Hood massacre, Palin goes rogue on civil rights, throwing her full support behind outright profiling. But, fortunately, it’ll take a lot more than book sales to implement Sarah Palin’s creepy America.

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After over 30 years of association with CNN, Lou Dobbs resigned his post yesterday as in-house xenophobe, and will now most likely head over to FOX. While unsurprising, it’s not entirely clear what closed the deal for his pink slip. Perhaps it was the continual calls for his ouster by opponents, or maybe it was the gun shots fired at his New Jersey home last month. Whatever the case, adios, cabrón!

The patronizing pseudo-journalist built his recent career around fomenting fear and hatred towards “illegal” undocumented workers who probably helped supply many of the fruits and vegetables he ate in his 300-acre upscale horse farm. While identifying himself as part of the conveniently-ambiguous “independent” political movement, it was clear that Lou “I’m married to a Latina, so I can’t be racist” Dobbs, was dealing with anger issues as an aging white man clinging to the good ol’ days. So, to celebrate his overdue departure, here’s a look at some of the events leading up to his exit…

Calls Opponents Out Of Their “Cotton Picking Mind”
• Although Dobbs dedicated much of his program to bashing Mexican immigrants, the Texas native couldn’t shake some of his good ol’ boy habits when referring to African-American political opponents. In a classic case of Freudian slips, he begins to racially slur Condi Rice before catching himself after realizing he was on national TV and not at the country club. Soon after, while speaking about Congressman Benny Thompson, he just couldn’t hold back.

Distorts Leprosy Reports
• To heighten his smear campaign, “Leprosy Lou” claims that over the past three years, there have been 7,000 cases of leprosy reported in the U.S. And guess what—it’s all from immigrants who cross the border illegally. When confronted by Lesley Stahl that he left a zero off that three, Lou Snobb retorts with a delusional self-righteousness typically reserved for Glenn Beck: “If we reported it, it’s a fact.” OK, guy.

Promotes Birther Movement
• Dobbs covered his territory of xenophobia well. When the birther movement gained coverage for suggesting President Obama was truly a foreign agent, Louie was intrigued. After continuing to propagate suspicions of Obama’s legitimacy, Dobbs defends the slimy conspiracy clan while reprimanding Roland Martin like a paternal fourth-grade teacher. FOH

Defends “Illegal Alien” Halloween Costume
• Lou was outraged that his “ethno-centric” opponents would protest an “illegal alien” Halloween costume that included an orange jump suit, green card and alien mask. Never mind the fact the over 700 Mexicans died in 2008 trying to cross the border into America, Dobbs thinks that the costume is funny. Reality show idea: Lou and his caller from San Bernardino work in the fields wearing the costume for 8 weeks—the winner is awarded a job with minimum wage.

Gets His Crib Shot Up
• This wasn’t the first time that Lou and his wife were involved in gunplay, as his boo was once busted for trying to smuggle a loaded handgun onto a flight at Newark Airport.  However, it’s not everyday that political commentators get their house tatted up with bullets. And whoever was trying to send a message apparently got through—Dobbs called it quits less than two weeks later. No comment.

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Michael Steele has a tough job. Clearly exploited by Republicans for his assumed appeal to a diverse populace, the RNC Chairman is consistently mocked by both sides of the aisle. With a long history of GOP service, the son of a military man is now on the front lines of the GOP’s image makeover. And it’s ugly out there. His awkward attempt to co-opt “hip-hop slang”—such as referring to Obama’s stimulus plan as “bling bling“—has been embarrassing, if not offensive.

But that’s not to say he lacks any supporters. Even Mike Tyson, who was once married to Steele’s sister, considers him a long-time friend and once offered to literally fight on his behalf. And with some GOP victories in Tuesday’s election—most notably, governorships in Virginia and New Jersey—Steele was feeling himself. Now with chatter of possibly running against Obama in 2012, it’s important to get up to speed with Steele’s most recent nail-on-the-chalkboard moments…

Expresses His Admiration For Hip-Hop
• After the outpouring of support for Obama from the hip-hop community, the RNC just wanted to be down. Steele, who has been an active Republican since 1975, simultaneously tries to big up the culture for breaking down stereotypes while at the same time assuming that every black rapper is from the PJs. Chuck D’s response: don’t believe the hype.

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Apologizes To Rush Limbaugh
• As Steele was fighting for respect from Chuck D and D.L. “Can’t We All Just Get Along” Hughley, he threw some shots at Rush “The Liability” Limbaugh. After the right-wing power elite reminded Steele that he was merely a puppet, reduced to micro-managed talking points, he issued a humiliating apology. Although his recanting was indeed embarrassing, this mockery from the Morning Joe staff is its own cause for some vomit-a-little-in-my-mouth action. Oh, now you’re a “moderate,” Scarborough?    

