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Hardware Wars (1977)
• Made in the same year that the original movie was released, this is one of the first Star Wars parodies. The graphics (or lack thereof) make this one truly funny. Instead of elaborate spaceships flying around, this one has household appliances fighting each other. Why pay for CGI when you can have an iron battle a toaster?

Spaceballs (1987)
• Comedy legend Mel Brooks wrote, directed, and acted in this classic Star Wars spoof. People are morons, so it wasn’t very popular in theaters, but it gained a large following years later because you can’t deny characters like Prince Valium (who happens to be narcoleptic), Lord Dark Helmet, and Pizza the Hutt (Get it? Like Pizza Hut!).

Weird Al Yankovic – The Saga Begins (1999)
• Weird Al doing what he does best, making a mockery of pop culture. Here, he turns Don McLean’s “American Pie” into an ode to Star Wars. McLean and George Lucas handled the parodying of their classic works slightly better than Coolio did, but then neither of them has been caught with crack.

Dr. Evil as Darth Vader (1999)
• Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me had a brief moment where Dr. Evil took one of the most popular lines from the film and used it to to play a ruse on Austin Powers. Pure Evil.

French and Saunders The Phantom Millennium (1999)
• In their take on Star Wars, the Schoolgirls, as the British sketch comedy duo call themselves, activate their light sabers by saying “zoom,” beat down robots that don’t move, forget their lines, and do a whole lot of other funny shit that will have Anglophiles spitting out their afternoon tea.

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MTV Movie Awards Parody (2005)
• It’s a compliment to Jimmy Fallon, playing Anakin Skywalker living on a lava planet here, when we only want to choke ourselves out with telekinesis occasionally.

Vader Sessions (2006)
• This fan-made parody takes the voice of James Earl Jones from other movies and places it in clips from the first Star Wars. Our mind was blown when Jones’ Darth Vader was revealed to be a white man, but we had no idea Princess Leia was black. What’s next, tight, white-ass CP30’s Mexican?

Robot Chicken Star Wars (2007)
• Everything you love about Robot Chicken parceled into a Star Wars parody. Combine your two favorite viewing pleasures and make a little time in your life to try to touch a real woman breast in 2010!

Family Guy’s Blue Harvest (2007)
• This clip comes from the first Family Guy Star Wars spoof. One of the random, yet clever jokes that make Family Guy one of the best cartoons on TV.

Star Whores (2008)
• From Kevin Smith’s film Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Star Whores is just one of the porno movies that the duo make. If ever you wondered what robot nuts look like, now you know.

**BONUS** Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
• This isn’t actually a parody, but back when damn near every TV show had a holiday special, LucasFilm produced a light-hearted spin-off of their own movie. Rumor has it that George Lucas hated the holiday special and would destroy every copy if he could. Damn, G, it ain’t that bad. Talk about being your own worst critic!

Come see us at the ’Plex HQ, son; we’ve got the connects and the artist management skills to lace you with the hottest mixtape the skreets have ever seen. Better yet, we’ll tailor that mixtape to your strengths and interests, even pulling in guest features from rappers sure to give you the credibility you could clearly not care less about having in the African-American community. Don’t believe us? Peep after the jump for the tracklisting we’ve prepared for you. Every one of them a banger, guaranteed…

THE SITUATION’S “MISTAH AB” MIXTAPE
Tracklist:
1. “Verses From The Ab-stract” feat. Q-Tip & Taylor Lautner
2. “Pump It Up” feat. Juicy J, OJ da Juiceman, and Juice
3. “Every Girl Pt. 2 (Any Girl)” feat. Young Money
4. “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy” feat. Sammi Sweetheart
5. “The New Workout Plan” feat. Lil’ Cease
6. “Imaginary Player” feat. Yung Berg
7. “Sleepin’ On Jersey”
8. “Pop Ya Collar (Out Over Ya Lapels)”
9. “Bronzer Vs. Fonzworth” feat. Fonzworth Bentley
10. “You’re So Vain” feat. Carly Simon & John Forté
11. “Salt N Peppers N Sausage Is Here” feat. Salt N Pepa
12. “Otha Fish” feat. Pauly D
13. “Shaolin’s Veiniest” feat. Ghostface

