We’re talking about none other than former New York Giants receiver, Plaixco Burress! We feel sorry for this firearm toting fool—almost killing yourself seems like punishment enough to us—but not sorry enough not to wring all the laughs we can get out of his situation. If you feel the same, read on to learn how to perfectly capture the look. Just remember to leave the guns at home. We don’t want life imitating art.

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• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE COSTUMES & CELEBRITY STYLE GUIDES!

We don’t want to trivialize unregistered gun usage, but plenty of athletes have done far worse and done far less time than Burress. And we definitely aren’t in favor of locking more people up, but if the former Giants receiver is getting two years, we’ve got 5 Athletes Who Should Be Doing More Time Than Plaxico…

5. TONYA HARDING
CRIME: Conspiring to assault opponent Nancy Kerrigan
PUNISHMENT: 3 years probation, 500 hours community service, and $160,000 fine
• While Burress is staring down a bid at Sing-Sing for kneecapping himself, Harding kneecapped her opponent and ended up with a weed whacker at some cemetery. If it’s any consolation to Plax, at least he won’t have to face Tonya’s post-conviction white trash spiral of sex tapes, DUIs, and prescription drug abuse. We hope.

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4. JIM LEYRITZ
CRIME: Vehicular homicide while driving drunk with a suspended license
PUNISHMENT: 10 days in county jail
• So let’s see here: Leyritz kills somebody, blames them for it, and gets 10 days. If it’s any consolation to Plax, at least he’s not going to hell.

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3. DONTÉ STALLWORTH
CRIME: DUI and second degree manslaughter
PUNISHMENT: 30 days in jail (24 served), 1,000 hours of community service, 2 years of house arrest, and 8 years probation
• Stallworth pleaded guilty to the charges and reached a settlement with the victim’s family, but no amount of community service will change the fact that dude mowed down an innocent construction worker with his Bentley. Of course using the Plaxico example, if Stallworth had run over his own foot with the Bentley, then he’d really be in trouble.

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2. LEONARD LITTLE
CRIME: Vehicular manslaughter while driving drunk
PUNISHMENT: 90 days in jail, 4 years probation, and 1000 hours of community service
• The poster dude for NFL DUI fuckery, Little took a slap on the wrist for drunkenly running over and killing a young woman. He was then arrested again for speeding and driving drunk and walked away with only the misdemeanor charge of speeding.

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1. O.J. SIMPSON
CRIME: Double homicide Failing to find the real killers
PUNISHMENT: $12.5 million fine in a civil suit
• Ok, ok, so O.J. was never convicted, but if he did it, he got away with a doozy. Wait, they’ve never actually proved that it was Plax’s DNA on that gun, now have they!

Dallas Penn offers his own video for Kanye's Love Lockdown. [Nah Right]

We're sure Giants haters would love to see this”A Burress Story” be made into a movie. [TiricoSuave]

Danielle Lloyd bikini pics makes us think warm thoughts. [Bastardly]

This Nike ACG model is interesting, to say the least. [KicksOnFire]

By now, you’ve probably heard all about New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress’s wild Thanksgiving weekend. But is it the worst off-field, self-inflicted (and non-lethal, word to our already iffy sports injury karma) injury in sports history? Read on to see our top 5…

5. JEFF KENT

Baseball’s favorite grumpy old man missed 2002 spring training season after he broke his wrist washing his truck. He accomplished this by either a) falling off said truck, or b) taking a break from washing said truck by popping wheelies on his motorcycle. Either way, according to some, it may have affected his ability to comprehend black people.

4. SAMMY SOSA

In 2004, Swingin’ Sammy missed a game for the Cubs when he came down with a case of back spasms…after a sneezing fit. Luckily for Sam, there was plenty of HGH-grade NyQuil on hand and he was good to go the next day.

3. RICH HARDEN

Early in 2004’s spring training, the then-Oakland A’s pitcher threw out his non-throwing shoulder while reaching to turn off his alarm clock. Call him injury-prone, just don’t call him late for breakfast!

2. BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Big Ben gets no. 2 only because, well, he almost died. On June 12, 2006, Roethlisberger was riding high as the youngest Super Bowl-winning quarterback of all time. Riding high that is, until he flew over the handlebars of his motorcycle and headbutted a Chrysler New Yorker in the windshield. Amazingly, the helmet-less Roethlisberger was released from the hospital two days later and didn’t miss a regular season game because of his injuries.

1. GLENALLEN HILL

Currently a Colorado Rockies coach, Hill began wearing a helmet full-time when, during his playing career, he crashed through a glass table while dreaming about spiders, and ended up on the 15-day disabled list.