   
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Shouts Out “Slum Love” To Bobby Jindal
• Not only does Steele continue to show his level of cultural ineptitude, but he exposes himself as an easily impressionable guy who will say almost anything to make people feel more comfortable. Professional weirdo Curtis Sliwa—most known for surviving an alleged hit by John Gotti Jr.—eggs him into a racist shout-out to fellow Republican Bobby Jindal. Steele takes the bait, and what follows: *shivers*

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Says GOP Will Attract Minorities With “Fried Chicken”
• Nothing caused more backlash to the RNC head honcho than this clip of him speaking on minority recruitment tactics. While addressing a group of young Republicans, the grandson of South Carolinian sharecroppers jokes that he’ll attract voters with fried chicken and potato salad—then quickly invokes Abe Lincoln. Yikes!

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Assumes The Heisman Position
• Following some GOP victories in this week’s elections, Steele was quick to throw out the humble pie and impersonate a certain college-football trophy. Whoa there, champ. With a knack for these outbursts, let’s hope he does get that Republican nomination in 2012.     

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***BONUS:

Steele Wins Rap Battle Against Steve Colbert
• The editing on Steele’s verse is classic.

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It’s been an embarrassing month for Rush Limbaugh: rejected by the NFL; humiliated for running with a false story about President Obama’s “thesis”; even clowned by Dr. Dre. And I’m sure there’s more to come. Limbaugh’s multi-million dollar ascent is proof that hate-mongering is a lucrative business. As a rapper once said, “f*ck livin’ positive, cause negativity spreads faster” . But with Racist Rush’s profile as high as ever, it’s only a matter of time before his stumbles make him fall off into the world of disregarded crackpots. To get up to speed, here’s some of Limbaugh’s biggest L’s…

Gets Embarrassed As A Guest Host, 1990
After moving from Sacramento to start a new radio show in NYC, the Missouri-native drew notice from The New York Times as his  conservative rants grew in popularity. Pat Sajack, a long-time Republican supporter, allowed the young Limbaugh to guest host his short-lived talk-show. Things didn’t go so well. A group of pro-choice activists infiltrated the audience, and what would follow – a priceless moment in television.

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Fired From ESPN After Racist Comments, September 2003
Limbaugh tried to go mainstream, but the racism inside was just too deep. Only a few weeks into his stint as an ESPN commentator, he has a redneck convulsion attack. Too disgusted to accept that one of the league’s top quarterbacks wasn’t a white man, Limbaugh removes his clan hood to the dismay of his colleagues. Ruh-roh.

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Admits Addiction To Painkillers, October 2003
After years of advocating strict sentences for drug offenders, the hypocritical Limbaugh was forced into rehab after his former housekeeper outed him for pill addiction, which he purchased illegally. Chances are, their conversation went something like, “Is you rollin’?” “B*tch I might be.”

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Critiziced By Republican Vet For “Operation Chaos”, April 2009
You know you’re on the far far right, when your conservative fan base starts calling you brainwashed. During the primaries, Rush launched “Operation Chaos”, which encouraged his GOP listeners to register as Democrats and vote for Hillary to disrupt the Democratic Convention. It was a FAIL. After Obama’s presidential success, a veteran calls in to express his disgust for Limbaugh’s twisted tactics and prolonged support for torture. Limbaugh’s response: “No, you’re brainwashed!” *Pops OxyContin*  

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Loses NFL Bid Due To Controversy, October 2009
Money can’t buy you love, and in some cases, a pro football team. Despite his exorbitant wealth, the league voted against his bid to purchase the St. Louis Rams and build an “All-Limbaugh Dream Team”. Well, it’s good to see democracy as a check and balance to financial power. Now about that Mayor’s race…

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Falls For College Thesis Hoax, October 2009
Just as Rush was licking his wounds after getting sacked, he swears he stumbles on a come-up to further blame “Obama’s America”. Relying on an unsourced blogger who mistook an intentional joke as fact, Limbaugh went it. Referring to the Prez as “a little boy”, Rush essentially accuses Obama of having Bill Ayers write his term paper, exposing his true beliefs as a radical. When humiliated mid-show that his evidence was bunk, Rush doesn’t care. After all, who needs credibility when your ratings keep soaring.  