BONUS: A SAMPLE VERSE FROM “THE NEW WORKOUT PLAN,” FEAT. LIL CEASE:

Ooh girl, your silhoutte make me wanna do a thousand reps
My name’s Mike S. from the Jersey set, Ronnie said work them pecs
Ooh, girl your skin is CHARRED
Under the black light in these BARS
Cooked that shit like a chicken paillard
But I still pump a fist like a black pan-thar
We ain’t sweatin’ to this club shit until our hair is sculpted
Maybe one day girl we can bone
Unless you drop me for a jabroni, wow
But I’m still sellin’ these t-shirts with these bronzed and well-plucked features
1 and you brought 2 dudes, OK, what the fuck is this—3? THAT’S rude
4 more? Do you know the Situation has 5, 6, 7, 8,
To pull these hot tub skeezers, you gotta use these tweezers
You gotta get your slore on before the Jersey Shore’s gone
Guidos, guidettes, moussed-head juiceheads…

RELATED:
• Who’s the Hottest Guidette on MTV’s Jersey Shore?
• Before Jersey Shore: Great Moments In Guido History
• Complex Imagines Jay-Z’s 40th Birthday Mixtape

• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE COMPLEX MUSIC POSTS!

See, with such a momentous occasion at hand, and as he gracefully transitioned into middle age, he realized that he’d be going through some changes in his life, as any aging man would. So he went back and re-recorded some of his greatest hits, with new titles and new lyrics, to reflect those changes. So read on for the tracklisting, and a sample verse that we were able to get our hands on. And again, Mr. Carter: happy birthday, and please don’t dismantle our company after reading this. It’s all love!

TRACKLISTING

1. Polident As Usual
2. Blue Magic (The Viagra Song)
3. Empire Prostate of Mine
4. Is That Yo Bitch? For Real, Where Are My Glasses?
5. Nap Game/Crack Game
6. Moment of Claritin
7. 99 Puddings
8. Can’t Knock the Shuffleboard
9. Never Change (Thanks to Depends)
10. Izzo (A.A.R.P.)
11. Can I Get A…What Was I Saying Again?
12. Pension, Social Security, Hoes
13. Bingo Boys (And The Winner Is)
14. Grandpop 4 Roc
15. Cholesterol Report
16. (Please Roll Me Out Into the) Sunshine
17. Combover

And the exclusive excerpt: the climactic third verse from “Combover,” his updated version of “Takeover”:
I might be walkin’ with a – CAAAAAAAANE!
But that’s only ’cause this bum hip bothers me whenever it starts to rain
I don’t com – PLAAAAAAAAAAIN
’Cause you know that Rascal hot rod in the garage spit flames
Went from…zero to 10, to the streets and then
Bump right into your leg, make you drop your soft-boiled egg
Fell from bed once but it wasn’t a bad fall
Cause this MedicAlert bracelet makes international calls
Matter fact I’m the fuckin’ don of the senior home
So you know – I skip the line, the whole pill line
That’s why your – BRAAAAAAAIN be gettin’ soft on you dunny
My reading glasses caught you out there sonny
You ain’t livin’ like I’m livin’, you witnessed it from your couch
Peeped The Golden Girls and thought you knew what Hov was about
I slipped you your first Viagra on tour with Eartha Kitt
Then I heard your rhyme ’bout how your style was tan-tric
So yeah, I sampled your voice and instead versed my own
And that shit’s hot 9 at 9 on my in-house nurse’s phone
And you ain’t gettin’ a cent, B, you was gettin’ fucked and
I know what I’m eatin’, God: mashed-up pumpkin!
Stay in your – LAAAAAAAANE, it’s for your own safety
(No, seriously, I’m a very poor driver now)
10 percent off the Denny’s menu? I can divide
That’s a Moons Over My Hammy for like 3.99
And I left ’em $4.50–you know old people don’t tip
I’m too busy trying to keep these mah-jongg tiles in my grip
I’ve got some – PAAAAAINS, but that’s just part of the deal
Take out the garbage? Bitch, my grandson’s in college!
You young bucks gon’ learn to respect the king
Don’t be the next one to have to apply my hemorrhoid cream
Because you know who did you-know-what with you-know-who
I mean, I forgot, so I really hope you do…

*Of course this is a parody. Happy birthday Hov!

• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE COMPLEX MUSIC POSTS!

Just like that, Halloween is pretty much here. We got in the spirit a little early by counting down the scariest movies of all-time last week. Moviegoers are doing the same by hitting the theaters hard for flicks like Paranormal Activity and Saw VI. Funny Or Die took the opportunity to toss some humor into the current horror movie realm with this “Paranormal Saw” clip. Anyone familiar with either film will most likely find something funny about the next four minutes of parody. Watch it above.

Tune in to Complex.com every morning at 8 AM for your daily “Wake N’ Watch” video.

Well, yes and no. Yes because we found it odd that we’re deemed not as important as people whose contribution to journalism amounts to a Blogspot account, and no because WE WENT TO HIS HOUSE ANYWAY, BITCHES*. What, you thought Complex wouldn’t find a way around some bullshit-ass guard dogs? Not only did we go, but we went rogue in that piece like Jack muhfuckin’ Bauer. Get ready for a look inside R. Kelly’s crib, Complex-style….

7:31 P.M.
Blend in with the pack of music journalists on their way in. They keep referring to themselves as a “gaggle of reporters.” Pretty sure that means they gaggle on artists’ balls for access.

7:45 P.M.
R. Kelly’s butler, “Number One,” serves everyone lemonade. He says it’s officially called a “You’re In R. Kelly’s House Now Cocktail,” or just “You’re In” for short. The glass is warm to the touch. I pass.

8:00 P.M.
Sneak out of the room and down a back hallway, where I find a map kiosk like they have in malls. This dude has a TCBY on the third floor! Gotta remember to stop by the “Feelin’ On Yo Beauty Salon” for an edge-up before I leave.

8:21 P.M.
Converge with journalists as they’re being ushered into the studio. Yes, there’s actually an usher. And it’s actually Usher! He looks sad. I excuse myself to use the restroom.

8:29 P.M.

Nice touch on the novelty urinal cakes, Kellz! Could do without the yellow food coloring in the faucets, though.

8:31
Start poking around the studio area. One of these rooms looks reeeeeally familiar. Oh, this is the room where a guy who totally wasn’t R. Kelly had sex with an underage girl!

8:36 P.M.
Hey, where do these stairs go? Very courteous of the R, though: “Watch Your Step In the Name of Love.”

8:38 P.M.

Holy SHIT. This can’t be a warehouse of R. Kelly Sex Robots. There’s just no way.

8:38. P.M.

Time to go!

8:41 P.M.
Out of breath. Note to self: Sex robots are faster than they look. Hey, an office! I love musicians’ offices. All those gold and platinum plaques hanging up to commemorate success…wait a second, these are all depositions!

8:42 P.M.
Funny, I didn’t realize Weezy’s ex-wife tried to sue Kellz for “Thoiya Thoing.”

8:57 P.M.
Enough legalese. What’s in this closet?

8:59
Jesus, it smells like a dwarf shit himself in here. Time to hit the pool for some fresh air.

8:58 P.M.

Niiiice.

9:02 P.M.
Catch sight of journalists just as they’re being shown out the door. Bodyguards eye me suspiciously, as I’m the only one not wearing a XXXL “I Got Splashed By Greatness” promotional t-shirt, but I do my best to look tear-stained and traumatized like everyone else and they let me out. Freedom!

*Yes, this is a parody. Your lawyers are tired, Kellz, give ’em a rest!