In case you haven’t heard, conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh’s bid to buy an NFL team ended Wednesday night when he was dropped from a group of investors looking to purchase the St. Louis Rams. It seems that some of the Rush-ster’s past comments (including that the media hyped Donovan McNabb because it was “desirous in a black quarterback doing well,” and describing the NFL as “a game between the Bloods and Crips without any weapons”) didn’t sit well with a few folks, namely commissioner Roger Goodell, and the NFL Player’s Union’s 70% black membership.
The sad thing about Rush’s rejection? He could’ve fielded a team of guys just like him. No, not evil drug addicts, white dudes! Sure, they might not be the best 22 guys on the field, but at least Rush wouldn’t have to worry about them getting big heads because the media was desirous that they do well. Since Rush seems to view everything through the prism of race, we’d thought we’d help him out with the Coulda Woulda Shoulda All-White Limbaugh Team…
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As the NFL finishes week 5 of action, the league has had its share of embarrassing teams (word to last year’s 0-16 Lions). The Rams, Titans, Panthers, and others are all sucking out loud right now, but no team has even come close to the on-and off-field fuckery of the Oakland Raiders. Since 2002, the pitiful squad has set a record for most consecutive seasons with 11 losses or more. Not bad for a crew whose official motto is “Commitment to Excellence”—and with yesterday’s 44-7 loss to the Giants, it looks like the Raiders plan on continuing the bullshit for a while.
From owner-vs.-coach public feuds to teammate assaults and intrastaff jawbreakers (no Wonka), the team itself boasts behavior far more self-ethering than their GWAR-tribute fanbase. Which is why we’ve taken a quick break from tallying JaMarcus Russell’s wobbliest pass attempts to compile our list of the most embarrassing Raider moments of the decade. Enjoy!
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There’s a pinko in Cincinnati.
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad OchoCinco loves breasts almost as much as he loves attention. That’s why this weekend, when the NFL allows players to wear pink cleats to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the player formerly known as Chad Johnson will take things a step further and match his all-pink cleats to pink gloves, pink wrist bands, a pink mouthpiece, and a pink tutu pink chin strap. On his Twitter account, 85 said that if the No Fun League fines him for wearing additional pink, they can suck two tough titties and he’ll match the fine with a donation to a breast cancer charity. That’s how you show awareness, you boobs!
In honor of Ocho Cinco showing more pink than a porn set, Complex is looking back at the polarizing entertainer-athlete’s most sensational fashion statements. Check ’em out and vote on your favorite…
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Compiled by Ralph Warner
As promised in last week’s NCAA bonanza, we’re back like cooked crack to bring you the hardest hits in NFL history. After a seven-month break from NFL games that actually matter (sorry, preseason) the defending champ Pittsburgh Steelers are opening the 2009 NFL season tonight against the Tennessee Titans (8:30 p.m., NBC).
So while you kill time before kick-off, take a look at these vicious, agonizing, and gruesome hits—everything from classic DE blindsides to LB spine-twisters to even punters getting brolic with it. Click on for a tour of those game-ending (or season-ending, or even—word to Joe Theismann—career-ending) NFL hits that you crave…
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Nobody’s ever accused football players of being the sharpest cheeses in the larder, but we’re thinking Plaxico Burress may be the dumbest yet. You’ll recall that last fall, Plax shot himself in the leg at a New York nightclub; now Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau is saying that Burress can expect at least two years in prison for the mishap. Stupid Plax! He could’ve killed somebody and done half the time!
We don’t want to trivialize unregistered gun usage, but plenty of athletes have done far worse and done far less time than Burress. And we definitely aren’t in favor of locking more people up, but if the former Giants receiver is getting two years, we’ve got 5 Athletes Who Should Be Doing More Time Than Plaxico…
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It’s the classic tale of turning rings into serious cash—and no, we’re not talking pawn shops. Athletes who are part of championship-winning teams inevitably gain a higher profile and a newfound respect, which often allows them to leverage better contracts from other squads. The latest example is Trevor Ariza, who left the L.A. Lakers this month to move to the Houston Rockets for $33 million over five years. We’re not mad at Trevor for getting his paper, but history has shown that it’s not always the best move to leave a proven winner for greener pastures. Keep reading to see a history of players who cashed in on rings and whether or not it was a good decision…
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Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the dreamiest football player of them all? Why, Tom Brady of course. Don’t agree with us? Well the NFL certainly does, and they’re doing their best to make sure Tommy doesn’t get any more unnecessary boo-boos (God forbid!).
