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Olympic Rap Battle: Michael Phelps Vs. Amanda Beard

justinm — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:35:49 +0000

There’s blood in the water. Tuesday, on 93.7 KRQ Tucson’s “Johnjay and Rich in the Morning” radio show, Olympic swimmer and model Amanda Beard made a few sideways comments about fellow USA Olympian and national hero Michael Phelps. When asked if they were dating or had kissed, she replied, “Eww, that’s so nasty! … Come on, I have really good taste.” Phelps, who is drowning under eight fresh gold medals (not to mention endorsements and groupie love), has brushed it off, and Beard has apologized for making jokes at his expense.

Of course, Complex couldn’t let it die with such a minimal splash. We imagined the swimmers using their breath control to battle. It’s no race to the finish, just a test of rap skills. Check out the verses below and vote on who leaves who wet up.

Michael’s Verse:

Me date you? Illogical. I spear models
I wouldn't take a swim in that trim with beer goggles
Any rumor that I'd do ya is a bad joke
Not even with a bag on your head, doing the backstroke
Sorry to dash hopes, you can peck the balls
And my medal haul while I teabag you from the pedestal
See me on Wheaties, feeding the world breakfast
No medals in '08? You can get a pearl necklace
Eight golds. You don't have an eighth my fame
You were serving concessions at the Beijing Games
(Crazy lame.) My legend will lives for ages
The biggest splash you've made is in the sticky pages
My dick was gracious getting half hard for it
Mad unfortunate, half horsey bitch
Bearded lady, you can get the gas face
Then take a lap (of my crack) and tell me how my ass taste.

Amanda’s Verse:

Touch this Bunny hole? Don't even think it.
My pussy ain't a prize for the Special Olympics
Idiot, you got your golds, now swim home
Cause China stones the shit out a kid with Down Syndrome
I can’t believe anybody’d wanna sponsor
The love child of Corky and the Loch Ness Monster
Fast in the water, dumb slow on land
But quick to bust early, blow a load in your pants
And they wonder why they call you “The Baltimore Bullet”
Emptying all your rounds before you can pull it
Only in Playboy you see these buns
Practicing your best stroke: the penis pump
I see through the packaging, you're mad saccharine
Splashing in the water and lapping men
With your waxed abdomen, you part bitch
You swallow and Mark Spitz

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Brian Berg’s Olympic Village House Of Cards

treats — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:07:57 +0000

Photo: The Cuso

Forget Michael Phelps’s over-exposed gold-medal wins'the real spectacle at this year’s Olympics are the stunning visuals. The light show in the opening ceremony was like Kanye West’s Glow In The Dark tour on steroids, and the whole world can’t seem to get enough of Beijing’s impressive sports structures. This week, Guinness World Record holder Brian Berg broke his own record by using 140,000 playing cards to replicate China’s Olympic Village.

Even though card stacking isn’t exactly a sport, the 33-year-old pro trumped his Cinderella's Castle from 2004 (which was 14 ft. tall), by stacking his latest creation 25 feet high. It took Berg 20 days to build the giant spectacle. Watch a video of him putting the finishing touches on the project below.

Previously: Lego Beijing Replica Takes An Olympic Effort

[CardStacker via Gizmodo]

U.S.A Volleyball Team Plays With Bush

Joe — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:03:49 +0000

There's not much more entertaining to watch Dubya popping up at random Olympic events. [Bastardly]

Ray Lewis really wants Devin Hester to get a Madden cover. [Das Gamer]

This is the best weekly feature, online has to offer. [CoedMag]

Uncle Murda claims to be runnin' the city. [Nah Right]

Mega Man 3, this time with lyrics. [Double Viking]

Javier Mariscal Sinks The Olympics

treats — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:04:22 +0000

With the Olympics kicking off tomorrow, it’s a festive time all around the world. Everywhere you look, there are promotional banners and corporate sponsorships slapped on the side of buses and buildings. Luckily there are also more subtle ways to pay tribute. Javier Mariscal, a designer from Spain, is showing love with sinks.

Hockey, track and field, and swimming are the three disciplines he drew into porcelain basins made by Roca. So now the only question is…who’s gonna do toilets? Sounds like a job for the Japanese. See the other two sinks below.

Nike’s Hyperdunk Ad Is In Your Face

justinm — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:02:27 +0000

Nike's new ad campaign for the Hyperdunk is subtle like testicles in your eye sockets. The posterization promotes the shoe Olympic basketball players will be wearing in Beijing next month and recalls Vince Carter's infamous dunk at the 2000 Games in Sydney, when the 6'6″ USA guard leapt over France's 7'2″ center Frederic Weis. (Actually, the high-flying dunker propelled himself higher by pushing Weis's head down'and then scraped his sweaty balls against it.)

At the time, VC was wearing Nike's most technologically advanced hoops shoe, the Shox BB4. The Hyperdunk, which features Flywire technology and Lunarlite foam, is Nike's lightest and strongest basketball shoe ever, and the company clearly hopes it will play a part in an equally memorable facial. See VC's infamous teabagging of Frederic Weis after the jump.

Inside The Olympic Torch

bfred — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:36:36 +0000

We fully support the Tibet protesters who have been trying to extinguish the Olympic flame before it reaches Beijing, but damn, the actual torch is a pretty dope piece of craftsmanship.

Created by Lenovo, a Chinese computer manufacturer, the polished aluminum-magnesium alloy torch was worked on by 34 designers for a year before the final plan, called “Clouds of Promise,” was finalized. The red color and cloud designs are traditional Chinese signifiers, while shape resembles a scroll, which is a nod to one of China’s greatest contributions to the world'paper. The China Aerospace Science & Industry Corporation designed the actual burning mechanism, which is meant to withstand winds of up to 65 km/hour, stay lit on top of Mount Everest and produce a bright, stable flame that can be seen in sunny conditions. After the jump, check out a gallery of torch photos and detailed design illustrations.

[Wired via NOTCOT]

Nike Looks To China For Their Latest Designs

Joe — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:48:06 +0000

The latest battle for sneaker supremacy seems to be what brand can effectively nail what a “Chinese” design would entail. According to The Wall Street Journal, Nike and adidas are focused on creating footwear and apparel with Chinese design cues that will hopefully take-off, during the Beijing Olympic Games in August.
The swoosh first showed hints of their movement toward eastern-influence when they released the uber-limited Jordan 1 XQ pack (pictured), a collection of sneakers that featured dragon-inspired designs and dropped exclusively in China. In October, Nike also did a special make-up on the Lebron V that featured laser-etched cues personifying Beijing's “Forbidden City.” In addition to the recently released footwear, Nike also has launched a line of sportswear carrying a Chinese slogan that translates to “arise and advance,”' a phrase included in China's national anthem. So far it seems, Nike's one-upping the three-stripes in quantity, but look for adidas to push hard on Chinese-heavy apparel as the Olympics draws closer. Click the thumbnails after the jump to see some close-up shots of the recent China-inspired kicks.