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In 1996, shortly after Republicans took control of Congress, new draconian immigration laws were enforced that encourage authorities to deport convicted criminals to their native country, even if the individual is a legal resident. The law is xenophobic at its core. In fact, US-born citizens are five times as likely to go to prison than those born elsewhere. But after 9/11, the deportation frenzy intensified. In total, over 700,000 immigrants have been removed from the States since 1997, even for misdemeanor offenses or basic civil immigration violations.

The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) runs their own detainment facilities, which are often outsourced to private companies who have a financial incentive to keep the beds filled. And while inhumane conditions are rampant, coverage is rarely given due to its low-profile residents. But the recent case of celebrity rapper, Shyne—born in Belize but raised in Brooklyn—has pushed the immigration dilemma to the fore-front of pop-culture dialogue. Shyne isn’t the first celebrity to face threats of deportation. Here’s a brief look back…

Marcus Garvey, 1927
The Feds always had their eye on Garvey, looking for a loophole to deport him from the States. After he founded the Universal Negro Improvement Association and made headlines by speaking to 25,000 people at Madison Square Garden, his critics intensified their plot. In November 1919, authorities charged Garvey with mail fraud surrounding his Black Star Line shipping corporation. While there were some accounting irregularities within the company, it was clearly a politically-motivated case. He was convicted and spent two years of a five-year sentence before being deported to Jamaica where he continued his international movement. 

Paul McCartney, 1980
Sir Paul McCartney has been a stoner for quite some time. While passing through customs in Tokyo, officials found over seven ounces of weed in his luggage. Damn, homie. His celebrity status spared him from a potential seven-year bid, but he spent 10 days in the Tokyo bing before deportation back to England. He was again arrested for weed possession in 1984.

Charlize Theron, 1994
The South African actress had a hectic upbringing. A year after witnessing her mother shoot her abusive father to death, Theron won a local modeling competition and got to travel abroad. While in the US, she produced a documentary called East Of Havana, which criticized America’s relations with Cuba. She later claimed that her involvement with the piece landed her on the government’s enemies-list and she was subsequently deported back home at age 19. Theron eventually become a US citizen in 2007.

Slick Rick, 2002
After serving over five years in prison for attempted murder, The Ruler faced another 11-year battle against threats of deportation to his native England. The US authorities had been obsessively on his trail and eventually nabbed him in 2002 when he boarded a docked Caribbean cruise ship. Despite spending a year in a Florida INS facility, deportation lingered over his head until NY Gov. Paterson issued a rare unconditional pardon. “We don’t cause trouble, we don’t bother nobody.”

Yusuf Islam, 2004
The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens was on a plane from his hometown, London, to Washington, where he planned to meet Dolly Parton. While in flight, custom agents alerted authorities that his name popped up on the murky no-fly list. Fearing that the creator of “Peace Train” was in fact a violent terrorist, the plane was diverted to Maine and he was immediately deported back to the UK. After diplomatic protests, and even a successful libel case against British tabloids, the British singer was eventually allowed back into the US.

Shyne, 2009
This is foul. Just when the former-Bad Bay artist thought he was returning home after serving nine years, the ICE moved in to prolong his ordeal. Similar to the Slick Rick case, officials are thirsty to make an example of the Brooklyn-raised rapper and send him back to his birth nation. Despite pleas from Belize’s Prime Minister, who also happens to be his dad, it looks like Shyne may have more hurdles to jump before he re-enters the land of the “free”. 

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When seeking public office, there’s always the potential of screw-ups that result in grueling embarrassment for the entire family. It comes with the territory. While I’ve touched on the subject of male politicians who engage in extra-curricular smashing, I’ve yet to explore the other side of the coin: embarrassments by the wife. While few and far between, there is a history of First Ladies— most recently Maria Shriver who was caught talking on her cellphone while driving twice in California this week—who have made their governing husbands blush. Although Shriver is the latest, here’s a few more examples of when first ladies embarrass their politician spouses…

