So, when we heard about the most recent incident of food contamination, a dead mouse in a can of Pepsi, we chalked it up to another folly of capitalism. Join us as we fondly reflect upon all the disgusting things people have found in their food…

McDonalds, 11/30/2000
DISCOVERY: Katherine Ortega bit off more than she could chew after she found a fried chicken head mixed in with her McNuggets. Talk about a value meal! In today’s rough and tumble economy, you’re lucky to get anything for free. Quit yer’ bellyachin’ – at least it wasn’t a used condom!

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McDonalds, 5/5/2009
DISCOVERY: A 7-year-old Swiss girl discovered a used rubber hiding in a sleeve of the world’s favorite french fries. It’s hard to say how a condom could have possibly turned up in a box of fries. We know happy meals can be exciting, but not like that.

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Waldorf-Astoria, 7/14/2009
DISCOVERY: Axel Sanz-Claus, a tourist from Germany, expected more from the high-class steakhouse in the Waldorf-Astoria than getting served a blood-soaked tampon with his meat. After the incident, Claus told reporters, “I had [the used tampon] in my mouth, chewed it, and nearly swallowed it.” Pause, Mr. Claus. Oh, and welcome to America.

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Arby’s, 4/25/2005
DISCOVERY: An Arby’s employee sliced off a chunk of skin while cutting lettuce and never looked for the other part of his finger that turned up in someone’s crispy chicken sandwich. Forget all that talk of skinless chicken, “crispy” is where it’s at!

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Subway, 7/16/2008
DISCOVERY: New Yorker John Agnesini is suing Subway restaurant after finding a large serrated knife baked in to his foot-long. It used to be that you could get stabbed on the subway. Now the problem is you can get stabbed eating one.

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Popeye’s, 7/16/2008
DISCOVERY: Tony Hill of Baltimore called the police after finding a fried dead mouse mixed in with his six-piece. In some parts of the world, fried insects are a delicacy. In Baltimore fried rodent makes for a fine hor d’oeuvres.

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Schneiders, 11/6/2006
DISCOVERY: A Canadian meat packing company came under fire after several batches of ham were found to be impregnated with syringes. There’s nothing quite like giving your entire family Hep C at Christmas dinner.

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Wendy’s, 5/15/2005
DISCOVERY: After sitting down to enjoy a hot cup of Wendy’s chili, Anna Ayala cried foul when she found the tip of a severed finger floating alongside her pinto beans. In the days following the chili finger incident, investigators would learn Ayala had planted the finger in her chili with hopes of being able to sue for load of cash. Talk about a finger fuck gone wrong.

Perhaps it’s a sign of web video overload that the release of last week’s hilariously awful Garner Fructis shampoo ad with Memphis Bleek went largely unnoticed'either that, or Bleek really is that irrelevant these days.

But in his defense, you can’t really eat off the rap game any more. And besides, Memph man is far from the first rapper to embarrass himself while endorsing a product (he is the first MC to shill for women’s shampoo, so throw up the Roc for that). We went deep into the archives to dig up the worst-ever ads featuring rappers. See our cringe-inducing collection, as well as Bleek’s awesome ad, below

RAPPER: THE FAT BOYS
PRODUCT: SWATCH
YEAR: 1985

Funny how our oldest ad is probably the least offensive. It’s also funny how the “stiff=white; fun=black” tropes haven’t changed much over the last 20 years.

RAPPER: KID ‘N PLAY
PRODUCT: SPRITE
YEAR: 1991

All we can say is: Damn, these muthafuckas are hyped for some muthafuckin’ Sprite. Give ‘em a two-liter bottle, they’re liable to start French-kissing each other.

RAPPER: MC HAMMER
PRODUCT: KFC POPCORN CHICKEN
YEAR: 1992

Seriously, who directed this ad? David Duke?

RAPPER: CHICKEN MCNUGGETS
PRODUCT: MCDONALD’S
YEAR: EARLY ‘90S

Damn, never thought we’d see the day. Those McNuggets fucking sold out, big-time.

RAPPER: REDMAN
PRODUCT: KARL KANI
YEAR: MID ‘90S

This is actually dope'we just wanted to put an example of a rapper ad done right. “Old folks put a ‘K’ on their pacemaker.” Props also go to the St. Ides collection and the mid-’90s Sprite classics.

RAPPER: SIR MIX-A-LOT
PRODUCT: TARGET
YEAR: 2005

Just goes to show that you can live off one gimmick song for the rest of your life. In other words, get ready for a “Super Glue that hooooooole” ad in about 20 years.

RAPPER: FAT JOE
PRODUCT: EASTERN MOTORS
YEAR: 2006

Here’s the equivalent of George Clooney doing a TV ad in Japan. Don’t think we weren’t gonna find this, Joey! We actually have mad love for Eastern Motors and their awesome jingle. This is worth a look for Joe’s awesome acting skills.

RAPPER: DIDDY
PRODUCT: SEAN JOHN UNFORGIVABLE COLOGNE
YEAR: 2007

What’s worse: (1) how seriously Diddy takes himself in his cologne ads, or (2) how flagrantly Ryan Leslie has swagger-jacked Puff’s whole steez. We’ll go with number two.

RAPPER: KANYE WEST
PRODUCT: ABSOLUT VODKA
YEAR: 2008

This shit is so aggressively “hip” that it’s aggressively wack. You know this ad took the brainpower of 16 white people in khaki pants, along with two “urban” kids hired to consult them. Viral our ass!

RAPPER: MEMPHIS BLEEK
PRODUCT: GARNIER FRUCTIS
YEAR: 2008

Bleek can’t be struggling for money (Hov!), so we wonder how this collabo was born. Our best guess is that Bleek was drunk and high at a club and unwittingly signed on as some balding ad exec pitched him while dancing awkwardly to “Big Pimpin.’” Something like that.