Girls Meet The 2009 Miss America Contenders

Miss 2008 Kirsten Haglund with three friends who wish she would drop dead.

One of America’s favorite sexist pastimes concludes Saturday night with the crowning of a new Miss America, live on TLC. Yeah, we ain’t gonna watch it either (although the tagline “Who Goes Down? Who Gets the Crown?” has us a little intrigued), and to save you the time as well, we’ve scouted out the five most likely winners. Cue the fake tears ladies!