5. Winnie Mandela, South Africa, 1991
• Winnie’s had a tough life. As one of the more controversial political figures in South Africa, she’s had her share of legal complications. Although never officially First Lady of South Africa, Ms. Mandela was still married to Nelson when he became President in 1991. Shortly after his election, Ms. Mandela was charged as an accomplice in the death of 14-year-old anti-Apartheid activist, Stompie Seipei. The young Seipei, who was accused by activists of working as an informant, was kidnapped, tortured and killed allegedly at the hands of Winnie’s bodyguards. Despite a conviction, her sentence was reduced to a fine. Five years later, she officially divorced Nelson, who had accused her of adultery.
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4. Leila Ben Ali, Tunisia, 2008
• When Tunisia’s investigative journalists bloggers tracked the President’s airplane mileage, records showed an extensive itinerary of flights to Paris, Milan, Geneva and elsewhere. One problem: he wasn’t on the plane. It turned out that his wife, a former hairdresser, was a bit of a high-end shopaholic. While she never issued a formal statement regarding the matter, we’re waiting on her collaborative t-shirt: Expensive Taste x Poor Taste.
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3. Mari Culver, Iowa, 2008
• Shortly after Iowa’s Governor, Chet Culver, passed a law banning cigarette smoke in public places, his wife was seen puffing on a loosie in a state-owned vehicle. She apologized for the hypocritical act, paid a $50 fine and probably went out back to light up another cig from all the stress. Now about that marijuana bill…
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2. Lucy Kibaki, Kenya, 2009
• The wife of Kenyan president Mwai Kibaki has had her moments of political turbulence. While once embroiled in controversy after slapping a journalist for covering a protest, she is most recently in the midst of a price-fixing dispute surrounding corn, referred to in Kenya as “maize”. Apparently, the government uses public funds to purchase a “Strategic Reserve” from local farmers to be used in times of famine. With 10 million Kenyans facing starvation, it was time to break open the stash. Well, unfortunately, one million bags were missing. Members of Parliament accused Ms. Kibaki of selling the reserve supply to foreign brokers, creating an artificial shortage and, therefore, driving up the price. The First Family released a statement in her defense claiming that the allegations were merely a distraction to the core issues of food availability.
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1. Maria Shriver, California, 2009
• It’s not everyday that a state Governor thanks TMZ via Twitter – especially only days after introducing a bill that could fine paparazzi up to 50K for photographing celebs engaged in “personal activities”. But when pictures surfaced of Ted Kennedy’s niece blabbing on her celly while behind the wheel, her action-film husband had no choice but to promise to take “swift action”. She apologized, donated her disgraced mobile device and, I assume, upgraded.
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The release of Michael Moore’s controversial new film Capitalism: A Love Story marks the 20th anniversary of his work in muckraker documentary filmmaking. Whether you agree with his beliefs or not, Moore is clearly the king of pop-political exposés, converting hot-button social issues into blockbuster hits that have grossed over $300 million. His personal financial success is often used by critics as signs of his hypocrisy: “How can you be mad at a system that’s made you rich?!” Ah, the contradictions of inequality. So to put Moore’s newest film into perspective, here’s a look back at some of his greatest hits…

Roger & Me, 1989
Moore’s debut piece introduced the world to his hometown, Flint, Michigan, and its relationship with General Motors. And shortly after the film’s release, the hip-hop world received a classic record from one of Flint’s natives—the late MC Breed. RIP.

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Wallet Exchange From “The Awful Truth”, 1999
After making a few more films in the ’90’s, Moore experimented with television, producing ”The Awful Truth,” a two-year show on Bravo financed by Britain’s Channel 4. In this segment, Moore brings attention to law enforcement’s apparent inability to distinguish between guns and wallets, following the brutal killing of Amadou Diallo. 41 shots. SMH.

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Visits Charlton Heston In “Bowling For Columbine”, 2002
In what was one of the most climactic moments in Moore’s comeback smash-hit, the late Charlton Heston is caught out there looking a little, shall we say racist? Moore doesn’t fail to mention that the NRA, which Heston presided over, was founded the same year that the KKK was outlawed, 1871. What a coinkidink.

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Halliburton Scene, Farenheit 9/11, 2004
There was a certain energy in the air when this film was first released that was unlike any recent moment in pop-culture. Moore was really channeling the frustration from what seemed like the obvious deception that strong-armed the country into war. Despite the scathing exposé, including this jaw-dropping clip of blatant cronyism, Bush still got re-elected. Good grief.

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Crashes RNC, 2004
The GOP was clearly a little concerned by the cultural impact of Moore’s work. Here, John “Maverick” McCain, calls him out at the Republican National Convention. Moore had officially arrived.

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Moore vs. Wolf Blitzer, 2007
After the release of Moore’s attack on the health-care biz, he was ambushed on Wolf Blitzer’s show with a CNN report attempting to discredit his health care critique. Moore turns the heat up on the pharmaceutical-funded station and eventually gets a second showdown with Sanjay “I Was Almost Surgeon General” Gupta.

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Moore vs. Wolf Blitzer, 2009 PT 1, and PT 2.
Never ones to shy away from ratings, Moore circles back to CNN’s in-house yuppie to debate the politics behind his latest film about Capitalism. After hearing enough, Blitzer gets right to the point: “Are you a Socialist? I’ll just ask the question.” Moore: “I’m a Christian. And I’m a heterosexual too, if you wanna know that.” 

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