International film critic of mystery Ayo! Scott is the real life James Bond. He has all the latest tech you’ve never heard of (word to that chubby braggart fuckboy Sean Kingston), tags hot chicks (many of whom die as a direct result) and kills the fuck out of his rivals (die slow, Ebert!). Ayo! has everything a good 007 film does, which brings him to Quantum of Solace, Daniel Craig’s second certified Bond banger…

The film picks up where Casino Royale left off and gets right to the action (just like Ayo! getting domed out in the coat check room cause he said hello to ya moms). Enraged that bad guys forced Vesper, the woman he loved, to set him up and ultimately die for him, Bond seeks revenge while trying to foil their conspiratorial ring’s plot to monopolize natural resources.

Along the way, he keeps on Jason Bourne’s heels, leaping rooftops and slapping the shit out of lesser men, and also picks up an equally vengeful Russo-Bolivian dime Camille, played by red hot Olga Kurylenko. One of the best Bond girls of all time, she’s also the only reason you might walk out of Quantum of Solace feeling unsatisfied. When a woman as fine as she is goes a whole Bond movie without getting naked, the bad guys win. Of course, this doesn’t matter for Ayo!, who’s been in OK more times than Brangelina, but it sucks for you. Fortunately, the movie hits the target otherwise, exploding it. Peep the trailer below and take solace in the fact that the worldwide Interweb has plenty of nude photos of the former model for your spying eyes. Bang! Bang!