Yesterday the league approved four new rule changes, including a brand new “Tom Brady Rule” (not to be confused with the one made up on the spot for him a few years ago) that prohibits defenders who have been knocked to the ground from lunging at quarterbacks (meanwhile Bengal fans ask where’s their “Carson Palmer Rule”). But before all you hating-ass haters start thinking TB’s getting some kind of preferential treatment, know that he’s not the first athlete to have the game changed for him. Peep our guide to the 10 Plays and Players That Sparked Sports Rule Changes…
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Did the man in fleece fleece himself on purpose?
This past weekend marked the beginning of the NFL free agent season and also featured the league’s first blockbuster trade of the year. With Tom Brady set to return from his knee injury, the New England Patriots sent his replacement, Matt Cassel, as well as longtime linebacker Mike Vrabel to the Kansas City Chiefs for their 2nd round pick in this year’s draft.
There are all kinds of arcane and not-so-arcane salary cap reasons that Pats coach Bill Belichick made the trade, but anyway you slice it, he gave up a lot more than he got, a fact made all the more juicy for conspiracy-minded fans by current Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli’s former gig as New England’s vp of player personnel (a.k.a. Belichick’s co-architect in the making of the Pats’ dynasty). At the very least, the whole thing doesn’t pass an initial sniff test, but it’s not the first iffy transaction, as you’ll see in Complex’s list of the 5 Shadiest Deals in Sports History.
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Focused on his man’s game, Tim Tebow gives female fans the cold shoulder.
Hallelujah! Thank God! Praise Jesus! Tim Tebow, the Bible-beating star quarterback of the national champion Florida Gators, is stiff-arming the NFL to play his senior season! After God willed UF to win the Bowl Championship Series title game against the Oklahoma Sooners last Thursday, Tebow, a two-time national champion and the first player to win the Heisman Trophy as a sophomore, could have said, “Later Gators! God wants me to get paid in the pros!” Instead, he’s staying in school, ostensibly to compete for back-to-back titles and graduate.
Complex knows there was much more to his decision than the desire to get an education and get his Gators another championship. Read on for the five reasons we think Tim Tebow is really returning to the college ranks…
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It’s Thanksgiving Day, which means it’s time for somebody to carve up the Detroit Lions.
Thanksgiving is a holiday stuffed full of wonderful traditions'getting sloppy drunk at 10 A.M., inducing a coma with mass quantities of turkey and snapping wishbones in the hopes that we’ll get to put our face in Kim Kardashian’s donkey butt this year. One tradition that has no place in this mix is the NFL forcing football fans to watch the Detroit Lions get their tails whipped in a nationally televised game. Excluding 1939-1944, the Lions have been hosting T-Day games since 1934, but that doesn’t mean they should continue to even when they suck (the same goes for the currently decent Dallas Cowboys, who’ve been hosting since 1966 with the exception of 1975 and 1977).
The NFL added a third game in 2006 to counterbalance the wretchedness of its traditional games, but why not just use Thanksgiving to showcase teams that are actually good? Detroit hasn’t been in the playoffs since 1999, their current team is 0-11 and they’re playing the mighty 10-1 Tennessee Titans tomorrow (the 7-4 Cowboys face the miserable 2-9 Seattle Seahawks in another game that will put viewers to sleep faster than tryptophan). Traditionalists hate the idea of ever dumping the Lions or the Cowboys, but those assholes also think slavery and child abuse should have been preserved. So, this Thanksgiving, instead of trying to make our Kim K ass fantasies happen, we’re wishing for good football (to watch from the comfort of her donkey butt). Read on for five more horrible sports traditions that Complex wants to put an end to…
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