Cop this Freshjive side pouch for all your junk and free up valuable pocket space. [Daily Drop]

Affion Crockett spoofs the “Run This Town” video and kills it. [Nah Right]

Grab a beer and check out these Oktoberfest hotties. [Coed Mag]

New Converse Chuck Taylor pack with felt-finished kicks looks clean. [Kicks On Fire]

Sure, you’re good with the ladies, but looking at online smuts is still fun. [Double Viking]

Here’s how to keep your office hook-ups on the low. [Holy Taco]

Word is, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are about to get married. [PopCrunch]

There are so many beautiful girls in the world and not all of them are blessed with super twos. That’s OK though, because this week’s Fetish Friday is all about fly flat-chested women. Yeah, we can admit it: sometimes it’s nice to be able to hold breasts that fit in one hand. Big melons can be overwhelming, word to the state fair! Even Kanye co-signed smaller two’s on “Run This Town,” where he raps, “She got a ass that’ll swallow up a g-string/And up top…two bee-stings.”

So, as much as we love women who have stacks like the International House of Pancakes, we wanna show our appreciation for all the A-cups out there too. Some of our sexiest cover girls are part of the itty bitty titty committee! Check out our list of the 10 hottest celebrities with small chests…

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
• Washboard abs and washboard chest. Guess the Pirates of the Caribbean stole the booty and the boobies.

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GRACE PARK
• Your know our cover girl’s got skills when she can exude this much sex appeal without the excess cleavage.

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ANNALYNNE MCCORD
• Good thing there’s nothing for you to get caught staring at because the 90210 star looks like she slaps hard.

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OLIVIA MUNN
• Our homegirl Olivia proves that girls can be super sexy without super twos.

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FREIDA PINTO
• Her chest is slummin’ but she still looks slammin’!

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KRISTEN BELL
• Fanboys don’t care that she has small chimichangas and we don’t either.

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NATALIE PORTMAN
• She was rockin’ the birdchest and the buzzcut yet we still want to wife her. Wait, is that a pause?

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ALICIA KEYS
• We like her small boobs because we don’t think we can handle much more than those thighs and that ass. Damn.

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SASHA GREY
• Fuck outta here with Jenna Jameson-style silicone. Our favorite porn star keeps it au natural.

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CASSIE
• Good thing our two-time cover girl has small tatas because nipple piercings just wouldn’t look as good on double D’s.

• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE COMPLEX GIRLS POSTS!

Until recently, there would have been no doubt in our minds that Natalie Portman is wifey material. She’s a smoking hot Harvard grad who makes good money acting and has both a sense of humor and a genuine concern about sociopolitical issues. Then we heard those trife-licious rumors that our Israeli dream girl is the reason Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright are getting divorced with two kids in the balance. Deep thinkers that we are here at Complex, we had to sit and reevaluate Natty P on some scholarly shit. Check out the evidence, then help us decide if she gets the ring or the fling…


WIFEY?
• Two wifey musts: She’ll shave if role playing calls for it, and she’s got that good skull.

TRIFEY?
• When we watched young Natalie looking for love with older men in The Professional and Beautiful Girls we were secretly turned on figured that was superb child acting. Now that the 27-year-old minx has allegedly broken up 48-year-old Penn’s marriage, it appears those “performances” may have their roots in real daddy issues. We’d give her a “timeout” and a stern talking to if we didn’t think she’d love it.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE EVIDENCE AND VOTE!

Obviously, Portman landed the role because she’s dating the Venezuelan folk singer. But with the plethora of real life Bollywood beauties out there, we might have cast someone who is actually, you know, Indian. Everybody knows Aishwarya Rai, but there are a gang of younger starletts just waiting for an introduction to the West. After the jump we’ve compiled five real Bollywood stunners who would’ve put Portman’s performance to shame.

1. MALLIKA SHERAWAT

The model/actress made a name for herself in Murder, a movie that was inspired by Hollywood’s Unfaithful (starring Richard Gere). Sherawat’s first name means “empress” in Indian. Hail to the queen.

2. KATRINA KAIF

The Hong Kong-born actress got her start modeling at the age of 14 doing jewelry ads. Since then, the 24-year-old has acted in 13 films, with Singh Is Kinng and Yuvraaj slated for release this year.

3. SHILPA SHETTY

Though Shetty (we don’t want to hear any “shitty” jokes) is a staunch advocate for humanitarian causes like PETA, and HIV/AIDS, the veteran actress was at the center of controversy last year when Richard Gere violated Indian customs by kissing her repeatedly on the cheek at a safe sex press event. He couldn’t resist and neither can we.

4. SAMEERA REDDY

This hottie is a classically trained dancer that made her way to music videos. She also has her own video game for cellphones called Sameera the Street Fighter. Trained dancer = flexibility = good in the sack = we’re in love.

5. BIPASHA BASU

Bips was on track to go to medical school until she chose to flaunt her beauty instead of brains on the big screen. She was also a forgotten video girl in R&B singer Jay Sean’s “Stolen.”

Watch Natalie Portman in the “Carmensita” Video:

It wouldn't be that much of a stretch if Cameron decided to really cut off her locks, being that there have been numerous industry chicks who've gone bald and buzzed in the past. Check out some beauties (Britney’s crazy ass didn’t make the cut) who pulled off the short-hairdo off as well as the O.G bald-beeitch Sinead 0'Connor looking fairly woman-like after the jump.

Demi Moore

Mena Suvari

Natalie Portman

Sinead O’Connor

[Hollywood Tuna]