Complex Blog » Monica Bellucci

Happy Birthday! The Hottest Girls Born In September

jerwin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:22:58 +0000

September’s a month, 30 days it has, unlike some other months that have 31. And in those 30 days of September, some hot girls were born, and really, why read any more—let’s look at pictures of the 10 Hottest Girls Born in September…

SALMA HAYEK, 9/2/66
CLAIM TO FAME: Twos
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: Dos Testes
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BEYONCE, 9/4/81
CLAIM TO FAME: Not really that famous, but apparently she sings or something.
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: DIY divorce papers so she can dump that old dude she’s married to.
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EVAN RACHEL WOOD, 9/7/87
CLAIM TO FAME: Native of Raleigh, NC, ya heard?!
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: Our ever ratcheting wood.
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FIONA APPLE, 9/13/77
CLAIM TO FAME: CRSWILF (Chick Rock Singer We’d Like to Friend)
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: A cheeseburger
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HEIDI MONTAG, 9/15/86
CLAIM TO FAME: The stupidest person alive
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: A lobotomy
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MADELINE ZIMA, 9/16/85
CLAIM TO FAME: Complex starlet!
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: A clear, lime-flavored malt liquor drink. About seven of ‘em.
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MOON BLOODGOOD, 9/20/75
CLAIM TO FAME: Terminator Salvation badass
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: A skateboard
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CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, 9/25/69
CLAIM TO FAME: Spouse of an aged douchebag.
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: Pearl necklace
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CHRISTINA MILIAN, 9/26/81
CLAIM TO FAME: “Dip It Low”!
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: Gift certificate to PinkBerry
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MONICA BELLUCCI, 9/30/64
CLAIM TO FAME: Kinda pretty much the hottest woman ever
PRESENT WE’D GIVE HER: Any damn thing she wants

Kristin Cavallari Is Making Her Way Back

Joe — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:34:56 +0000

When The Hills come back this fall, Kristin Cavallari is going to be the H.B.I.C, and we can’t wait. [Bastardly]

Ah, the days of the O.G Facebook. [CoedMag]

Afternoon Pick Me Up: Sandra Alionco. [Flisted]

They’re not the #1 Rap Site for nothing. Check Nah Right’s recent press clippings. [Nah Right]

Hotties In The Wild. Oww. [DoubleViking]

Ashton Kutcher is calling for help for the two journalists jailed in North Korea. [Pop Crunch]

Milf Monday: Monica Bellucci [Holy Taco]

5 Foreign Voice Actors Who Overdub America’s Stars

prubin — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:23:45 +0000

If you live in another country, a) you’re already bankrupt, and b) seeing American movies probably means that everything has been overdubbed into another language. If you’re one of these dub specialists (word to King Jammy), you pull down some nice coin to stand in a studio and make people believe that the cast has suddenly learned French or Mexican or whatever. Well, in Brazil, the guy who usually delivers Sean Penn’s lines in Portuguese backed out of doing the gig for Milk'because he’s also a pastor and didn’t feel comfortable playing a gay character who does all kinds of gay stuff for gay causes and whatnot.

We’re not saying Marco Ribeiro is right or wrong, but we did take the opportunity to pull back the curtain and show you some of the many people who are responsible for making you laugh when you’re drunk in your hotel room watching Three Men and a Little Lady in Dutch…

MARCO RIBEIRO
• The Sean Penn of Brazil
Also Known For: Being a conservative protestant pastor. Also, looking like your vice-principal.

PAWAN KALRA
• The Arnold Schwarzenegger of India
Also Known For: Helping you re-install your OS from a partition drive. We’re here all week!

ORESTE LIONELLO
• The Woody Allen of Italy
Also Known For: As of last month, dying. Rest in peace, you spicy meatball.

JEAN-PIERRE MICHAEL
• The Brad Pitt of France
Also Known For: Weirdly, looking like Brad Pitt. Crazy hot wife not included.

TOBIAS MEISTER
• The Brad Pitt of Germany
Also Known For: Masking his pain by eating. Just taking a guess.

SELF-DUBBING POLYGLOT BONUS!
MONICA BELLUCCI
• The…Monica Belluci of France and Italy
Also Known For: Starring with Salma Hayek in the long-running erotic Wet Dream franchise, now playing in a man’s head near you.

Worldwide Wednesday: The 9 Hottest Italian Women

prubin — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:29:36 +0000

Heeeeeey, happy Italian Flag Day, (the tricolored flag first premiered on January 7, 1797) everybody! No, seriously. We love a celebration, and there’s-a no better way to commemorate the spiciest meatball in all of flagdom than to offer up an ennead'or nonet, take your pick'of the finest specimens ever to spring from the loins of the Boot. Or something like that.

Oh, forget it. It’s nine Italian women we’d gladly make our goomah. Happy?

#9. Giada De Laurentiis
Claim to fame: Putting all kinds of things in her mouth on the Food Network. The sexiest disproportionately large head in all of television.

#8. Elisabetta Canalis
Claim to fame: In Italy, she’s a popular TV personality. Here, she’s “Lady in Castle” in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. We blame the language barrier.

Casting The Next Hot Bond Girl

jerwin — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:29:23 +0000

It’s still a week away, but we don’t mind admitting that we’re seriously geeked for the new James Bond flick coming out next Friday. The franchise got a new shot of life with 2006’s Casino Royale, and Quantum of Solace (whatever that means) just might be even better.

What we do know for sure is that new Bond girl Olga Kurylenko makes us want to say “Doctor, yes.” And while we plan on savoring every moment of her turn as Bond sidekick Camille Montes, we couldn’t stop ourselves from thinking about who the next Bond chick might be. Read on to see our five favorites, complete with signature kill moves and Bond names that are way cooler than “Camille Montes.”

Click Here To See Our Dream Bond Girls…