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Complex Blog » Nicole Kidman http://www.complex.com/blogs Buy. Collect. Obsess. The original buyer's guide for men. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:35:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Dude Looks Like a Lady: 7 Women Rumored to be Hermaphrodites http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/07/dude-looks-like-a-lady-7-women-rumored-to-be-hermaphrodites/ http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/07/dude-looks-like-a-lady-7-women-rumored-to-be-hermaphrodites/#comments Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:57:29 +0000 prubin http://www.complex.com/blogs/?p=52399 herm

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Gossip used to surround Lady Gaga because of her outrageous outfits and controversial candor. Now the focus is a little different: all the trashy celebrity blogs have been running with the rumor that Lady Gaga is actually Senor Lady Gaga. When something seemingly non-vagina-like slipped out from under her skirt at a recent performance, the rumors began to swirl.

While we wouldn’t be that surprised if Gaga was packing, let’s be real—the allegations are false. Not only is clinical hermaphroditism rarer than rappers with a sense of humor, but these types of rumors pop up for all kinds of female celebs. Chances are, there are a couple of chicks you’d twist out who have been whispered to be rockin’ the frank and beans to go along with the sweet potato pie. Keep reading to check out 7 Women Rumored To Be Hermaphrodites after the jump. Let the scrutiny of famous women’s crotches begin!

FERGIE
Evidence For: “Lady lumps” may have actually referred to her balls; meth face is eerily similar to mydickisbiggerthanyours face.
Evidence Against: We can’t exactly think of any right now, so how about the fact that we’d still have sex with her?

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NICOLE KIDMAN
Evidence For: She was married to Tom Cruise. *lawyering up*
Evidence Against: She told Vanity Fair that she was pregnant at 23 but miscarried. Actual hermaphroditism would make pregnancy exceedingly rare. Man, that was kinda dry. Dick joke dick joke dick joke!

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JAMIE LEE CURTIS
Evidence For: Adopted kids, “my doctor knows the doctor who treats her, and I swear she has a Y chromosome dude!”
Evidence Against: Her strip tease in True Lies. Sorry, kids, but there’s no moose knuckle in there.

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CHYNA (JOANIE LAURER)
Evidence For: Masculine facial features and a, uh, huge clitoris. That’s not a little man in a boat, that’s Andre the fucking Giant in a cruise ship. (Yes, there are pictures, and no, we’re not going to link them. Google is thataway.)
Evidence Against: Fuck hermaphrodite, that’s a dude with a vizzadge.

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AMANDA LEAR
Evidence For: Homegirl is 6′3!
Evidence Against: She’s not actually a hermaphrodite, she’s just half-Janice from The Muppet Show.

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CIARA
Evidence For: A strong jaw, a waist-hip ratio close to 1, and…is that an adam’s apple?!
Evidence Against: If she had a dick, wouldn’t Bow Wow’s vagina have been a little small for them to make it work?

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LADY GAGA
Evidence For: Being a supreme butterface.
Evidence Against: Those are not the curves of a woman with a schlong. It’s science!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. ]]> http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/07/dude-looks-like-a-lady-7-women-rumored-to-be-hermaphrodites/feed/ 15 5 Cougar Attacks In Otherwise Highbrow Movies http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/12/11/5-cougar-attacks-in-otherwise-highbrow-movies/ http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/12/11/5-cougar-attacks-in-otherwise-highbrow-movies/#comments Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:31:40 +0000 jerwin http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/12/11/5-cougar-attacks-in-otherwise-highbrow-movies/

So here’s the dilemma facing the producers of flicks like The Reader: you’ve got some schlocky super-serious “film” about war crimes or whatever and you know it’s gonna get a gaggle of Golden Globe nominations (Reader just picked up four), but you want it to reach a wider audience. The solution? Write in a side plot where an older woman seduces a teenage boy! (Duh.)

It’s no secret that teenage dudes think about sex a lot, and although they usually beat meat to thoughts of some schoolyard crush, the ultimate fantasy is having an experienced older lady show you the ropes. So while having Kate Winslet take baths with a 15-year-old guy in Reader may be crucial to the movie’s plot (fuck if we know), the cinephiles here at Complex see it for what it is: a cynical (albeit welcomed) ruse to get dudes to watch boring movies. After the jump, check our list of high-minded films that used this lowbrow plot device…

TO DIE FOR

• In this fleetingly NSFW scene, ambitious weatherwoman Nicole Kidman seduces Joaquin Phoenix and later convinces him to kill her husband. A note of caution to those who would play with cougars'there’s no such thing as a free lunch, ya dig?

NOTES ON A SCANDAL

• Cate Blanchett is slightly mannish, but fuck it, we would’ve cut for it if she were our teacher, too.

THE DOOR IN THE FLOOR

• We have no idea how a movie about a self-absorbed children’s book author got made, but we imagine the phrase “and then this 18-year-old loses his virginity to Kim Basinger” had to be part of the pitch meeting.

IN THE BEDROOM

• We’d been fantasizing about getting with Marisa Tomei since My Cousin Vinny. Getting shot in the head by her abusive husband was definitely not part of the deal though.

AMERICAN PIE

• Not highbrow, you say? Fuck outta here. The next time one of these other films coins a phrase that’s assaulted the lexicon like “MILF,” it’ll be the first.

SPECIAL OG STATUS AWARD: HAROLD AND MAUDE

• The grandaddy (or would that be grandmama? ewwww) of them all gets a special listing because, let’s face it, nobody was fantasizing about Ruth Gordon (least not in 1971). Still, H & M was funny as shit and probably gave some producer the idea to pair a teenage dude with, you know, an attractive older woman.

]]> http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/12/11/5-cougar-attacks-in-otherwise-highbrow-movies/feed/ 2 5 Actresses Who Might Like The Back Door http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/10/02/5-actresses-who-might-like-the-back-door/ http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/10/02/5-actresses-who-might-like-the-back-door/#comments Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:30:25 +0000 jerwin http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/10/02/5-actresses-who-might-like-the-back-door/

By now we’re sure you’ve heard about the cruel ~~hoax~~ rumor perpetrated on ~~the male gender~~ Anne Hathaway this week. Contrary to reports about her affinity for anal sex, Anne did not say that “every woman should try it,” or that it makes her feel “feminine in a very special way.” It was fun while it lasted, folks.

Anyway, once we were done ~~fantasizing about playing Anne some backporch music~~ being outraged at the rumor-mongering in our society today, we got to thinking: there must be some Hollywood hotties who use their service elevators for both business and pleasure. And lo and behold, after examining the public record, we found five who we think might be telling us there’s a key to their back door stashed underneath the flower pot.

Check out the suspected back door enthusiasts here…

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