Truth is though, we’ve been fans of Carl’s Jr.’s ads (and those of its East Coast brotha company Hardee’s) for years now—they’ve always combined hot chicks (or at least witty jokes) with burger porn in a way that makes us hungry every time. To celebrate JB’s new work with the company, we decided to go back in the vault and find the 10 best Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s commercials of all time. Bon appetit!

#10 COMMERCIAL: Frisco Burger
FEATURING: Dude on a lawn chair and a giant dog
• Yes, this commercial is pauseworthy, but damn if it didn’t make us wanna eat like 15 Frisco Burgers. Wait, does that make us…

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#9 COMMERCIAL: Little Thickburger
FEATURING: Big Thick & Little Thick
Slo mo burger landings: it’s impossible to watch this commercial in HD and not be hungry.

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#8 COMMERCIAL: Original Roast Beef
FEATURING: Some fat dude
• An oldie but goodie—do it for the biscuit!

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#7 COMMERCIAL: Biscuit Holes
FEATURING: Various shopping mall denizens
• Clearly, somebody at Hardee’s knows the value of a good pause joke. Laughs + associating your comp with doodoo = marketing gold.

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#6 COMMERCIAL: “Fist Girl”
FEATURING: Fist Girl
• The grill’s a little busted, but we wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating a Thickburger.

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#5 COMMERCIAL: Charbroiled Steak Sandwich
FEATURING: Some smokin’ hot super babe in a blue dress and her d-bag boyfriend.
• We love the dress code at Carl’s Jr. (shirt + shoes = culinary bliss), but damn dude, for that super fox, we’d at least grab a button up!

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#4 COMMERCIAL: French Dip Thickburger
FEATURING: French maids
• Just when you thought Hardee’s couldn’t possibly get any better, they introduce a French Dip. Crazy.

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#3 COMMERCIAL: Spicy BBQ Burger
FEATURING: Paris Hilton
• We weren’t the biggest Paris Hilton fans, then again, we were vegan until we tried the Spicy BBQ Burger, so call us impressionable if you must.

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#2 COMMERCIAL: Teriyaki Burger
FEATURING: Audrina Patridge
• We’ll admit we were skeptical about grilled pineapple on a burger, but we weren’t sold at first on a reality show about vapid girls in Orange County, either. And now look at us, munching on delicious Teriyaki Burgers and watching The Hills reruns.

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#1 COMMERCIAL: Western Bacon Thickburger
FEATURING: Padma Lakshmi
• D-d-d-amn! We love Hardee’s Western Bacon Thickburger (like love love love), but we’ll admit, we’d even lick wack ass Whopper juice off Padma Lakshmi.

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Alfamega sends T.I. a kite expressing his disappointment, and he wants a quick response. [Nah Right]

Get your Optimus Prime on with these Transformer motorcycle helmets. [DailyDrop]

Tracy Morgan has a plan if his bank account gets low: sell his 30 Rock Emmy. [Flisted]

Amy Winehouse calls out J. Lo while on trial for assault. Shots fired! [PopCrunch]

No rest for the weary: Kobe Bryant promotes his Nike Dream Season shoes in Asia. [Sneaker News]

With Paris Hilton’s My New BFF wrapping its first season tonight and Brody Jenner’s Bromance set to debut later this month, there’s only one topic of conversation around the reality show water cooler here at the Complex offices: Who will be the next rich retard to star in a show where even more intellectually bereft “normal” people compete to be their friend?

(Side note: from MTV senior VP Liz Gateley, a late entrant for PR Hackery of the Year: “[Brody] is the type of guy everyone wants to hang out with.” Right, just like acute ebola-encephalitis is the type of disease everyone wants to get.)

So who are the next despicable pieces of shit to get their own BFF show? Check after the jump for Complex’s nominees…

O.J. SIMPSON

• WHO: Football player, “fantasy” memoirist
• REQUIREMENTS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Steady hands for low-speed car chases, quick-thinking on memorabilia-repo missions
• TEST OF LOYALTY: Find the real killers
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ROBERT MUGABE

• WHO: President/dictator of Zimbabwe
• REQUIREMENTS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Youth (life expectancy in Zimbabwe is 37 years for men), fondness for election-rigging
• TEST OF LOYALTY: Carry First Lady Grace Mugabe’s bags during shopping sprees
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DICK CHENEY

• WHO: Soon-to-be former (!) vice president of the United States
• REQUIREMENTS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Bulletproof ski mask, general antipathy towards the rest of the human race
• TEST OF LOYALTY: Visit Head Start programs and kick the kids
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SIMON COWELL

• WHO: Misanthropic American Idol judge
• REQUIREMENTS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Inability to sing, willingness to cry when insulted
• TEST OF LOYALTY: Hide Paula Abdul’s vodka
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COBRA COMMANDER

• WHO: Supreme leader of C.O.B.R.A. Command
• REQUIREMENTS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Must be completely fake and more evil than O.J. Simpson, Robert Mugabe, Dick Cheney and Simon Cowell (which pretty much narrows the list to Paris Hilton and Brody Jenner)
• TEST OF LOYALTY: Kill Snake-Eyes!

