The Love Guru Will Give You The Shaft
Mike Myers’s new movie The Love Guru is one long dick joke. Sadly, the jimmy in the joke is old and suffers from erectile dysfunction. As connoisseurs of cock comedy know, it’s not enough to take a joke and stuff any old flaccid phallus into it. That sort of poppycock engorges Ayo! Scott—with rage!
The Love Guru stars Myers as Guru Pitka, India’s second most popular spiritualist after Deepak Chopra. He is tasked with reuniting Toronto Maple Leafs star Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his estranged wife (Meagan Good)—who’s banging the opposing goalie (Justin Timberlake)—so he can focus and help his team win the Stanley Cup.
A decade ago, the movie might have been funny, but it’s 2008 and Myers’s story gags on recycled jokes that went limp long before Goldmember (2002) wrapped up the Austin Powers trilogy. Allow Ayo! to put the dick jokes in your face: There are names that leave penis on your breath, like Pitka’s publicist Dick Pants, Pitka’s teacher Guru Tugginmypudha, and Roanoke’s adversary Jacques “Le Coq” Grande, which translates into something like “jack the big cock!” Whenever Le Coq unleashes his legendary junk, it hits the ground with a thud—it’s that big! There are also self-help acronyms like D.I.C.K. and B.L.O.W.M.E.! Plus mini-thespian Verne Troyer is back to punch Myers in the crotch! If it weren’t for Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan, who steal the show as drug-addicted, painfully obvious hockey announcers, Ayo! would have felt completely shafted. Watch the trailer below.
