In the NFL, ’tis the season for giving (the opposing team a stinky yule log to chew on). Last weekend, while Tennessee was wrapping up home-field advantage throughout the playoffs by dropping Pittsburgh 31-14, Titans Keith Bulluck, Jevon Kearse, Bo Scaife and LenDale White degraded the Steelers and their fans by blowing their noses with and stomping on the team’s famed yellow Terrible Towel (we hear they had a bukkake party on it in the locker room, too). Pittsburgh players and fans caught feelings, just like Green Bay does when opponents do the Lambeau Leap and Dallas does whenever non-Cowboys get their shine on on the midfield star.

In an effort to give back to the NFL, Complex has a few ideas for celebrations that will offend pro teams. Read on see if you can come up with the ultimate insult to your team’s biggest rival.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Offensive Celebration: In honor of the Skins’ racist team name (and star tight end Chris Cooley’s laughably lil dick, which he tragically exposed on the Internet earlier this year) pretend to whip out your yard stick, then tomahawk chop off a proper chunk and present it to Cools so he can participate in the game of inches.

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Offensive Celebration: Step on the team’s midfield bolt and shake like you’re being electrocuted, then pass the charge on to teammates and lead everyone in doing the electric slide all over their logo. Or you could just drop your pants, squat on the bolt and simulate testicle electrocution torture. Oh zzzzzap!

ATLANTA FALCONS

• Offensive Celebration: One player drops to all fours like a dog while everyone else plays the role of Mike Vick and posse, kicking him until he rolls over dead. For optimal insult, murder man’s best friend only after taking turns simulating a tender moment on the rape stand.

NEW YORK GIANTS

• Offensive Celebration: Take a Plaxico Burress bow, then adjust your pants and pretend you just shot yourself in the leg. Rub it in fans’ faces by limping around Giants Stadium asking if they’ll hide your heat for you. BLAM!

DENVER BRONCOS

• Offensive Celebration: Grab the reins of the bronco mascot, walk him to center field, then reenact your favorite scene from Zoo. Say yay while they neigh, cowboy.

When it comes to comedy, Seth Rogen is as serious as cancer. Actually, the star of Knocked Up and Pineapple Express seems to think cancer is pretty fucking hilarious, which is why he’s producing and acting in Mandate Pictures’ I’m With Cancer, a comedy about a 25-year-old dude who finds out he has the disease.

The flick is based on producer and writer Will Reiser’s account of his struggle to beat cancer'and it’s sure to make laughter metastasize! Since it appears that absolutely nothing is off limits anymore, Complex thought up five more horribly offensive comedy ideas that are sure to get big laughs in Hollywood…

Distasteful theme: Genocide
Movie title: How They Hanging
Pitch:
A dictator from the inbred upper class (Danny DeVito) launches a campaign of ethnic cleansing only to realize that he’s exterminating the only people who can operate the complex machinery needed to produce the country’s chief export'bumper nuts. Can he sweet talk the few remaining survivors and convince them to keep the factories chock full o’ nuts?
Tagline: This mass murderer is killing ‘em…with kindness!

Distasteful theme: Rape/Abortion
Movie title: Who’s Your Daddy?
Pitch:
When a businesswoman (Tina Fey) is impregnated by a rapist, repealed abortion laws force her to keep the child. Can the precocious fetus (Billy Bob Thornton voiceover) that reminds her of being violated convince her that he’s a little bundle of joy before she puts fire to a hanger?
Tagline: Morning sickness isn’t the only thing making her vomit!

Distasteful theme: School Violence
Movie title: One Last Shot
Pitch:
Two sexually ambiguous high school outcasts (Frankie Muniz and Zac Efron) facing expulsion if they miss another day of class are desperate to make it to a midday Jonas Brothers mall appearance. Can they pull off a bloody cafeteria shooting, frame the chess team, and get classes canceled in time to catch the first harmonious note?
Tagline: School’s out…for memorial services!

Distasteful theme: Natural Disasters
Movie title: Let It Slide
Pitch:
When a Mexican family is left homeless by a landslide, the impossibly upbeat father (Al Pacino in face paint) vows to build them a mansion out of the same mud that ruined their lives!
Tagline: Who said dirt don’t hurt?

Distasteful theme: Hate Crimes
Movie title: Flame Thrown
Pitch:
A racist, homophobic minor league catcher (Marky Mark Wahlberg) with a swing developed by years of gay bashing is finally promised a big league gig'if only he can develop the club’s flamboyant new Cuban ace (Horatio Sanz)! Between pitching/catching jokes and pats on the ass, it’s gonna be hard to not assault his meal ticket!
Tagline: Can you catch “the gay”?