Yep, the Republican Vice Presidential hopeful joined the list of celebrities who’ve been exposed through cyber crimes when her personal Yahoo! email account was hacked by the infamous Anonymous group. Even though they didn’t uncover anything too damaging while pillaging her inbox, the McCain camp is rightfully pissed. But maybe they should consider themselves lucky after looking at these other celebrities who’ve had their privacy invaded…

PARIS HILTON’S SIDEKICK

Remember when Paris Hilton was actually popular? Like, before she became a caricature of herself and all the other Hollywood trust fund debutantes who were famous for being famous? Back in ‘04 and ‘05, Paris was actually the envy of many. She was everywhere'every party, every opening, every premiere, always with her trusty Sidekick. No, not Nicole or Kim, her actual T-Mobile Sidekick. It was that Sidekick that got hacked in early 2005 by Nicolas Jacobsen, who plead guilty to intentionally breaking into T-Mobiles databases. But not before he posted all the contents, which included her entire phonebook and photos, online for the world to see, which led to mad Anna Kournikova prank calls.

LINDSAY LOHAN’S GMAIL & MYSPACE PAGE

Lindsay Lohan’s had a hell of a whirlwind ride since she’s been in Hollywood. One of the lows, though, had to be when her Myspace, Blackberry and GMail accounts were hacked last year. The hacker, who was never revealed, posted dozens of messages and conversations between Lohan and Paris Hilton, Travis Barker’s baby mother Shanna Moakler, and Paris’ ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. Let’s just say the convos weren’t pretty. Two memorable ones include her telling Paris to “go suck elliot’s dick” and Shanna telling her to stay the fuck away from Travis: “I know you and your whore crew think fucking other people’s men is a game and fun but I have two kids who don’t have a proper family now.”

TRU LIFE’S MYSPACE

If you wanna see e-thuggin’ at its finest, all you gotta do is hit up a hip hop video site. But what happened to Roberto Guzman Rosado b.k.a Tru Life was worse than a low-budget video diss. Last winter, Dipset Capo Jim Jones got a bunch of young computer wizards to hack into Tru Life’s Myspace page, change all his music to Dipset songs, change his Top 8 to Dipset members and alter all the images, including his “Tru York” mixtape cover, to Dipset friendly images. They even sent out an email from Tru Life’s profile saying:

“I want to apologize for disrespecting The Whole Dipset especially Jim “capo” Jones. I’m just a tad upset with my situation over at rocafella, Jay Z spends all his money on Beyonce, and doesn’t leave much for any of his broke Rocafella artist Like me Young Gunners, Memphis Bleek and Peedi Crakk; especially for his dust smoking habits.. I’m driving around the lower eastside in my 96 Windstar Caravan with my broke friends not really doing much.

I don’t know when my album gonna drop, I’m still living off the Jewelry I stole from Mobb deep and I’m down to my last dollars. I really want to say thank you to Geno, end of the day I know he is my muscle, and the only reason n****s aint swerve on me yet. Let The People know! I’m a liar and a hasbeen.”

- Tru Life aka never selling a record

VANESSA HUDGENS’ EMAIL

Poor Vanessa. All she wanted to do was send her man, Zac Efron, some sexy pictures and they wound up on the ‘net for the world to see. Her camp never really came out and blamed hackers, but they claimed they didn’t know how the photos got out and that hackers were a likely cause. Zac’s people said the same. We think Zac probably just sent them to a couple friends and those dumb-asses passed ‘em along to some friends and so on and so fourth until they wound up online.

ROBERT GATES, THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE’S EMAIL

The Pentagon is Department of Defense headquarters, therefore it should be impossible to break into, right? Nah, apparently not, ’cause last year the computer system that serves over 1,500 Pentagon employees including Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates. The attack was so bad, they had to take it offline for a week until the botnet attacks stopped. After some investigating, DOD officials accused the People’s Liberation Army of China for the incursion.